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when will I let go

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sadso

Member since
December 2023

97 posts

Posted Thu October 17, 2024 11:07pmReport post

I'm feeling very powerless in my own thoughts this evening and I just cannot snap out of this , the huge family fall out , my young relative has brought upon us , most will have read my story I won't share again. I love me relative dearly to the extent I feel like I'm his mother which I am not my parents have lost friends and family as have I and my sister , every day this year later from media backlash and all the other nasty stuff that come with it, I cannot switch off I have great friends, my parents my sister my niece but what is it I'm always searching for there is nothing abkut this I can change , but yet I cannot get over how people whom were once close to me could treat us this way is it my ego? am I still grieving a life of what ? my personal life is great, but I'm ruining it with my thoughts and harbouring pain I am on medication , I'm just overwhelmingly sad how can I change my thoughts process because I cannot change the situation , it's out there his future is tarnished as reputation I fear for him , but I have a lot of , fear, shame, sadness I'm an emotional wreck it cuts me up inside to the point I cannot even explain it I let this consume my life I want it to stop I know that's on me though I'm a massive overthinker I repeat the day in my head it doesn't seem like one whole year it seems like yesterday

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1044 posts

Posted Thu October 17, 2024 11:27pmReport post

All of your feelings are normal. Sometimes it's the ignoring them and trying to be strong that becomes too much.
People respond to things according to their viewpoint, we can't control that but we can examine how we feel about the choices they've made. I thought some people might show more compassion for me but perhaps that's because I would show it to them. We can grieve relationships lost or changed and the lives we wanted for ourselves and our loved ones. I'm happy for you to private message me if you'd like information on what therapy I've had xxx

sadso

Member since
December 2023

97 posts

Posted Thu October 17, 2024 11:56pmReport post

thank you for your reply, I've sent you a message

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2600 posts

Posted Fri October 18, 2024 4:16amReport post

Bless you - our journey is so hard with definitely life changing consequences for so many people. I could make such a long list of how my life has changed over the last four years. All down to what my son did.

But through that pain and darkness after time light does begin to slowly shine through. Your life takes a different path for sure and yes, the sadness and blips continue to arise, but you learn and just do your best to cope with it at that time.

i have fantastic crutches that support me, this forum & the friends I've made through it come top of that list. Good 'can' come out of bad ie. I was squeezed out my job and immediately I took on a part time job which I love. It's something I would never have even thought about before.

suppose I'm just trying to say sadso is don't give up, in a different way your life will reshape and you'll gradually move forward, but in a changed new way.

Edited Fri October 18, 2024 4:20am

sadso

Member since
December 2023

97 posts

Posted Fri October 18, 2024 10:42amReport post

smile through the tears, thank you for your words , I woke up this morning and again first thing on my mind it just doesn't stop but I'm goig to have to try new ways to shut my mind off from it all , it's coming up a year and I think I'm terrified of people sharing memories of the targeted day out of spite that scares me that this will go viral again and all be brought back up I guess to me it's still just too raw and letting go is something I struggle massively with I know when I do things will change and I may feel a lot better it's just getting to that point xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2600 posts

Posted Fri October 18, 2024 1:31pmReport post

I understand. I think it remains continually on my mind on and off but I openly talk about our son + memories with my hubby which helps. He listens more than responds! Whereas one time it was all too much to talk about at all.

I easily lapse into stress mode, yest coming across our baby photo albums and only an hour ago seeing two police cars on out street..... but I give myself a good telling off..... and force myself to get back on track.

Edited Fri October 18, 2024 3:25pm