Ex sex offender help
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I've been with my husband 9 years now, when he was 19 he was placed on the sex offenders register for 2 years however he kept missing appointments (because he's an idiot) with his probation officer and was therefore sentenced to prison where we done 4 months and was placed on the register for 10 years. He's now been off the register for 2 years.
Last week he had been chatting to my friends daughter online who we have been trying to get to open up to anyone regarding her being bullied and all the hatred she has built up inside. He had been talking to her as a stranger online and he was actually opening up to him, and then the idiot made 3 inappropriate comments to her realised what he had done and changed the subject. Now he actually knows her phone gets checked and these messages were found by her mum and I somehow (long story) figured out it was him and called the police. He was charged with indecent conversation with a child but was liberated the next day with no bail conditions pending further enquiries.
my worry now is I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I'm willing to forgive him for making such a stupid mistake (with conditions) so we can try and repair our marriage. As soon as all of this had happened I contacted my midwife and at the time I was determined I was having nothing to do with him. I've since decided I need to find out where I stand with social services and the police etc going forward if I was to be with him. I understand there will be involvement somehow but I have no idea to what extent. If there's any chance they will take my baby he knows I won't take him back but I'm scared they will push me to keep him out of mine and my babies life when we are both willing to do what ever it takes to safely go forward and be a family.
does anyone have any advice or experience they can share I'm at my wits end I don't even know where to start. I'm determined to do everything by the book to ensure I don't lose my baby
thanks in advance
Last week he had been chatting to my friends daughter online who we have been trying to get to open up to anyone regarding her being bullied and all the hatred she has built up inside. He had been talking to her as a stranger online and he was actually opening up to him, and then the idiot made 3 inappropriate comments to her realised what he had done and changed the subject. Now he actually knows her phone gets checked and these messages were found by her mum and I somehow (long story) figured out it was him and called the police. He was charged with indecent conversation with a child but was liberated the next day with no bail conditions pending further enquiries.
my worry now is I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I'm willing to forgive him for making such a stupid mistake (with conditions) so we can try and repair our marriage. As soon as all of this had happened I contacted my midwife and at the time I was determined I was having nothing to do with him. I've since decided I need to find out where I stand with social services and the police etc going forward if I was to be with him. I understand there will be involvement somehow but I have no idea to what extent. If there's any chance they will take my baby he knows I won't take him back but I'm scared they will push me to keep him out of mine and my babies life when we are both willing to do what ever it takes to safely go forward and be a family.
does anyone have any advice or experience they can share I'm at my wits end I don't even know where to start. I'm determined to do everything by the book to ensure I don't lose my baby
thanks in advance
Hi there,
Our stories are similar as unfortunately mines was down to image's the the thoughts and feelings you have I completely relate with. Our nightmare started when my son was only a few weeks old and it definitely wasn't how I envisioned our future and starting a family. I would recommend being careful when it comes to social work as you don't want to come across at any point not being protective of your baby. I asked some of those questions in the beginning to social work regarding my then partner having access to our baby and would there be a future for us and they said I wasn't minimising the risk to our baby. At the time I definitely wasn't thinking straight due to just having given birth so my health visitor was very supportive and made it clear I was in shock which was why it seemed I was downplaying the charges. After 4 weeks I was allowed to be a supervisor to any access my son had to his dad. I would make it clear that your baby comes first (which I know you would be) but at this point in time you are very confused. Social work would of potentially already of been notified since he was previously on the register. I hope this made sense. I've only just discovered this forum and even reading everyone's posts seem to be helping.
Our stories are similar as unfortunately mines was down to image's the the thoughts and feelings you have I completely relate with. Our nightmare started when my son was only a few weeks old and it definitely wasn't how I envisioned our future and starting a family. I would recommend being careful when it comes to social work as you don't want to come across at any point not being protective of your baby. I asked some of those questions in the beginning to social work regarding my then partner having access to our baby and would there be a future for us and they said I wasn't minimising the risk to our baby. At the time I definitely wasn't thinking straight due to just having given birth so my health visitor was very supportive and made it clear I was in shock which was why it seemed I was downplaying the charges. After 4 weeks I was allowed to be a supervisor to any access my son had to his dad. I would make it clear that your baby comes first (which I know you would be) but at this point in time you are very confused. Social work would of potentially already of been notified since he was previously on the register. I hope this made sense. I've only just discovered this forum and even reading everyone's posts seem to be helping.