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Nina

Member since
September 2024

6 posts

Posted Wed November 6, 2024 9:27amReport post

7 weeks after the knock and after all my OH devices were checked the police today sent him an email, that all seized devices were without any child abuse materials and decisions has been made: No further actions against him. Life back to normal??? No never

I kicked him out i haven't spoken to him i didn't want to see him. My daughter was distraught. When they came they said that they have sure sources and he will be charged.

My life is hell nothing is the same. I am constantly lying all my friends and family. Our life is broke. How comes that without any evidences they go in someone's house and turn upside-down the whole life of one family. I don't know what to do. He admitted that is porno addicted and had a regular chats in sex groups but only adults. He betrayed me and yes he cheated on me but he is not pedophile. I hate him but still miss him we were 18 years together

What would you do in this situation?

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Wed November 6, 2024 9:52amReport post

Oh Nina,

I'm so very sorry that this has happened. Only you can decide what you want for your life. Take some time to process, perhaps seek some counselling for yourself and your daughter as a first step.
I left my partner and we remain living separately 4 years later but we are working to rebuild our relationship. He did commit a communication offence and has been charged and most of his punishment is complete. He has therapy and hasn't watched porn since his arrest as he identified that it's an issue for him that he has to manage by abstinence. He is committed to rehabilitation and I've seen many changes in him which is why, for now I'm choosing to commit to working on our relationship. I have firm boundaries in place having done a lot of work on myself over the years too.
My advice to you would be to work on healing you and your daughter first and then look at where you go from there. We can't just turn off our feelings and either route is hard. You're allowed to change your mind and to not have all the answers. Be true to yourself, we only have one life so it needs to be one that feels right to you and brings you happiness xxx

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Wed November 6, 2024 12:37pmReport post

Nina, I'm sorry you're going through this.

We also had NFA, but it took 2 years and 3 months to get this result.

NFA doesn't always mean innocent, it just means that no evidence could be found.

I know for sure that my husband committed the crime as he told me so on the day of the knock.

Only you will know how you want to proceed, if you want to continue with the relationship or not.

Your feelings might change several times and that's also okay.

You've been through terrible trauma and it's normal to need time to recover from this

Lonelyaround5555

Member since
August 2024

18 posts

Posted Wed November 6, 2024 6:32pmReport post

Hi nina. Was he arrested and interviewed? Do you know if the devices were sent to forensics? Just curious because we've been waiting 4months now.

And I'm happy for the result for you.

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

30 posts

Posted Wed November 6, 2024 11:48pmReport post

7 weeks is very quick, we are just over 3 months in. Police initially said 12 months for devices checking. When bail was extended they said they would see if they could get them done quicker. Possibly because we don't think it's being handled right for number of reasons (relates to our teenage son) and husband threatened them with a complaint when it's over.

I don't hold out much hope though that it will be quick reading the posts. Just praying sorted whilst still a child.