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He's admitted he is attracted to children

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Bondi

Member since
December 2023

63 posts

Posted Sun November 3, 2024 8:39pmReport post

I've been told by a friend, that he has frankly admitted he is sexually attracted to young children and as been for decades -

I feel so used, empty and worthless , I met him when I was just 18 so he was my first and only. I dedicated my life and soul to him and it never seemed enough - I will never ever trust anyone again and feel I am tainted.

Has anyone else's oh admitted this?

It's obviously a huge thing to admit (not to me so I can't ask him)

I do wonder if this will also impact his court case (if they even become aware of this? Does it even matter 'why' he had the images).

ARGH! The gift that keeps giving

Lastima

Member since
July 2024

49 posts

Posted Sun November 3, 2024 9:46pmReport post

Hi !

I'm sorry to hear your experience. It's horrendous as all here. Picking theses things is not good and cause so much trauma for us!

I'm having teraphy since the knock to try to understand this sort of addiction. I do because I have two children with my ex and I need to understand the triggers for the sake of my childrens safety.

I learnt that they will never admit if they like children. It's a big step to him to work on the issue. My ex saw pictures and he still denied that he likes kids. It's very sad, specially when they have kids themselves like my case.

I don't know about the court and ve honest as he is waiting to be sentence.

I hope you can find some closure on the fact that now you know he likes kids and can move forward and heal. ...well...I don't know ....if my EX admitted it would be easier to meet to comprehend the whole mess!

Please take of yourself ...you deserve a healthy person!

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Mon November 4, 2024 6:03pmReport post

Hi, I'd been with my husband for 30 years when The Knock happened . We met at age 21, were married for 17 years and had 4 children. We lived a normal life, no major highs, no major lows, we never argued. From very early on in our relationship, we had intimacy issues. I was overweight so I assumed it was my fault. He allowed me to believe that for decades. Other than this one issue, he was a very kind and caring husband. He was a fantastic Dad and everyone who knew him loved him. The day after the knock, he phoned me from prison as he'd been remanded. He had 2 minutes. During that call he told me he'd had these feelings towards children since the age of 13. It broke me. I married a P, had children with him, shared a bed, cooked and ate, snuggled on the sofa, shared everything with him. He knew what he was when he married me and when we had children. I put all 4 of my children in the most horrendous danger, but I knew nothing about it. There was nothing weird about him. Nothing at all. Of course, I know why he wasn't particularly sexually attracted to me now. I decided as soon as he told me that I could never have competed with that and therefore absolutely none of this is my fault. I divorced him within the first year but I supported him. I knew I'd never trust him again. This was 7 years ago and we've been best friends ever since. I wish I'd walked away completely because 3 years ago he was rearrested and is about to be sentenced again. All I have left is our son. I lost everyone and everything else. Much love to you, I hear you and I get it. Xx

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Mon November 4, 2024 6:06pmReport post

Also, my ex wasn't addicted to porn. He was 12/13 when these feelings started for him. I doubt we will ever know what caused it.

Bondi

Member since
December 2023

63 posts

Posted Mon November 4, 2024 8:53pmReport post

Littlerobin I certainly going through some of the same feelings, I blamed myself for not been physically available especially after the birth of our son and my changing body. (didn't help his 1st reaction to this was to blame our dwindling physical relationship).

I also don't believe he was addicted to porn as said he had these feeling pre-teen that he never grew out of.

I wonder how much real help offenders get after charges to delve deeper into their reasons as I worry he will reoffend without dealing with his 'preferences'.

Im civil with him but all trust is gone and he has shown no intention of trying to rebuild any sort of relationship, continues to try manipulate me at every turn and even told people I'm keeping his son away from him despite me practically begging for contact with a 3rd party so he doesn't even have to see me,

I selfishly want closure but I probably would never be happy or trust the answers

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

233 posts

Posted Mon November 4, 2024 9:47pmReport post

My husband blamed my lack of interest too. I knew he was looking at porn - why would I want to make love to someone who I'm pretty sure wasn't thinking of me whilst we were doing it.

Crushed

Member since
July 2024

109 posts

Posted Mon November 4, 2024 11:17pmReport post

Bondi and littlerobin3 had either of your partners been abused as a child? X

Bondi

Member since
December 2023

63 posts

Posted Tue November 5, 2024 1:19pmReport post

*crushed - no he hasn't been abused. He said he just found young girls attractive since he was a preteen and it didn't change as he grew older.

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Fri November 8, 2024 2:52pmReport post

Crushed - no, he wasn't abused and had a very good childhood.

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Fri November 8, 2024 2:53pmReport post

Bondi, my ex went to prison. There's no help whatsoever unless they can afford to pay for private therapy. It's really hard with my ex because he's a really nice person and we had a good relationship until the knock.