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Moving on and trying to live life!

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Tm17

Member since
October 2024

1 post

Posted Tue October 15, 2024 9:37amReport post

I cannot belive 2 years into our situation I have only just discovered this little forum! It's answered So many questions so far but I do have a few more I'm hoping for some help on!



so a little background. OH was arrested Sept 2022 charged Oct 2023. We have a 2 year old boy and a nearly 1 year old little girl. He's able to live at home, no SS involvement, low risk ect. However I'm finding a lot of it confusing. When he was charged he was told by his DPO that he wasn't allowed to go to swimming lessons anymore... which made sense I guess but was annoying as it hadn't been a problem for the last year when on bail... I have 2 small children and want to tech them to swim... but I can't take them both and can't leave one on their own? Is he really not allowed to take littles ones to a swimming lesson ? There is nothing about it on any of the paperwork!



I've always worked with children... I'm a qualified EYP and always dreamed of being a childminder... obviously this won't happen now. But I can't work with children as I have a SO living with me... is this for life of just the 5 years he's on the register?



Family holidays like Butlins... I find this one odd. So we've been told that their policy says we can't go as they won't allow anyone with a offence in knowligly... but how would they know? Would he be in trouble with probation or anything if we did go? There is no logic to me as they're happy for us to go to CBeebies land hotel at Alton towers as they don't see him as a risk but just simple terms and conditions say he can't go other places? Would this backfire at all? Assume we don't even need to tell them we were going as it's only 4 nights?!



last thing SCHOOL! my little ones are still a few years of this. I've always been very open to the idea of homeschooling. His DPO has implied that once my little boy starts school or nursery she would have to tell them about the offence... we live in a small area and there is no way I'm letting that get out. Is this defiantly the case? If it is it just pushes me to home school which isn't a bad thing for me, but would this set SS off?



sorry for the long post. It's been a rough 2 years and I feel like we're finally starting to see the light but the future still worries me :(

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

450 posts

Posted Tue October 15, 2024 10:40pmReport post

Hi. Sorry I do not know the answer to most of your questions but, in answer to the Butlins t&c. I read somewhere, that if this is in the t&c then it is advisable not to go. Should the company find out they can then ban you. Also, should there be any incidents at the holiday park, even if your person is not involved, they will be the first person that the poilce will suspect. So it is for their protection as much as anyone's.

MumOfL

Member since
October 2024

3 posts

Posted Mon October 21, 2024 11:00amReport post

Hi I've just got to this stage with my child starting reception. I didn't tell them at first because his SHPO is only to do with devices and his offence was him opening a link through an email that was obviously a scam and it brought up IIOC and SS wasn't involved for very long once court had revealed it was a link but they had to give the minimum of 5 years and a SHPO order for device.

School have found out and now want to restrict him from the school and I'm finding it hard to navigate and fight our corner so if your already thinking of home schooling I really would.

MrsBrown

Member since
May 2023

1 post

Posted Sat October 26, 2024 12:37pmReport post

Hi, sorry to hijack your post. I have no advice but want to ask some advice. How is it that your SO is able to live with you and your children? I'm so confused when I see posts like this. We're 3 years in, just got SS out of our lives but he still can't come home and only has supervised access 2 hours a week. My SO has 18 months probation and 10 years on the register so perhaps the crime was more significant. I'm just so broken and exhausted. I don't know how to be a single mother of four children under 8, it's too much and I just want him home. How do you have no SS involvement? They pushed me to file for divorce and passively threatened to take my children if I don't stick to the safety plan. I understand that all cases are different but sometimes it seems that they arbitrarily break families apart.

Edited Sat October 26, 2024 12:38pm