Another "surprising" delay
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I honestly thought I'd be getting somewhere this week, but yet again, no joy.
Both my OH and I had assessments booked for us that were meant to be the end of this week, only to JUST find out they've been cancelled and looking for a new date. I've explained to my SW that I physically cannot take time off during the week and my OH used the last of his holiday for this assessment only for it to be cancelled near enough at the very last second.
I get things happen, but I've always felt from day one that SS side of things really don't care about the parents, especially non offending parents, they know how bad this wait is affecting me mentally/emotionally and every other way under the sun. It's not the 1st time things have been cancelled last second and I very much doubt it'll be the last. We were promised before christmas, but who knows at this rate as we've been waiting for these assessments for nearly 4-5 months now.
Sorry just really needed to rant about this x
Both my OH and I had assessments booked for us that were meant to be the end of this week, only to JUST find out they've been cancelled and looking for a new date. I've explained to my SW that I physically cannot take time off during the week and my OH used the last of his holiday for this assessment only for it to be cancelled near enough at the very last second.
I get things happen, but I've always felt from day one that SS side of things really don't care about the parents, especially non offending parents, they know how bad this wait is affecting me mentally/emotionally and every other way under the sun. It's not the 1st time things have been cancelled last second and I very much doubt it'll be the last. We were promised before christmas, but who knows at this rate as we've been waiting for these assessments for nearly 4-5 months now.
Sorry just really needed to rant about this x
Trying x
I cannot even begin to understand how difficult this journey is for you all
For me it's my son who offended, but I can totally empathise the last minute cancellations
I don't have any advice on SS but I know there are some amazing ladies who can give you some advice x
I couldn't read your post without letting you know that we are here for you xx
I cannot even begin to understand how difficult this journey is for you all
For me it's my son who offended, but I can totally empathise the last minute cancellations
I don't have any advice on SS but I know there are some amazing ladies who can give you some advice x
I couldn't read your post without letting you know that we are here for you xx
Hi, I'm so sorry this is happening. Can I please ask what assessment your waiting for?
After social agreeing for my husband to move home he lived here 6 months, got a new probation worker (they never got on) he put in a safety concern about my husband so social services have made him leave home again. They have Said they're completely assessments and would get in contact within the next 5 days, this was 2 weeks ago. I just want them to assess me so that I can supervise contact but all calls and texts are being ignored. I know they're going to have to assess whether I can supervise or not I was just hoping it would be a simple chat? Is that not the case? Am I being stupidly neive? I was juat hoping for a semi-normal Christmas ????
After social agreeing for my husband to move home he lived here 6 months, got a new probation worker (they never got on) he put in a safety concern about my husband so social services have made him leave home again. They have Said they're completely assessments and would get in contact within the next 5 days, this was 2 weeks ago. I just want them to assess me so that I can supervise contact but all calls and texts are being ignored. I know they're going to have to assess whether I can supervise or not I was just hoping it would be a simple chat? Is that not the case? Am I being stupidly neive? I was juat hoping for a semi-normal Christmas ????
Thanks,
Basicly I'm waiting for a protective parenting assessment and my OH is waiting for an indepentant risk assessement, honestly with my one I would've paid for my own months ago if I knew this was the way they were going to go but I've also been told that if it's not something that SS have arranged then they might just say it isn't good enough but who knows.
At the moment my OH cannot live with us and we have to be supervised by my parents both in an out of the home and while it's doable and better than my OH not being able to see his child at all it's been incredibly draining to the point where our relationship is near enough non existant, we can't have private conversations, can't really act like a couple and can't even go out for a walk together with our child without my parents there.
It was like this for us last christmas, for us it wasn't too bad as we'd normally spend christmas with my parents anyway but it was horrible to have to say goodbye to him at the end of the day and I don't know how it affects him not being able to see our child wake up first thing on christmas day.
I honestly don't know what the assessment is like, I've tried researching it and to me it does sound like a chat but then it can last for hours so I really don't know what to expect.
One part of me just wants to get it over with but the other side is dreading it, like what if they don't think I'm a protective parent, will they go ahead with court? I hate to think about it, it's not fair xx
Basicly I'm waiting for a protective parenting assessment and my OH is waiting for an indepentant risk assessement, honestly with my one I would've paid for my own months ago if I knew this was the way they were going to go but I've also been told that if it's not something that SS have arranged then they might just say it isn't good enough but who knows.
At the moment my OH cannot live with us and we have to be supervised by my parents both in an out of the home and while it's doable and better than my OH not being able to see his child at all it's been incredibly draining to the point where our relationship is near enough non existant, we can't have private conversations, can't really act like a couple and can't even go out for a walk together with our child without my parents there.
It was like this for us last christmas, for us it wasn't too bad as we'd normally spend christmas with my parents anyway but it was horrible to have to say goodbye to him at the end of the day and I don't know how it affects him not being able to see our child wake up first thing on christmas day.
