Family and Friends Forum

Hi everyone.

I remember in the early days trawling through this forum just wanting to see potential outcomes and timescales for sentencing. I wanted to post a bit about my story to hopefully give those in the early days a bit of further insight.

Exactly 11 months ago at 5am, we got the knock. My partner of 10 years and father to my 2 children was taken from the house, arrested then questioned and all his devices from the home were seized. My 2 young children were questioned. I was told my partner had indecent images of children in category A, B & C, social services would have to be informed and he was no longer allowed unsupervised contact with our children or to live in our house. I never suspected anything at all - he was a wonderful loving partner and amazing father to our children. He was well liked by all and had built a successful business from scratch. Post arrest, he was suicidal, couldn't eat properly, couldn't sleep and had no spare money to source proper alternative accommodation so spent a long cold winter either sleeping in his car or paying for one off air b&bs. My whole world fell apart. I had to keep going for my children's sake, but behind closed doors I fell apart. I couldn't sleep without sleeping tablets and couldn't function without strong painkillers and anxiety medication. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone and lost enjoyment in everything. He had no one to talk to and he already felt so guilty that I felt I couldn't properly express how I was feeling for fear of making him feel even worse. I felt I could not tell friends or family for fear of how they would react, so for a good few months I struggled alone. It was such a dark time.



He pled guilty from the get go and actively sought support. I was given full disclosure from the police/social services due to us having children together. The offences were possession of 25 cat A, around 10 cat B and a few cat C. The images were girls aged around 13 onwards, solo videos and pictures (to give context). My experience with social services was horrendous. We had 3 social workers in the space of 4 months, I found them judgemental and difficult to work with. As our children were on child in need plans and the case did not meet threshold for child protection, after 7 months I decided to end our involvement with them as it was just causing more stress and upset.



Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and he was sentenced - 4 months sentence suspended for 2 years, victim surcharge payment of around £100 and a SHPO in place. The judge took into consideration his traumatic upbringing, him pleading guilty from the start and also my character statement for him. The SHPO does not affect family life as the solicitor argued to have all wording changed from under 16's to 'females under 16'. As our children are boys, this means he can resume being a normal dad to our children with no issues. He is allowed to take and collect from school and have them overnight. Throughout this ordeal, we have remained friends as he has shown genine remorse, put work in to change his ways and I felt life was difficult enough without us being at loggerheads.

Prior to sentencing I started to slowly rebuild my life, getting back into the swing of things at work and doing more things I enjoy. It showed me life has to go on, even when what feels like the worst thing in the world has happened. Post sentencing, I feel a huge weight has been lifted and the future looks a bit clearer. No press were there and for that, I will be forever grateful. Things do get better and you come out the other side - battered and bruised but you do get through it and life can be good again. It has taught me to always be kind, as you never know what's going on behind closed doors.

I sincerely wish you all the best and send you love and positivity. Take care of yourselves xxxx