Teenager Mum
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Hi Mums out there on the forum.
I am another Mother of a teenager in this painful situtation. I have read messages on the forum but never gathered courage to post anything.
Since the knock the past has been blurry, depressed, trying to make sense of any of it and how we as family landed in this situation. Why it happened, what did we do
He has since been in his shell and very difficult to communicate of what has happened and how. He said he met some people online which shared pictures with him along with adult stuff. But getting anything more is impossible as he shutsoff, is worried about his future.
My Son is nearly 15 when he got the knock. He is due to appear in his gcse's next year. It's a waiting game for us like all of the families here. OIC has been very vague in their replies to us.
How has the Police handled the situation where Teenagers are involved. Did they involve the school, He still has 3 years ahead for his schooling.
I am no sure what I am looking for, May be some assurance because education is key part of rehabilitation.
I am another Mother of a teenager in this painful situtation. I have read messages on the forum but never gathered courage to post anything.
Since the knock the past has been blurry, depressed, trying to make sense of any of it and how we as family landed in this situation. Why it happened, what did we do
He has since been in his shell and very difficult to communicate of what has happened and how. He said he met some people online which shared pictures with him along with adult stuff. But getting anything more is impossible as he shutsoff, is worried about his future.
My Son is nearly 15 when he got the knock. He is due to appear in his gcse's next year. It's a waiting game for us like all of the families here. OIC has been very vague in their replies to us.
How has the Police handled the situation where Teenagers are involved. Did they involve the school, He still has 3 years ahead for his schooling.
I am no sure what I am looking for, May be some assurance because education is key part of rehabilitation.
Hi Distraught Mum
I am so sorry you find yourself here.
If you haven't already I would recommend you ring the helpline for help and support for you and your son. The young person in our family was only 16 when we received the knock and he was so traumatised by the police that he could not talk to us intially about what had happened online. He was able to signup to the Young Persons Inform Programme that Stop It Now run and was allocated a trained practitioner that he worked with one to one. This helped him to understand how he had ended up in this mess and at the same time educated him to online safety and the law. He was then in a better place to talk about what had happened to us. Maybe your son would consider doing the young persons inform course?
From our experience we felt the police did not care about our young person's wellbeing and were only interested in getting a conviction. We felt the long delays from the knock to youth court (over a year) was far too long for a young person to have to wait as it very much added to the stress and trauma for our young person and the family.
I hope this information helps a little and I am thinking of you and your son.
Take care x
I am so sorry you find yourself here.
If you haven't already I would recommend you ring the helpline for help and support for you and your son. The young person in our family was only 16 when we received the knock and he was so traumatised by the police that he could not talk to us intially about what had happened online. He was able to signup to the Young Persons Inform Programme that Stop It Now run and was allocated a trained practitioner that he worked with one to one. This helped him to understand how he had ended up in this mess and at the same time educated him to online safety and the law. He was then in a better place to talk about what had happened to us. Maybe your son would consider doing the young persons inform course?
From our experience we felt the police did not care about our young person's wellbeing and were only interested in getting a conviction. We felt the long delays from the knock to youth court (over a year) was far too long for a young person to have to wait as it very much added to the stress and trauma for our young person and the family.
I hope this information helps a little and I am thinking of you and your son.
Take care x
Hi
We got the knock end of July and are totally in the dark to what our son is accused of. He's 16 but think it relates to a period he was 15. Police have told us nothing. We have just drawn conclusions from bits they said. I'm concerned for his mental health because he won't talk about anything.
We've found emails where he's reported items to snapchat and one did violate. He's a very anxious child who reports anything bad or wrong. Even reports people who list items twice on vinted. So this is total shock and we feel it could be school related. You would class him a prude. Embarrassed by anything sexual and also hates swearing.
Police don't care about their mental health. I sat in the interview. I waited in the police station knowing my child was all alone in a cell. It's heartbreaking. Then fact you have no timescale of when the nightmare will be over. I feel my son is an easy target. He answered all questions in the interview to best of his knowledge, fully cooporated.
Now he still won't sleep in his bed, won't talk about it. It's wrong that it takes so long for devices to be checked. I just pray it doesn't affect his A levels and that it's all cleared whilst still a child. Husband wants to put in a complaint to police for way it's been handled so far.
We got the knock end of July and are totally in the dark to what our son is accused of. He's 16 but think it relates to a period he was 15. Police have told us nothing. We have just drawn conclusions from bits they said. I'm concerned for his mental health because he won't talk about anything.
We've found emails where he's reported items to snapchat and one did violate. He's a very anxious child who reports anything bad or wrong. Even reports people who list items twice on vinted. So this is total shock and we feel it could be school related. You would class him a prude. Embarrassed by anything sexual and also hates swearing.
Police don't care about their mental health. I sat in the interview. I waited in the police station knowing my child was all alone in a cell. It's heartbreaking. Then fact you have no timescale of when the nightmare will be over. I feel my son is an easy target. He answered all questions in the interview to best of his knowledge, fully cooporated.
Now he still won't sleep in his bed, won't talk about it. It's wrong that it takes so long for devices to be checked. I just pray it doesn't affect his A levels and that it's all cleared whilst still a child. Husband wants to put in a complaint to police for way it's been handled so far.
Hi,
We are in a sinilar position here with 15 year old son.
I felt like a zombie for the first few weeks and I have never felt anxiety like this, the waiting is unbearable isn't it :-(
How long ago was your knock? Ours was 5 months ago now.
It hasn't affected his school so far, but this is something we worry about.
Hope you're okay xx
We are in a sinilar position here with 15 year old son.
