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Shocked, where do I go from here?

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Devasted

Member since
November 2024

1 post

Posted Thu November 14, 2024 9:04amReport post

It feels like the longest week but in reality it only happened two days ago.

On Monday the police entered my property at 5.30 am while I was sleeping and had arrested my husband on his way to work. The house was searched and extra phone my husband had that i did not know about it was found.

I was later collected and taken to the police station and questioned and found out my husband had sent images to young people. They showed me some of the pictures sent of his manhood and got me to indetyfy it was indeed his.

As the story unfolded it turns out they were already aware of my husbands wrong doing and the last person he spoke to was an undercover officer.

He was charged and held in remand.

I am devasted after 16 years of marriage, I thought I knew him and now it turns out I do not. We live in a small place with a name that not is common it has been posted all over social media and feel like I dont even want to step out the door due the shame and what people may do or say to me!

I made a statement agasint my husband so I thought he would of guessed that I was not standing by him. he has had the prison call me twice asking me to drop stuff off and give him money for a phone card so he call me. I made it clear to the prison I dont want him to call me. It sounds like my husband is just not getting it.



Where do I go from here? How do I make my husband realise it's the end, there is no going back?

Thanks for reading.

LisaMargeMaggie

Member since
July 2024

109 posts

Posted Thu November 14, 2024 12:56pmReport post

Hi Devastated. Sorry you're part of this desperately sad motley group of partners/parents/siblings/children of offenders.
There are many on here who are 'out the other side', living proof that you will survive this, but I can tell you at 6 months post knock it does get a tiny bit easier.
Do you have children? Have you got a robust friend to confide in? Do call the helpline - those ladies are absolute gems. Nothing you tell them will shock them, believe me I've ranted and sobbed and howled at them in anguish.
Be reassured that none if this is your fault, and he may not yet understand (or be willing to think about) why the EFF he did this.
Take each day one hour at a time. If you manage to eat even a biscuit, you're doing well. Baths can be very soothing, as can breathing exercises and mindless tv, though some shows may be unexpectedly triggering.