The advice I would have given myself
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The advice I would have given myself and that I want to give to new people on this journey: Be extremely cautious what you tell social workers, especially verbally
My husband's case has been NFAed and my husband has just gotten the information from a FOI request he's done to social services.
The first social worker who called me on day 1 after his arrest twisted all my words. Example: the police told us on the day of the arrest that my husband could come to the house during the day if I supervised him. As it was explained to me on the on the phone by the social worker, this was incorrect information: social services have to give their approval first. So this was caused by misinformation given to us by the police and I explained this to the social worker.
On the FOI data sheet I can see that the social worker wrote that it's a risk factor that I "haven't acknowledged the bail conditions". She didn't put in her report that the police gave me wrong information. So completely twisted everything I said
She also wrote it was very worrying that I wanted to stay in a relationship with my husband and that I saw no transferable risk to my children. She therefore recommended an urgent strategy discussion.
Funnily enough, someone else wrote on the notes later on: A strategy discussion was considered, but it was then decided that the bail conditions were sufficient to keep the children safe.
None of this makes any sense.
My husband's case has been NFAed and my husband has just gotten the information from a FOI request he's done to social services.
The first social worker who called me on day 1 after his arrest twisted all my words. Example: the police told us on the day of the arrest that my husband could come to the house during the day if I supervised him. As it was explained to me on the on the phone by the social worker, this was incorrect information: social services have to give their approval first. So this was caused by misinformation given to us by the police and I explained this to the social worker.
On the FOI data sheet I can see that the social worker wrote that it's a risk factor that I "haven't acknowledged the bail conditions". She didn't put in her report that the police gave me wrong information. So completely twisted everything I said
She also wrote it was very worrying that I wanted to stay in a relationship with my husband and that I saw no transferable risk to my children. She therefore recommended an urgent strategy discussion.
Funnily enough, someone else wrote on the notes later on: A strategy discussion was considered, but it was then decided that the bail conditions were sufficient to keep the children safe.
None of this makes any sense.
Totally agree with you, I've personally have had nothing but negative experiences with social services and the way they've treated me, and from what I've seen on this forum, many other women just as poorly.
When I first met my 1st social worker I was in a hugely vunerable position so I was very open and honest about my struggles with mental health in the past- huge mistake. There were countless discrepencies in their report but at the time I was far too scared to say anything, my SW before my latest was awful, constantly lied on reports and twisted my words, never gave me information/updates and skirted around questions they didn't want to answer, was determined to have my OH out of the picture entirely as well as treated me like a child on top of all that.
my latest SW seems fine, but with the experience I've had I'm extremely cautious about what I do or say and they've even acknowledged that but with the damage that's been done I really don't know if I can trust them. I'm more than willing to work with SS to come to a reasonable conclusion and I get there's good and bad in everything but from my exprience I can see why social services have a negative image.
It's bad enough that we have to go through this hell as it is, don't need the added stress and worries that SS can bring too xx
When I first met my 1st social worker I was in a hugely vunerable position so I was very open and honest about my struggles with mental health in the past- huge mistake. There were countless discrepencies in their report but at the time I was far too scared to say anything, my SW before my latest was awful, constantly lied on reports and twisted my words, never gave me information/updates and skirted around questions they didn't want to answer, was determined to have my OH out of the picture entirely as well as treated me like a child on top of all that.
my latest SW seems fine, but with the experience I've had I'm extremely cautious about what I do or say and they've even acknowledged that but with the damage that's been done I really don't know if I can trust them. I'm more than willing to work with SS to come to a reasonable conclusion and I get there's good and bad in everything but from my exprience I can see why social services have a negative image.
It's bad enough that we have to go through this hell as it is, don't need the added stress and worries that SS can bring too xx
100%! Take everything said by SS's and/or the Police with a huge pinch of salt and check and double check. X
And also don't wear your heart on your sleeve when talking to social services. They're not your counsellor.
For instance if you tell them that you were depressed, even if it was 15 years ago, they will put it down as a risk factor.
For instance if you tell them that you were depressed, even if it was 15 years ago, they will put it down as a risk factor.
What phone did your partner have