Family and Friends Forum

Lolamoo73

Member since
November 2020

60 posts

Posted Mon October 21, 2024 1:29pmReport post

Hi all, hope everyone's Mondays are going okay.

Im currently 18 weeks pregnant and have made a referral to children's social services to start the process. My OH was sentenced to 18 month's suspended 3 years ago for IIOC and has 7 years left on SOR. He's got a SHPO too but only online based, no contact restrictions so we currently live a very normal life.

We had a late miscarriage earlier this year at 21 weeks and the stress of SS didn't help. They were wanting to go straight to preproceedings despite me being aware of the risk, OH having done courses and lots of family aware and around to support us.



We are expecting social services to turn up randomly at any moment and want to get a more solid safety plan in place to show us being proactive. In an ideal world, we'd love it if my OH could stay at home with us but perhaps in a separate room with some measures in place to mitigate risk during the night.

Would anyone be willing to share what they have done / safety plans they have in place to help us navigate this extremely rocky road.

Thank you all x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1042 posts

Posted Mon October 21, 2024 5:32pmReport post

Hello lovely,

I'm so very glad to hear your news. I'll send you a private message with some things I'd be looking at doing in your situation.

Sending you lots of love xxx

Lolamoo73

Member since
November 2020

60 posts

Posted Mon October 21, 2024 6:19pmReport post

Thank you so much! xx

Flower

Member since
February 2023

111 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2024 9:59pmReport post

Congragulations on your pregnancy! I'm going to message you privately x

Lastima

Member since
July 2024

49 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2024 10:42pmReport post

Ladies do you please also mind to share with me please ????

Flower

Member since
February 2023

111 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2024 8:39amReport post

Hi Lastima,

I am in the midst of storm that is care proceedings, and am by no means of an expert but in my experience safety plan need to consider following points and must be tailor made for your family. Parents protect website has many videos/articles relating to this.

bedroom, sleeping arrangements

safe adults (informed family members in emergency)

privacy such as nudity at home and knocking doors

Internet restrictions/monitoring

Responsibility of personal care

In-house rules such as only dressed photographs of children to be taken

Arrangements for birthdays, parents evenings, sleepovers


Please add more if you can think of ?

Edited Fri October 25, 2024 8:40am

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1042 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2024 9:39amReport post

In addition to Flowers plan mine contains a plan for as little one grows; pants work, books that are age appropriate but open up conversations such as my body belongs to me. How we will approach disclosure with our daughter and manage her emotional needs around that time. Much like Flower said about safe adults we have a network of trusted people that our daughter can talk to if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me as she grows (predominantly thinking of those teenage years) xxx

Edited to add using anatomically correct terminology for body parts xxx

Edited Fri October 25, 2024 9:40am

Lastima

Member since
July 2024

49 posts

Posted Sat October 26, 2024 3:28pmReport post

Oh i see....I never have one! My OH moved out and social services close the case second day after arrest !