I felt like a zombie for the first few weeks and I have never felt anxiety like this, the waiting is unbearable isn't it :-(
How long ago was your knock? Ours was 5 months ago now.
It hasn't affected his school so far, but this is something we worry about.
Hope you're okay xx
Hi,
Seems there are a few of us in this situation.
My son had just turned 14 when we received the knock, 13 when the incident happened.
Still waiting for any news, first interview was conducted at home the morning of the knock, we have heard nothing from them since, apart from when I called and they said he's low threat so bottom of the queue when it comes to phone being searched.
No information on process or anything.
Very long and drawn out, with no one being able to give guidance or information.. its very draining.
Seems there are a few of us in this situation.
My son had just turned 14 when we received the knock, 13 when the incident happened.
Still waiting for any news, first interview was conducted at home the morning of the knock, we have heard nothing from them since, apart from when I called and they said he's low threat so bottom of the queue when it comes to phone being searched.
No information on process or anything.
Very long and drawn out, with no one being able to give guidance or information.. its very draining.
Thanks All xx.
This forum is ray of hope, otherwise its a very lonely place to be. We got knock 8 months back and pain is excruciating, nothing like I ever felt in life.
There is another thread on the forum where I read that court has been considerate to let child finish studies https://get-help.stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends/family-and-friends-forum/topic/7722
I hope this is the case with most of our loved boys.
Obviosly they have done a mistake - but in my view the law needs overhaul, the eudcation on these kinds of offences is lacking. These offences are on rise for teenagers given the easy availability of the materials, but first offences need to be dealt much differently.
The moral aspect of it is wrong but kids minds are not mature to process all these issues and legally unless anyone is in this situation they cannot understand the legal minefield this is.
Sorry for emotional rant but I do hope that with the rise of these cases with younger children, the policy makers see this and deal first offences with Youth rehabilitation rather than use full force of law. I feel like these are easy targets for Police and court to prosecute.
This forum is ray of hope, otherwise its a very lonely place to be. We got knock 8 months back and pain is excruciating, nothing like I ever felt in life.
There is another thread on the forum where I read that court has been considerate to let child finish studies https://get-help.stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends/family-and-friends-forum/topic/7722
I hope this is the case with most of our loved boys.
Obviosly they have done a mistake - but in my view the law needs overhaul, the eudcation on these kinds of offences is lacking. These offences are on rise for teenagers given the easy availability of the materials, but first offences need to be dealt much differently.
The moral aspect of it is wrong but kids minds are not mature to process all these issues and legally unless anyone is in this situation they cannot understand the legal minefield this is.
Sorry for emotional rant but I do hope that with the rise of these cases with younger children, the policy makers see this and deal first offences with Youth rehabilitation rather than use full force of law. I feel like these are easy targets for Police and court to prosecute.
We got told these cases are happening more and more. I agree they need to be dealt with different because end of day they are still kids themselves.
I feel guilty for not protecting my son before and because we have no idea what he's accused of I feel I can't fully protect him now.
Today I've been feeling really anxious.
It's also wrong that their cases can be pushed back and others take priority. I also feel my son is easy target for them.
I feel guilty for not protecting my son before and because we have no idea what he's accused of I feel I can't fully protect him now.
Today I've been feeling really anxious.
It's also wrong that their cases can be pushed back and others take priority. I also feel my son is easy target for them.
I don't have any words of advice, just wanted you to know you are not alone. There are so many of us parents / our YP in this situation and it's a horrible club to be part of and I am too of the opinion that our YP are easy targets.
Please don't feel guilt that you are in this situation or blame yourself. There are plenty of us that didn't have the restrictions in place that we now do now. We weren't to know our children would somehow end up in this murky world, and it's no fault of anything you've done as a parent.
Keep talking and offloading on here. I've found therapy has also been very helpful as an outlet so maybe that could be something you look into? xx
Please don't feel guilt that you are in this situation or blame yourself. There are plenty of us that didn't have the restrictions in place that we now do now. We weren't to know our children would somehow end up in this murky world, and it's no fault of anything you've done as a parent.
Keep talking and offloading on here. I've found therapy has also been very helpful as an outlet so maybe that could be something you look into? xx
I would just like to say that from our experience we felt the police were awful throughout, and the long waits are just not acceptable for our young people. On the positive, once the young person in our family went to youth court and received a Referral Order, he was then able to work with the Youth Offending Team for a significant period of time on rehabilitation, volunteering and planning for their future. The work he done with the Youth Offending Team helped him get back on track with his life.
Stay strong everyone. You will all get through this, even if it does not feel like it at the moment.
Stay strong everyone. You will all get through this, even if it does not feel like it at the moment.
Hi ladies, this is scary, I have a teenager who is not my person and I can't imagine what you are all going through with your sons. I'm so sorry.
I have commented on a post like this before and it was taken the wrong way so sorry if my wording comes across wrong. I wonder what kind of things your sons are charged with? I thought that teens normally get a telling off because they are underage?
I was under the impression that images are spread around between teenagers daily. I heard this as the police visited my childrens school to give a talk on the danger of sharing images of themselves or friends etc online and they said it is absolutely out of control in schools. 2 children in my area had police involvement because of images.
So I'm wondering why some children are charged and others are not? It's very confusing.
I have commented on a post like this before and it was taken the wrong way so sorry if my wording comes across wrong. I wonder what kind of things your sons are charged with? I thought that teens normally get a telling off because they are underage?
I was under the impression that images are spread around between teenagers daily. I heard this as the police visited my childrens school to give a talk on the danger of sharing images of themselves or friends etc online and they said it is absolutely out of control in schools. 2 children in my area had police involvement because of images.
So I'm wondering why some children are charged and others are not? It's very confusing.