Family and Friends Forum

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

33 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 12:11pmReport post

Finally after almost 3 years we have a court date and it literally couldn't be worse. Christmas Eve. Currently he is living away from the house but is able to see our daughter supervised at home so we had planned on Christmas dinner at home. Guess that won't be happening now! My girl is going to be heartbroken ????

Also not sure if any of you could advise, on the paperwork it states one of the charges as made indecent photographs. I Read made as made/taken them himself or does it mean something else.

sorry for the ramblings x

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

143 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 12:25pmReport post

Don't worry "made" or "making" doesn't mean he took them himself. It means they would have been downloaded to a cache or viewed and then deleted from the device. So the image is no longer accessible on his device but it was "copied" at some point. It's how they can charge you when they cannot prove "possession" (i.e. it is still in a place your person could access it and have control over the image).

"Taking" and "producing" are the terms used when the person is creating new indecent images themselves.

That's a ridiculously long wait and a silly date to have a court appearance on. I am so sorry. But I hope you can both move past this ordeal soon.

Edited Fri November 15, 2024 3:39pm

EllBee

Member since
April 2022

148 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 1:05pmReport post

We are similar timescales to you Livvy, it's coming up to 3 years for us too so I completely understand how you must be feeling. Can't believe the court date is Christmas Eve, that is not good. (Polite version of how I feel!) I can understand the frustration after so long. But at least you are a step closer to it all being behind you. Keep us posted as to how you get on. Hugs to you!

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

33 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 1:16pmReport post

Thank you for explaining that @losingit we both read that and were like what the!!
I just want it to be over with now x

Thank you EllBee, it's a crazy long time isn't it? Just feel like my daughter and I are being punished to. I hope things come to an end soon for you to x

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

143 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 3:41pmReport post

We are not even 3-months in yet and really struggling mentally. If it goes 2-3 years I am going to be a husk of a person. Can I ask why yours took so long, is it just the time it took to check the devices?

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

33 posts

Posted Fri November 15, 2024 3:58pmReport post

No idea why it has taken so long, just sheer amount they have had to deal with I think.
He gave them passwords and cooperated so wouldn't have thought it was device checks. The police officer in charge left last year and I think the new one having to go through everything again slowed things down.

It certainly is like a rollercoaster and I've had a couple of major wobbles on this journey. Someone I know, got the knock after us and her person has already been to court and charged, all in a far quicker time frame. I'm wondering if it depends on severity of charges.

Edited Fri November 15, 2024 3:59pm

EllBee

Member since
April 2022

148 posts

Posted Sat November 16, 2024 8:55amReport post

This certainly isn't the rule, as there are definitely exceptions, but it seems to me that if your person is not deemed as high risk, you just keep getting thrown to the bottom of the pile. For us I have no idea why it's taking so long either, but what I do know is that I have got used to the wait, and for me it's no where near as bad as in that first year when my anxiety was off the charts. It has become the new normal to have it on the back burner.

Numb and scared

Member since
May 2023

21 posts

Posted Sat November 16, 2024 12:12pmReport post

Just a thought..... Wondering if court date on Christmas Eve might have its advantages.... less chance of press or vigilantes being there? We're expecting a court date any day now.... the waiting is horrendous, just want it all over with. Feel so sorry for those of you with young families at Christmas with all this hanging over us.

Flower

Member since
February 2023

111 posts

Posted Sun November 17, 2024 7:23amReport post

I am sorry 3 years is such a long time to wait.

I hope your partner avoids a custodial sentence and tabloid press exposure. Fingers crossed for SHPO to not have any in-person restrictions relating to own children.

In hindsight it may be a wonderful Christmas gift. You can move forward and have it all behind you. Not another Christmas waiting for it, done.

Good luck.