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Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2596 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 4:12amReport post

Hubby and I had a long chat last night about how much the use of phones/I pads etc have took over our lives and the danger it creates for so many people.

it is a platform of communication we are all guilty of loving (I'm using it right now) admit I love it and I'm a pensioner, I keep in touch with family and friends, find information I need, enjoy photos I send & receive, play the odd game. I spend a whole £70 a month on it, which I don't begrudge. So yes I'm complicit.

But there's a terrible price to pay for a lot of people (we all know that for sure on the forum). It's human nature to be curious and despite all the 'locks' we put on our kids devices to try to keep them safe, as they grow older - in a social circle - the horrors of social media raises its fearful head. As teenagers again curiousity, banter, vulnerability it's so easy to lead on to inappropriate material - land themselves into trouble for the rest of their lives. I fear for my grandchildren.

Everywhere you go - bus, shopping, pub/coffee shop, park, sport events everyone seems to have a phone in their hand. Your child is perhaps in their bedroom looking at God knows what, parents downstairs doing exactly the same.

it saddens me to think there's no answer to this... no doubt with ongoing technology it'll get worse. Its also killing the art of face to face conversation, people don't share a 'good morning' or a smile when passing each other on the street. They are locked in their devices with earplugs!

sorry to go on, i just fully see now, although not a child, how my son got in trouble and the root of it all was the internet through his various devices and the wrong choices he made while using them.

rant over x

Edited Wed November 27, 2024 4:52am

JustAboutHoldingItTogether

Member since
August 2024

23 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 7:48amReport post

I agree. Having the entire Internet in our pockets has been detrimental to society as a whole.

I think we are only just beginning to see the fallout of unlimited internet acess, especially the results of allowing children's undeveloped brains access to it. The way it changes how their brains are wired is only just beginning to be realised.

I hope it is not too late to change things but I fear it is.

Lostandalone

Member since
September 2024

30 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 8:15amReport post

Totally agree. It's like I was always aware of the dangers of the internet but till they are there presented to your face you truly start to realise. It's made me go over the Internet safety and security and effects with my child.
With my person, he's stopped doom scrolling and removed himself from lots of the internet and has commented how much clearer he thinks and how much better he feels in general. Hopefully that's a change for good!

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

461 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 8:16amReport post

I totally agree - my son probably wouldn't have offended if he'd had to go out buying magazines or ordering videos but as he works in IT he is staring at the internet all day so it has become his main way of communicating.

Our grandson is only just 12 but has already told us that his tutor group (29 other 12 year olds) has a Whatsapp group for arranging social events and banter which I know they are officially too young for so no idea how it was set up apart from lying about their age. I asked GS if his tutor had set it up thinkning maybe there was a special safe mode via the school with the tutor administrating it but apparently not and I debated telling the tutor about it but our GS (who definitely isn't part of the group and says he's not bothered - yet) was horrified about me doing that but I'm still thinking about it......I'm sure that to most parents and carers it's harmless and beneficial but as we all know it's not and people find that out the hard way.

My OH is Australian and our daughters are living out there at the moment. The Aussie Government is trying to pass a bill prohibiting many social media sites for under 16s. In my opinion that is so wise and brave to ignore the obvious protests from the 'big money' organisations behind the sites who couldn't give a toss about our children.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2596 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 9:23amReport post

As the hubby calls it addictive American plastic!

My son would definately not be in prison now if there was no internet...... I'm sure of that!

the Australians have the right idea.....

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1043 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 10:56amReport post

Something that I have observed in the younger generation is that the instant dopamine hits from technology is creating many issues for them. There isn't the joy and pride felt by competing a task, no joy in nature for some as they can't shake that need to be attached to a screen to get their fix.
The imaginative play of toddlers and young children is replaced with a screen. Instead of exploring with friends, riding bikes, swimming and building dens pre teens are often indoors on a tablet or in front of the TV. Teenagers can't go home at the end of the day and be free from disagreements with friends or bullying as technology allows that to follow them to their safe space. They are bombarded, as we are as adults with snippets of people's "perfect" lives, unrealistic body image, pornography, violence and negativity.
I dread to think what horrors await future generations and how many life skills we as humans are losing due to our reliance on technology. Apologies for the rant xx

PrairieMom

Member since
May 2024

81 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 5:42pmReport post

I agree with everything you've said. The device use is out of control for children and adults alike.

The schools have implemented phone rules this year and I am so grateful for that. Children up to grade 8 put their phones in a basket until the end of the day. No more phones at recess and lunch.

My husband hasn't had a phone for the last year and he says it was hard at first but now he likes it. He gets more done and is present. I struggle now with my own phone use!

I don't know the answer, just that I agree with you all and sympathize.

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

40 posts

Posted Wed November 27, 2024 11:44pmReport post

I feel my 16 yr old would not be in this position if it wasn't for Internet. I've said before we've no idea exactly what he's accused of.

We know he reported something on snapchat and they accepted it violated. We know he's clicked on pop ups on websites for video games/music and that led him to something but not intentionally. He would never had snapchat if it wasn't for school drama class.

I currently have settings in place for age 13yrs to try protect him and his brother. My 16yr old is very embarrassed by anything sexual. We just wish we knew what exactly they are accusing him of.

The knock was 4 months ago and he's constantly on edge when a knock at door or phone rings. And still not sleeping in his bed.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2596 posts

Posted Thu November 28, 2024 4:15amReport post

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has love hate relationship with their phone etc.

I got rid of Facebook when my son was 'found out', I admit at times I do miss it but it's one less potential threat of upset on my tightrope of life......

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

148 posts

Posted Thu November 28, 2024 10:36amReport post

Totally agree.

We've come to rely on internet access in our hands. But there's not the warnings or security and safety in place to stop people doing things they shouldn't. It's solely relying on the users knowledge and conscience. Just look how rife online bullying is for kids.

After the knock my persons phone was taken in evidence and they used a basic brick phone borrowed from a relative. However everyday things they couldn't do...banking, parking (required an app), making a GP appointment (also required doing this online), all the therapy and courses are on teams/skype etc, even our safety plan involves using WhatsApp to update who is supervising access when (that was suggested by social worker). Their job at work requires them to authenticate to login (an ap on your personal phone), you have to clock in and request work holidays on a smartphone.

So to function in society they had to get a new one. It's madness!

Lostandalone

Member since
September 2024

30 posts

Posted Thu November 28, 2024 6:46pmReport post

I was just watching the news and apparently Australia has banned social media for under 16s today, to come into effect next year. Would love to see us follow suit.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2596 posts

Posted Thu November 28, 2024 8:19pmReport post

We haven't got enough guts!

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

392 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2024 11:07amReport post

The online safety bill will introduce age verification here, from next year. That will make some difference, particularly for younger children.