How to tell my son
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Hi everyone,
18 years ago, I had 'the knock' 10weeks after I had my son. After the horrific fall out, including domestic abuse, 12 months later I decided that I could no longer have my sons father in our lives. I was traumatised for many years and diagnosed with PTSD. I have never reached out for any support but now my son is turning 18 and he is telling me he wants to find his father. He doesn't know anything about what happened and I don't know what to do. His father was diagnosed with a personality disorder, narcissistic, placed on the SO register and i honestly believe my son would have suffered greatly if he had been in his life. What do I do? Do I tell him? If so, how? I'm terrified that his father will destroy his life, I'm also terrified of facing my abuser and effectively letting the devil back into our lives. Any advice is much appreciated
18 years ago, I had 'the knock' 10weeks after I had my son. After the horrific fall out, including domestic abuse, 12 months later I decided that I could no longer have my sons father in our lives. I was traumatised for many years and diagnosed with PTSD. I have never reached out for any support but now my son is turning 18 and he is telling me he wants to find his father. He doesn't know anything about what happened and I don't know what to do. His father was diagnosed with a personality disorder, narcissistic, placed on the SO register and i honestly believe my son would have suffered greatly if he had been in his life. What do I do? Do I tell him? If so, how? I'm terrified that his father will destroy his life, I'm also terrified of facing my abuser and effectively letting the devil back into our lives. Any advice is much appreciated
Hi,
you should tell your son and also tell him about the abuse you suffered. I'd explain that you made the decision to cut all ties so you'd both be safe and be able to have a more stable, normal life. Give him the information to make an informed decision. If he still wants to find his father then maybe discuss rules that should be put in place, only meeting in public places and not to give him your address or contact details. As much as you can try to stay neutral, give facts rather than emotions xxx
you should tell your son and also tell him about the abuse you suffered. I'd explain that you made the decision to cut all ties so you'd both be safe and be able to have a more stable, normal life. Give him the information to make an informed decision. If he still wants to find his father then maybe discuss rules that should be put in place, only meeting in public places and not to give him your address or contact details. As much as you can try to stay neutral, give facts rather than emotions xxx