Trying so hard
Notifications OFF
We are 8 months into oh sentence 4 months to go and sentence spent, 8 months past media coverage only one person said anything to face I came off social media my friends have worked tirelessly to have nearly all posts removed, our daughter has excelled in school looking at straight A's, oh started his new job few weeks after sentence has since been given a promotion, completed his community payback in good time, my job entails working within the community and have been shown nothing but kindness and warmth, yet I find myself in a dark hole struggling with self care, personal care I am fine in work but been off on annual leave for a week and feel I am in the darkest hole, I am also going through menopause so unsure if that's where my depression is from, I don't take any hrt determined to go natural and let nature take its course. Really don't know the point of my post but just wanted to write it all down I guess, life is pretty normal we still have moments of what do people think due to how it was printed in the media but oh continues with his private psychologist to work through his self esteem, we are more of a team now picking eachother up when needed he is noticing the days now that he needs to be the backbone of the family.
To all those starting this journey I searched and searched for answers on this forum but it's an individual journey that we all are forced to take, self care for yourself is vital it's the one thing I missed for sure was too busy caring for everyone else and now I pay the price for that.
Please just take time to yourself on a daily basis ????
Xx
To all those starting this journey I searched and searched for answers on this forum but it's an individual journey that we all are forced to take, self care for yourself is vital it's the one thing I missed for sure was too busy caring for everyone else and now I pay the price for that.
Please just take time to yourself on a daily basis ????
Xx
Oh sweetheart you've been through so much; your poor inner child must be crying out for some unconditional love from you. Presumably you've given everyone else compassion, kindness, dignity and gratitude; that's evident in your daughter's successes, your husband's wellbeing and the fact you have wonderful friends. Try to find some of that compassion, kindness and gratitude for yourself.
As a childhood DV survivor and now this, i'm always seeing things through the lens of my own inner child, and now think about how my children's experiences now will shape their adulthood. Every time I have a wobble about how their father's actions will impact on the rest of their lives, I make an effort to check in with me too.
Please don't be afraid of antidepressants; in the same way you'd hopefully allow yourself paracetamol for a headache, you may need some help with your brain chemistry after everything you've been through x
As a childhood DV survivor and now this, i'm always seeing things through the lens of my own inner child, and now think about how my children's experiences now will shape their adulthood. Every time I have a wobble about how their father's actions will impact on the rest of their lives, I make an effort to check in with me too.
Please don't be afraid of antidepressants; in the same way you'd hopefully allow yourself paracetamol for a headache, you may need some help with your brain chemistry after everything you've been through x
Lisamargemaggie
Thank you so much for your kind words I have been on fluoxitine but don't think it's really doing anything perhaps I need to up the dosage
Thank you so much for your kind words I have been on fluoxitine but don't think it's really doing anything perhaps I need to up the dosage
I'm on max dose of sertraline since day after knock (had already been on it for 11 years at various doses) and am now also taking Mirtazapine at night, which seems to have helped the racing mind, jittery sinking feeling etc. I'm still a complete mess much of the time of course, but it's less distressing / explosive.
I was on mirtrazipine too to help me sleep. After 2 years I've come off it as I thought I duynerd it - but my sleep is now shocking.
My oh has mirtrazqpine he sleeps like a log but if he forgets to take it he starts talking in his sleep it's all his anxiety
Honestly once I've taken the mirtazapine at bedtime I can't stay awake to ruminate - it knocks me out within an hour. I'm still able to wake at a sensible early time in the morning and don't feel groggy.
I'm so grateful to the duty GP for prescribing it when I phoned in an absolute hysterical frenzy just over a month ago (3.5 months in). I'd never heard of it and assumed I'd have to change meds if the sertraline wasn't cutting it - I didn't realise you could have both! I know I need both and feel like this is probably the most equilibrium I'm going to be capable of at the moment. I'm still capable of profound sorrow and heartache (yay?) but I'm not in despair.
I'm so grateful to the duty GP for prescribing it when I phoned in an absolute hysterical frenzy just over a month ago (3.5 months in). I'd never heard of it and assumed I'd have to change meds if the sertraline wasn't cutting it - I didn't realise you could have both! I know I need both and feel like this is probably the most equilibrium I'm going to be capable of at the moment. I'm still capable of profound sorrow and heartache (yay?) but I'm not in despair.
This is really interesting thank you, I'm on the max dose of Sertraline and finding the rumination at bed time difficult to cope with. I sleep so much better when I'm with my OH but he's obviously only here for the night when my kids aren't so it's only once sometimes twice a week. I'm going to discuss this other medication with him too.
Starting a new job in a couple of weeks so lm mindful I've got a period of being unsettled. Also painting mine and the kids rooms in time for Christmas and various other house projects going on. Need to make sure my self care is prioritised but think part of my self care at the minute is distraction - hence all the house jobs !! Xx
Starting a new job in a couple of weeks so lm mindful I've got a period of being unsettled. Also painting mine and the kids rooms in time for Christmas and various other house projects going on. Need to make sure my self care is prioritised but think part of my self care at the minute is distraction - hence all the house jobs !! Xx
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