I honestly don't know what the assessment is like, I've tried researching it and to me it does sound like a chat but then it can last for hours so I really don't know what to expect.
One part of me just wants to get it over with but the other side is dreading it, like what if they don't think I'm a protective parent, will they go ahead with court? I hate to think about it, it's not fair xx
We have experienced a last minute cancellation as well so I completely understand your frustration and upset. It's pushed our court date by 12 weeks, and cancelled Christmas for us, but are now done.
The assessments are carried out by experts (all CVs vary but mostly clinical psychologists at least) They analyse yourselves, your childhoods, relationships, your learned behaviour and coping strategies. There is nothing you can research or study for that part. Be yourself and engage. Be prepared to talk about past and present relationships knowing it will be reported and many people will read it but have to engage.
No two assesments are the same as when instructed the assessor is given a set of questions to explore unique to the family's circumstances. I should think anyone having a protective parenting assesment must educate themselves about all types of child abuse, signs, and action a protective parent must take.
The assessments are carried out by experts (all CVs vary but mostly clinical psychologists at least) They analyse yourselves, your childhoods, relationships, your learned behaviour and coping strategies. There is nothing you can research or study for that part. Be yourself and engage. Be prepared to talk about past and present relationships knowing it will be reported and many people will read it but have to engage.
No two assesments are the same as when instructed the assessor is given a set of questions to explore unique to the family's circumstances. I should think anyone having a protective parenting assesment must educate themselves about all types of child abuse, signs, and action a protective parent must take.
I feel your pain tryingtokeephope
were in the same boat different storm. I'm waiting for a capacity assessment to be completed so I can supervise. We never have been allowed unsupervised and he doesn't live in the family home. We've separated as there no point and trying to keep a relationship was too much pressure on me. The assessment has so far involved 6 sessions about 2hrs each, a week or fortnight apart week with me, one with my partner and I've had to chase up to get penultimate one where they see my child (then after that there may be one additional one with me). This process started in August. I only want it so I can supervise Xmas morning so dad can be there to watch little one open Xmas presents without having to get the rest of the family network up out of bed and dragged away from their own homes on Xmas morning.
he's not had any type of assessment done, I get the impression this will be done only if or when he's charged. Thankfully my work have been really supportive and I have flexibility to work from home and my colleagues know my situation so will help by covering my work if I have to drop it last minute to fit around social services short notice changes. But it is frustrating and leaves you on edge. I understand they're busy and things crop up but it just seems to be everything is last minute and subject to sudden unexplained cancellation but no flexibility the other way.
my person has struggled to stay in work and is on his 3rd job since this started. He didn't work with kids and not been charged yet but the process has meant he had to leave jobs because of their own policies at milestones like arrest etc. he can't take time off during the work day due to the type of job he's got (and the type he can now keep) and hasnt worked there long enough for holidays so monthly family network meetings with SS are tricky. He usually has to FaceTime one of us whilst he's on his lunch at work just so he can make part of the meeting.
the last thing we all need is to try to juggle keeping our jobs, when there's already so much stress going on. Sometimes I don't think they realise that as the non-offending parent we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. We need to keep our income but also need to comply with non-work friendly processes that we desperately trying to follow.
were in the same boat different storm. I'm waiting for a capacity assessment to be completed so I can supervise. We never have been allowed unsupervised and he doesn't live in the family home. We've separated as there no point and trying to keep a relationship was too much pressure on me. The assessment has so far involved 6 sessions about 2hrs each, a week or fortnight apart week with me, one with my partner and I've had to chase up to get penultimate one where they see my child (then after that there may be one additional one with me). This process started in August. I only want it so I can supervise Xmas morning so dad can be there to watch little one open Xmas presents without having to get the rest of the family network up out of bed and dragged away from their own homes on Xmas morning.
he's not had any type of assessment done, I get the impression this will be done only if or when he's charged. Thankfully my work have been really supportive and I have flexibility to work from home and my colleagues know my situation so will help by covering my work if I have to drop it last minute to fit around social services short notice changes. But it is frustrating and leaves you on edge. I understand they're busy and things crop up but it just seems to be everything is last minute and subject to sudden unexplained cancellation but no flexibility the other way.
my person has struggled to stay in work and is on his 3rd job since this started. He didn't work with kids and not been charged yet but the process has meant he had to leave jobs because of their own policies at milestones like arrest etc. he can't take time off during the work day due to the type of job he's got (and the type he can now keep) and hasnt worked there long enough for holidays so monthly family network meetings with SS are tricky. He usually has to FaceTime one of us whilst he's on his lunch at work just so he can make part of the meeting.
the last thing we all need is to try to juggle keeping our jobs, when there's already so much stress going on. Sometimes I don't think they realise that as the non-offending parent we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. We need to keep our income but also need to comply with non-work friendly processes that we desperately trying to follow.