Family and Friends Forum

Starting fresh

Notifications OFF

Kate89

Member since
November 2019

4 posts

Posted Sun November 17, 2019 6:03pmReport post

Hi everyone. I've never posted before and just discovered the forum in the last few days. I might aswell start with my story as it were.

KMy ex partner was found guilty of having iioc on his laptop. We recieved the knock at the home we share with our son almost one year ago now. I remained with partner all through thr last year. He wasn't allowed to live with us but social services were happy for him to have access which I could supervise and don't seem to have any further concerns. Unfortunately our story was printed in the media where both my address and my ex partners new address was revealed. Its been a tough week with alot of threats to his home where he lives with family. I'm trying to move on the best I can for the sake of our son (he was only a matter of weeks old when the knock came) in some sense he won't ever remember life where we all lived together since it was so brief. He's an amazing dad to my son and I'm happy for contact to remain and I expect alot of criticism for that from people. We decided to split for the sake of our son and myself to give us that fresh start and to prevent me being targeted in any way. I still love him very much. I was at the full court case as I had to go as a witness unfortunately due to the fact I also had access to the laptop. I was happy that majority of what was said in court he had already told me. We do believe it was a miscarriage of justice but unfortunately we didn't understand the help we could of got to prove his innocence. His family are currently looking into an appeal but we're not sure if that's something we want to go down due to him perhaps receiving a harsher sentence when the time comes next month. Is this a route anyone has gone down? Feel like we can't be the only ones where innocent people are convicted of this. I

I've read alot of people have moved away and I do think it sounds like the best idea for my partner at the moment due to the risk he faces to his safety and i would like to be able to take my son to visit him and also feel we are both safe. I'm just worried that when he has his sentencing next month, a new address will be read out and then it's square one again. Can anyone shed any light on how they managed this? Is there a way to move away without that happening?

Thank you to everyone who's read this far. Im not even sure it all made sense and it's the first I've reached out to anyone regarding this.

SallyBlue

Member since
March 2019

268 posts

Posted Thu November 21, 2019 1:40amReport post

Hiya Kate, I'm sorry you are in this position. I was threatened a lot due to my husbands case being heavily published. If it was me and I had the choice to move before court, I wouldn't. His new address may be published so as you say you'd be back to square one. It gets easier, I promise x

Stitch

Member since
August 2019

15 posts

Posted Thu November 21, 2019 6:12pmReport post

If it helps at all, my husband got an Air B&B the night before sentencing, the address used in court is the address you stayed at that night so that's what he provided. This was the address that got read out and therefore was in the news article, thankfully this address was nowhere near where any of us actually live so spared us a lot of worry.

Rosa

Member since
March 2019

42 posts

Posted Sat November 23, 2019 9:39amReport post

I think giving someone else's address thst then gets printed in the paper is an awful thing to do - sorry, just had to say that. Others might disagree but morally I think this is totally wrong. To draw someone else into this who is totally innocent (something thst has happened to the majority of people on here who had not idea what their partners were doing) is not something you should be advocating.

Kate89

Member since
November 2019

4 posts

Posted Sat November 23, 2019 10:33amReport post

Thank you. I didn't think that would work anyways Re. Air b&b? He spoke with his police support worker¦manager and she advised if he moves then he would only divulge this address to her and it wouldn't be needed in court. However his lawyer has also said he can ask the clerk on the day for it not to be read out but since the local media have taken initial interest I don't trust that they wouldn't then look into public records and see it. I hope I can update you all next month with how it all worked out.

Stitch

Member since
August 2019

15 posts

Posted Sat November 23, 2019 12:24pmReport post

Well I'm sorry you feel that way Rosa but we had little choice, my husband is not allowed to sleep at my address because of the children and his parents were not going to allow him to use their address either so he was effectively homeless and had to get temporary accommodation anyway. So that's just the way it worked out.



You would need to consult your solicitor for this kind of advice anyway as it seems a complete lottery what information gets read out in court.

Rosa

Member since
March 2019

42 posts

Posted Sun November 24, 2019 10:23amReport post

I understand Stitch and agree that anything that can be done to protect the innocent families drawn in to these situations is understandable. If this is the case however I would maybe advise others then to use an independent hotel for that night in which case the prosecution would be more likely to say "so and so of no fixed address".