Leaving him behind
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Hello it's been three years since the knock for me. It took 11months to get to court. Just wondering how many decided to leave.
I did for the safety of my children and the fact I saw it as a betrayal.
I did for the safety of my children and the fact I saw it as a betrayal.
I left initially and we remain living apart, four years post knock. We decided to work on our relationship. I've done a lot of research on offending, we've both done LFF courses, had therapy (he remains in therapy but less often now), we've had some incredibly challenging conversations but I think open communication is key in this situation.
My reasons for leaving were the betrayal, the wellbeing of myself and my children and the possibility that he is attracted to children. The research I've done suggests that very few men are actually attracted to children. Myself and the children (only 1 is still a child) are doing well. The betrayal is something I'm still working on, his communication offence was in the press so I have shame in the knowledge that people know but I also know that as much as others will have an opinion nobody truly knows what they would do in this situation xxx
My reasons for leaving were the betrayal, the wellbeing of myself and my children and the possibility that he is attracted to children. The research I've done suggests that very few men are actually attracted to children. Myself and the children (only 1 is still a child) are doing well. The betrayal is something I'm still working on, his communication offence was in the press so I have shame in the knowledge that people know but I also know that as much as others will have an opinion nobody truly knows what they would do in this situation xxx
The moment I found out I knew I would never have the same relationship with the ex. I was aware from the start is wasn't accidental downloads and specifically sought out images. I felt disgusted, betrayed, a cover story, sad, would never trust I'm around our child,guilt, abused, used, a fool, embarrassed and the rest!
Over a year later it just seems to get worse what I Find out from his relatives and police. he has shown zero interest in trying to repair or even offer closure on our 16year relationship (which iGuess is a blessing as he was very manipulative and I havent had to deal with that).
Hopefully once court is over I no longer have to see/speak to him ever again and hope to move on as life is currently on pause/limbo desperate for any pinch of closure.
I have zero doubts at ending the relationship after what he has done (and how he continues to deal with it).
Every one has a unique journey and outcome x
Over a year later it just seems to get worse what I Find out from his relatives and police. he has shown zero interest in trying to repair or even offer closure on our 16year relationship (which iGuess is a blessing as he was very manipulative and I havent had to deal with that).
Hopefully once court is over I no longer have to see/speak to him ever again and hope to move on as life is currently on pause/limbo desperate for any pinch of closure.
I have zero doubts at ending the relationship after what he has done (and how he continues to deal with it).
Every one has a unique journey and outcome x
I can't say much as the investigation is still ongoing. What I was told was to not make any big decisions until we had an outcome. My first instinct was to leave him but I was reminded of a few things. One I could leave and he could have charges dropped or be found not guilty. The other thing was something that the police said over and over on the day which I can't mention of course.
each case is different and has to be right for you and your children
each case is different and has to be right for you and your children
I left.
Regardless of what the legal outcome ill be I know what he has done (and what he has tried to cover up for years) and I didn't feel it it safe for my children to stay with him.
Those who left because of the children's safety, have you been able to stop your person from having custody? I'm terrified that by leaving he's actually going to get more access to them than when I was there to keep an eye on things.
Regardless of what the legal outcome ill be I know what he has done (and what he has tried to cover up for years) and I didn't feel it it safe for my children to stay with him.
Those who left because of the children's safety, have you been able to stop your person from having custody? I'm terrified that by leaving he's actually going to get more access to them than when I was there to keep an eye on things.