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I’ve never felt this isolated before

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sunshine5

Member since
June 2024

42 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 3:37pmReport post

The isolation and pain is something else.

i don't want to live any more , thats it.

umbrella

Member since
August 2024

10 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 3:44pmReport post

Hi, I totally understand. I just popped on to read and just can't not respond to you.thought don't post myself usually. Please ring help line to talk to them. But don't do anything rash and keep talking message me if you need too xxxxxx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

452 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 3:52pmReport post

Please contact the LFF helpline. We are all here. The isolation is hard and can be overwhelming. I have often felt it, but you have people who love you and would not wish this for you. Please speak to the samaritans their number is 116 123 and/or your GP.



We are all here for you, holding your hand and giving you a hug. The feeling will subside, and you will be able to see more clearly that life is for living.



Please post an update so we know you are well. Xx

Katie28

Member since
December 2021

184 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 4:02pmReport post

Hello Sunshine,

I totally feel your pain and sense of isolation, I'm not sure what stage of the process you are at but I felt the realisation of isolation on the day of the plea hearing when we had our first horrendous bout of publicity. I think from the day of the knock to the plea hearing I felt lost, bewildered, confused, angry, sad etc etc, you name it I suffered every emotion other than happiness. The isolation is terribly painful, there is too much information to digest and try and explain to others which you don't have to do. The day of the first hearing was the day I found out who my true friends, family, neighbours and colleagues were and also those of my husband. Some people were extremely vocal and opiniated and others didn't know what to say, looking back I realise I took control and made it very clear to people what "my" intentions and stance was and it was up to them to support or walk away. I never thought I would have the strength to get through but with the support of this group, LFF, my GP and my therapist I did. I implore you to at least speak to your GP who will sign post you to other services, there are a lot of useful contact numbers on here too which I imagine LFF will help you with. This situation is something that a lot of us would never have prepared for even in our wildest dreams. Three years down the line I still sit quietly at night on my own and think about horrible morbid thoughts such as if my OH was to pass away who would go to his funeral, the once popular and socially in demand man who had a lot of close friends now only has me, his son and his family and half of my family. I know this is ruminating and is what my therapist advises against but sometimes there are things we cannot share with anyone else.
Please ring the helpline as a matter of urgency or feel free to PM me at any time.

You are not alone Sunshine, we are all here to help you.

Lots of love Katie xxx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 5:56pmReport post

I rarely post on here but I had to respond - Sunshine, believe me when I say that I felt exactly the same just over 3 years ago. In my case it was because of my son, the same son that this morning I went out for a glorious autumn run with. I never thought it would be possible to feel happy again, let alone have any kind of relationship with him. Hang on in there, brighter days will come xx

EBP

Member since
September 2021

211 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 6:05pmReport post

As Lola says.
Hang on in there. You have done nothing wrong & you have a life to live,both for yourself & others. Use the helpline & Samaritans. They cannot magic it all away,but they can listen to your fears & worries. Tomorrow is a new day.

Hugs x

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 6:24pmReport post

I completely understand. I'm going through this for a second time and it's been 7 years since the first knock. The only way I've been able to "cope" is to pair my life down, literally to the bare minimum. I've survived but it has been simply survival. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat. X

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

402 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 6:53pmReport post

Sunshine, if you feel suicidal, please call the Samaritans: 116 123

Help is available xxx

Lrf

Member since
July 2024

39 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 7:34pmReport post

Definitely call the Samaritans, I was very nervous to do this, so I understand it's daunting ,I put the phone down a few times after dialling. But it was so helpful to talk to someone, and they were very non judgemental. It lifted a weight off my shoulders.

Edited Tue October 22, 2024 7:35pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2599 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 8:00pmReport post

Please take everyone's advice, you've hit rock bottom but believe us your life isn't over - think of all the people that love you. We've all been right where you are now my lovely and the sun will shine again through these dark clouds - that's a promise.

we join together right now to give you a hug and let you know we are here for you xxxxx

Edited Tue October 22, 2024 8:31pm

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

461 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 8:30pmReport post

Just another voice adding to everyone else's - sending you strength and that we see you, you are not alone xxxx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

566 posts

Posted Tue October 22, 2024 9:39pmReport post

Adding my voice to this please please reach out and get some help- I know how you are feeling and have been there myself but I promise you that you can get through it and that we are all here for you and sending you so much love and support xx

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

24 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 12:31amReport post

Oh Sunshine, please reach out to the helpline or Samaritons. I think a lot of us here know that utter despair feeling but as time goes on it feels more livable. Keep messaging here and remember we can help you while you carry the load. Sending you hugs and if I can help in any way message me ??

Cassiopeia

Member since
February 2024

38 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 12:33amReport post

I am here. We all are. You are not alone. You have reached out to us now take the next step and call the help line. Sending love and understanding x

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

235 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 1:08amReport post

I've been where you are. Thinking about the ways I could end my life. Ultimately I couldn't do it because of my children.

If you haven't already then please speak to your doctor. Medication can and does help

I promise you these feelings do slowly receed

Stan cat

Member since
October 2024

37 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 7:43amReport post

Please don't do anything rash you can get through this things will improve to give a bit of time and we are all here to help you and support you. Sending you loveXxx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1044 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 8:57amReport post

Echoing everyone else's comments. We are all here to support you. Do reach out to the Samaritans and the helpline to talk things through xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2599 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 2:03pmReport post

Here's hoping you're ok xxxxxxx

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 5:21pmReport post

Oh my gosh, I expect many many people on this forum (and others who have lived this horrific experience but not engaged with the forum) can totally empathise with your feelings.

The feelings of loneliness, isolation, shock, trauma, grief, stigma, shame, hurt and rage forced upon us are extreme, and like no other. But you are not alone.

Having been where you are, I can offer some hope and try to assure you that there is life on the other side. I thought for a long time that I would never again experience happiness. But that's proved not to be the case. There is lots for you to look forward to, and you may even find some unexpected silver linings to the darkest clouds.

Perhaps take a look at my post pinned to the top of this discussion board 'Journey to Planet Knock'. It seemed to ring true for a lot of others who read it.

Also, as well as this forum and LFF, when you feel the time is right for you, you may find it useful to explore some of the below:

Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and trauma counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.

Barnado’s: helping children and families feel safer, happier, healthier and more hopeful. Specific support for children with a parent in prison.

Children Heard and Seen: support for children with a parent in prison and their families.

Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.

PACT: The Prison Advice & Care Trust (Pact) is a charity which supports people affected by imprisonment, providing practical and emotional support to prisoners’ children and families, and to prisoners themselves. Free confidential helpline for prisoners’ families and friends (0808 808 2003).

Prisoners families helpline: free, confidential support and advice for families in England and Wales who have a loved one in contact with the criminal justice system.

SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.

Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.

StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.

Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.

In the event of a custodial sentence, 'www.emailaprisoner' and 'prisonvoicemail.com' are really easy-to-use and valuable ways to keep in touch (if you want to!).

Edited Wed October 23, 2024 5:28pm