Family and Friends Forum

Hi, I reported it myself and also didn't really have a choice as I work for the police. Thankfully they have been very supportive of my situation and have referred me to counselling and provided extra leave just after reporting. But it's also a mark on my file that I was in a relationship with an offender.

I really think it depends on your line of work and how well you're coping with the news incase you need time off and support.

Hi sunflowers. I asked a similar question a couple of months ago and received some very helpful responses. My experience is of recently having to tell my employer about my partner. I was very worried as I work for a children's charity (though not in a service delivery role), have an annual DBS check, and my contract has a couple of clauses which made me feel I might be on shaky ground. I'd only been in the job for a year. It was awful telling my employer, but they were very understanding and have been supportive, reassuring me that it has no bearing on my job or job security.

I'm so sorry you are also going through this horrendous experience. It's hard enough to deal with without worrying about your own job. Try not to worry - once you have got the hardest bit over and told them I am sure you'll find them equally supportive.

Hi sunflowers, I'm sorry you an your brother have found yourselves in this situation. I didn't initially tell my manager or HR but when I did they listened to what I had to say and offered me the support through the occupational health service.

My person is my son and he moved back in with me on the night of his arrest. He was sentenced a year ago and his story was reported in the media after his plea hearing and again after sentencing so we have nothing left to hide. I subscribe to the DBS update service as I require an enhanced DBS for my job. Despite the fact that my son lives with me, I have not had any issues with my DBS or my job. There has been some gossip in a department I previously worked in but this has been behind my back so I choose not to engage with it.

My immediate manager is a lovely bloke and ex police. I told him straight away and he has been amazingly supportive along with my department manager. When it came out in the press he told everyone else for me.

Couldn't ask for a better team. No one mentions it but I know they are all supportive.

I work for the NHS in a clinical role, so I disclosed straight away. The police did say I didn't need too but I didn't feel right not saying anything and also you're under enormous pressure and anxiety and telling them means they will at the very least have an understanding of what your going through. This can be helpful, my ex OH recently had a police interview and I told my manager and she allowed me to take some leave as I knew mentally I would be feeling rubbish.

My managers were beyond understanding, and it had no bearing on my enhanced DBS, they passed it through HR as a precaution but we're happy for me to continue. I immediately had him move out and sought a divorce too which they also knew.

I hope you feel you can tell them it is useful to have all the support you can get :)

I think it depends on what job you do but it's worth just checking your contract. In the main (unless you're a childminder/ teacher etc) you do not have to disclose unless you want to, but as others have said, it might be worth it if you think you will be supported better that way.

I work for the NHS in a clinical role and my direct manager knows my husband was arrested but has not suggested we need to tell anyone else; he has been very supportive. I also contacted my defence union who have lawyers who advise on this kind of thing and they were very helpful in letting me know what I needed to tell (nothing; it is not my arrest, it does not affect my work), and I found that very reassuring. As I understand it, there is a possibility, if he is charged that it could show up as an "extra" on an enhanced DBS check, but I can apply to have this removed if it does, and actually there is no guarantee it will anyway. Guilty by association no longer exists in law (since 2018 - easily google-able for reassurance), and employers cannot dismiss you for a family members crimes. I would also say I think the DBS thing is done on address and so unless you live with your brother, no problems there.



Sending lots of love your way; the idea that your career will be affected is super stressful and absolutely consumed me at the beginning. The unlocked website/ helpline might also be very reasssuring to you.

Hi, my daughter was in the first year of med school when we got the knock. She disclosed immediately. My brother in law was a psychiatric nurse and also disclosed immediately. The NHS were very good in both cases and were very reassured that the situation had been raised straight away.

Hi, I work in a school, so I disclosed to my line manager and our family liaison officer straight away.