Hurt and confusioned
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A vigilante group knocked on our door, videoed it and put it on social media. 2 half weeks ago. My partner was talking to 4 decoys possing as minors. And send indecent images of him self I think to 2.
When he was released in bail I had no contact for 8 days. He sent me an email saying what had happened ect. He's been on an app for talking, making friends dating and meet for over 18. He said he was never in the app to meet someone it was just to talk and get out his head. I asked if any of the conversation went to sexually nature and he said yes but only if that was the way the conversation went and he only did it to stay in the conversation instead of his head. He has no idea why he let the conversation with the minors go that way. He never sought them out.
We meet on Monday this week and talked it over I don't know if I will ever forgive him for this, I've been cheated on before by a previous partner. We have been together for 14 years and have 2 kids. I said I can be there for him as a friend but that's it. The next day he spiraled saying he's toxic and he was done and talking himself out the equation. He'll face the court and get metal health help but we are all better without him. My friend phoned him talked him round and he text me the next day again with open communication, we arrange for him to get a supervisored vist as it was on of the kids birthday yesterday and the kids missed him so much.
He came over today while the kids were at school and he spiraled again saying everyone is better without him he's now got no job and no way of helping support us ect.
He has hope I would take him back but I don't know if I every will. He says no pressure but seeing me is hurting him as he loves me and I can be with him. I do still love him but can't get over what he's done. I'm somhurt and confused and when he's wanting to cut us all out I feel rejected and abandoned.
How do I deal with this up and down from him.
Should I tell the kids or just let him cycle through these emotions
Has anybody took them back been able to reconnect. I don't know if I can or will the emotions cheating is a lot for me to even process let alone the minors.
What's life like at the other side
Thanks
When he was released in bail I had no contact for 8 days. He sent me an email saying what had happened ect. He's been on an app for talking, making friends dating and meet for over 18. He said he was never in the app to meet someone it was just to talk and get out his head. I asked if any of the conversation went to sexually nature and he said yes but only if that was the way the conversation went and he only did it to stay in the conversation instead of his head. He has no idea why he let the conversation with the minors go that way. He never sought them out.
We meet on Monday this week and talked it over I don't know if I will ever forgive him for this, I've been cheated on before by a previous partner. We have been together for 14 years and have 2 kids. I said I can be there for him as a friend but that's it. The next day he spiraled saying he's toxic and he was done and talking himself out the equation. He'll face the court and get metal health help but we are all better without him. My friend phoned him talked him round and he text me the next day again with open communication, we arrange for him to get a supervisored vist as it was on of the kids birthday yesterday and the kids missed him so much.
He came over today while the kids were at school and he spiraled again saying everyone is better without him he's now got no job and no way of helping support us ect.
He has hope I would take him back but I don't know if I every will. He says no pressure but seeing me is hurting him as he loves me and I can be with him. I do still love him but can't get over what he's done. I'm somhurt and confused and when he's wanting to cut us all out I feel rejected and abandoned.
How do I deal with this up and down from him.
Should I tell the kids or just let him cycle through these emotions
Has anybody took them back been able to reconnect. I don't know if I can or will the emotions cheating is a lot for me to even process let alone the minors.
What's life like at the other side
Thanks
Hi moon
My son was caught by viglantes and video put on face book
As beginning a mum I support him
Some family have support, others not,he lost most friends
His wife remains with him,but live in different houses,he lives with his grandparents and she lives with her mum,due to losing their home
He his know 4 months post sentencing and nearly finished his community service
He just managed to find him self a job
He his getting there
He just take each day as it comes
Regarding his wife,she up and down Regarding staying with him
My son was caught by viglantes and video put on face book
As beginning a mum I support him
Some family have support, others not,he lost most friends
His wife remains with him,but live in different houses,he lives with his grandparents and she lives with her mum,due to losing their home
He his know 4 months post sentencing and nearly finished his community service
He just managed to find him self a job
He his getting there
He just take each day as it comes
Regarding his wife,she up and down Regarding staying with him
Hi Moon, my son felt the same after his arrest. He also believed his children and now ex wife would be better of without him. Fortunately we managed to get him an urgent appointment where he was prescribed medication for anxiety. This alongside seeing a therapist and help from LFF helped him through.
It is very early days and you may well change your mind about your relationship over and over again so try to avoid feeling pressurised into making any big decisions until you're ready.
It is very early days and you may well change your mind about your relationship over and over again so try to avoid feeling pressurised into making any big decisions until you're ready.
Thanks Ocean and Poppop
I didn't get notification of comments on my post, tanks for replying.
It is so early and I will keep that in mind.
He's now re though his decision to cut himself out and is stay local so he can see the kids. He thought everyone would be better without him in their life and so no-one would be tarnished by him.
He's seen the kids a few times and is also getting metal health help.
I don't know what the future holds for us he wants to win me back and for me to fall back in love with him but everything feels broken.
I didn't get notification of comments on my post, tanks for replying.
It is so early and I will keep that in mind.
He's now re though his decision to cut himself out and is stay local so he can see the kids. He thought everyone would be better without him in their life and so no-one would be tarnished by him.
He's seen the kids a few times and is also getting metal health help.
I don't know what the future holds for us he wants to win me back and for me to fall back in love with him but everything feels broken.
I know it's so hard to do, but if you can try to focus on one day at a time. There is no hurry to make any big decisions and at the moment your thoughts will be all over the place.
Thanks