Family and Friends Forum

Justdontknow

Member since
March 2024

26 posts

Posted Wed November 13, 2024 12:23pmReport post

It's 9 months to the day of the knock for my 14yr old son, we have heard nothing apart from when iv called them (twice, once for progress update, second to inform them we were taking a family visit to Yorkshire for a week, an I wanted to make sure it was ok)



Things have progressed where we have secured an ehcp and are looking at other schools to move him to.

But..with the police, it's at a standstill.

The last time I called, I spoke to a different officer and she said I sounded concerened and anxious (no, really?!)

Now I feel if I continually call to ask for information that I'm doing something wrong.. but its been 9months.. we just want to know what's happening, we want to be able to book a family holiday for next year but feel we can't.. incase once booked, the worst outcome an lose our deposit, or get to the airport an get stopped an lose all the money..



I guess I'm just venting, I'm not exactly sure what I should be doing at this moment

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

143 posts

Posted Wed November 13, 2024 12:46pmReport post

I'm really sorry, Justdontknow. This must be absolute torture if your person is your son and that young. I would have hoped the police would be better at communication if the defendant was also a child. You are doing nothing wrong by trying to get in touch with them. If you have a solicitor, the general rule is that they can ask for an update once every month, so it's clearly allowed. Unfortunately, whether they respond or not is entirely at the discretion of the police. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. My person was told by their solicitor that 8/10 they will ignore the email and we were lucky to have a responsive OIC.

Justdontknow

Member since
March 2024

26 posts

Posted Wed November 13, 2024 1:47pmReport post

I suppose to the police..it doesn't matter if it's an adult or a young child they are dealing with. I guess the riots this summer didn't help either and put pressure on an already difficult drain of resources.

We just need to know what's happening..

T2021

Member since
December 2020

103 posts

Posted Wed November 13, 2024 7:18pmReport post

It's so long.
Is he on bail or RUI?
it took over four years for the police to to bring charges against my person. It wasn't complex, it's just the backlog that's how long it took

Justdontknow

Member since
March 2024

26 posts

Posted Wed November 13, 2024 8:18pmReport post

Not sure what rui is.

Nothing at the moment, no restrictions or anything, CHAD closed the file the same day they spoke to us and his school...

He can travel anywhere, do anything and use the Internet and his phone freely (although we have locked it completely down...admittedly too little too late)



But our luck would be we book somewhere and they call or knock and ask us to come for and interview...

Crushed

Member since
July 2024

109 posts

Posted Thu November 14, 2024 8:37amReport post

Hi,

Same position here with 15 year old son, heard nothing.

I would call and say you want to book a holiday and see what they advise?

It's all so awful isn't it :-(

Seems so silly for the police to say you sound anxious, which is totally expected in this situation surely!

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

40 posts

Posted Thu November 14, 2024 7:06pmReport post

Hi

In similar situation with my 16yr old.

Just playing waiting game and when contacted police to check what can and can't do we don't always get response.

Last time husband spoke to them when bail was extended, the officer tried to make out they understood how hard this was for us. Husband had right go at them. Told them he didn't trust them and planned to complain.

Worst part is the not knowing what exactly he's accused of and the waiting game.