Family and Friends Forum

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

66 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 8:22amReport post

Hello

Sitting here with only my thoughts to keep me company and I've never been so frightened in my life.

Tomorrow is sentencing day, been told to expect a community order, SHPO etc but know that this can go the other way, depending on the judge. I just don't know how I can get through the next 24hrs!

I'm worried that it will be in the media again, worried they will get a photo of him, worried that a member of my family will be there. So they can report back to the family, who I haven't spoken to in months. The last time I spoke to them they said they wanted me in their life but not OH, but not once have they reached out to me.

Life is pants and at the moment I see no joy in it :-(

I hope I can be strong to get through tomorrow.

xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2596 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 8:27amReport post

Bless you - it's easy to sense your anxieties. It's very hard when families react like this, I know from my own situation x

All I can suggest is wrap up, get out in the fresh air and breathe it in. Watch a favourite movie with lots of warm drinks. Try to get out so your not looking at four walls.

im sure we'll all be thinking of you tomo.....

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

792 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 9:05amReport post

I totally get your fears and remember only too well feeling the same.

Today is the day to do anything that makes you feel just that little bit calmer. Meditation, walking, snuggling up on the sofa under a blanket, eating cake, checking through the practical issues in case of worst case scenario, hot chocolate, cleaning etc.

You will get through this. We're here walking alongside you sending you strength and support.

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

24 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 12:16pmReport post

Oh lonely and bewildered, you poor sweetheart. I agree with the other ladies, try to get out of your headspace today, get out and take a drive or a walk. Play some music, dance anything that brings a smile to your day. We will all be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping alongside you for a positive result. I know you have had the added turmoil of family members. It's hard to navigate through it almost alone. But we ladies are here and we will have your back. Lots of hugs x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2422 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 12:41pmReport post

Lonely x

Huge hugs sent to you xx

Our mind is our own worst enemy at times by overthinking

As all the other lovely ladies have said try to do something to keep yourself occupied as hard as it is you will both get through this xx

Thinking of you tomorrow and please reach out to us xx

PrairieMom

Member since
May 2024

81 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 2:09pmReport post

Lonely & Bewildered, I will be thinking about you and your OH today and tomorrow. You will get through this too.

EBP

Member since
September 2021

211 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 2:49pmReport post

Bless you. Our minds fly off in so many directions at this time.

The sun has just peeped out of the clouds for the first time in weeks. Let's hope it's peeping where you are & you can focus on it's rays.

We will be there in spirit with you tomorrow & will prop you up after. Here's hoping for a positive community outcome.

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

143 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 3:31pmReport post

Wishing you all the luck in the world! And fingers crossed it is a community order - I am sure it will be xx

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

66 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 6:52pmReport post

Thank you all for your kind words. They have all been so comforting.

xxxx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

566 posts

Posted Sun November 10, 2024 10:41pmReport post

Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and support xx

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

233 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 5:10amReport post

I took my person to court - then went shopping. Certainly took my mind off it.

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

117 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 7:15amReport post

Thinking of you today, I hope the day goes as well as it can xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

617 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 8:17amReport post

Thinking of you



xxx

Exhausted

Member since
August 2024

11 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 9:05amReport post

Thinking of you today. Hope you get a good outcome. X

Ted

Member since
January 2024

11 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 10:50amReport post

Thinking of you today and hoping for the best outcome

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

461 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 1:11pmReport post

Like all of us, sending strength and a hug and wondering how today is going for you? X

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

70 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 1:59pmReport post

Thinking about you today. Sending you a big hug and streght

hat

Member since
September 2024

14 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 2:17pmReport post

Thinking of you hope all is ok x

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

365 posts

Posted Mon November 11, 2024 5:20pmReport post

Thinking of you, hope it all went as well as possible

Stan cat

Member since
October 2024

36 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 6:28amReport post

Good luck for today fingers crossed for you and I hope you have as good a outcome as u possibly can sending love xxx

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

66 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 7:32amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue November 12, 2024 8:13am

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

66 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 8:13amReport post

Hello All

Court was horrendous yesterday, two family members were also present who refused to speak to me. It all started late due to the judge which didnt help.

A six months sentence which is suspended for 18 months, 150 hours unpaid work. 40 hours of work with the probation service (think this was called maps for change), SOR for 7 years, SHPO for 5 years (only restrictions is not to delete internet browsing history) plus a fine.

I did sit in court which was one of the hardest things to do but I had to prove to my family that I was aware of the full facts. I don't think my family will ever forgive me for supporting him. And look at me as a weak woman who needs someone to look after her.

Where to start with court, the judge was late, it was then pointed out that the magistrate court hadn't entered a plea on the paperwork, this had to be discussed. After sentencing, we had to wait for the paperwork, solicitor said that was unusual as normally this is sent. So we waited and waited, finally it was handed over only to be wrong. It then took them over an hour to correct that, by now we had told our solicitor to leave, he wanted to stay but it was pointless. We then had to go to the court office to ask for the paperwork only to be told, oh we'll just print it! And then told by an admin person to go to the police station to register the SOR. When explained already done it after magistrate was told that as it's a finally order from Crown Court it has to be done again! The police station he was directed to wasn't even our local police station! He's off to our local one today to make sure he is covered.

And to top it all, it's in the media again, however the article was online this morning at 5am. And other stories are now higher headline news. Luckily, he's not named in the headline, it's only after you click and read the article, his name appear. Plus no photo which was my biggest worry.

I always said that I would decide if to stay or go after crown court, I'm exhausted. I feel too exhausted to try and save my marriage, that's if it can. I've clearly lost my family due to some comments said by them on leaving court blaming me for all this. I have no one and life feels tough this morning. And that's on top of the raging anger I feel towards him for putting me through this. Hopefully, this will calm over the coming days and I will see more clearly.

Again, thank you all for reaching out and knowing that some else had my back. Plus sorry for the long post again.

xxx

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

143 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 8:38amReport post

I'm sorry to hear about your family's lack of support. Give them time, maybe they'll come around after the dust has settled. In awe of your courage x

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

148 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 9:32amReport post

Oh lonely, that's such an awful day for you. You must be exhausted. Hopefully you can try just have some peace and quiet and time to reset. Everything settles with time. I was thinking of you all day yesterday.

PrairieMom

Member since
May 2024

81 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 2:28pmReport post

Thank you for the update. I've been thinking about you. I hope you can crawl under a warm blanket and have a good nap.

Exhausted

Member since
August 2024

11 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 2:43pmReport post

I'm so sorry your family have not supported you. How outrageous to attend and not speak to you. Just sending you a big hug and reminding you that you never have to rush decisions, the idea of deciding whether to stay after crown court doesn't need to be rushed. Look after yourself like you would want your best friend to be looked after; be so gentle.

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

154 posts

Posted Tue November 12, 2024 3:13pmReport post

What an awful day for you. I'm sorry that your family was there but not to support you. It sounds very much like our experience of crown court asthey were not prepared either. Take your time, you don't have to rush into any decision but do what is best for you. Sending you a huge hug. Take care of yourself x