Family and Friends Forum

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2019 7:23pmReport post

What does being on the sir actually entail in a practical sense? Not allowed alone with children even his own? What about holidays etc? Advice appreciated whilst I decide our future x

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2019 8:01pmReport post

Hi Partner...

My husband is on the SOR... its very complexed and very detailed as to what he can do... where he can stay and visit. Like you I was unsure what it actually entailed so I researched the facts using the hub.unlock org site.

He will be given a written notice which he must sign as having understood the contentsa copy will be kept by police and another given to him. The notice details in paragraphs what he must comply with... First and within 3 days he must attend a police station in person and provide details of his address, passport, bank details, credit cards, etc. He maybe further photographed, specifically any tattoos, scars or unusual features on his body. This is done for intelligence purposes. His driving licence and passport must be presented for police to see and photocopy.

Any holidays out of the UK must be reported prior to departure with full destination.. flight numbers, air line and hotel information. This it to prevent sexual tourism.

The police will notify customs and boarder officials of the intended travel. I have been told the automatic gates at airports will reject his entry/exit whilst on the SOR to allow physical questioning by boarder staff...

Finally he must notify police if he stays at any address in the UK for more than 3 occasions or if it amounts to 7 days. He must also not remain at any addres for more than 12 hours where a person under 18 is present. If he does he must disclose his offence to the household...

A bit jumbled but I hope it helps... My personal opinion is its very draconian but he's caused it and will have to abide by the rules for the next 5 years...

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2019 8:06pmReport post

Forgot to say... Forget any holidays to America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand... They have a zero tolerance to sex offenders and will not grant a visa. From what I've read... Not now... Not ever.

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2019 8:31pmReport post

Snowdrop it sounds so hard. Do you have children? How does it affect things like holidays? Must it be adult only? So many questions. So hard this process. Thank you for your answer.

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Fri November 29, 2019 9:03pmReport post

Hi Partner

My children are all adults as are my husbands. His family and children have disowned him. He's had no contact whatsoever for 2 years now. I feel desperately sad for him but cannot change there minds or opinions they now hold.

As for holidays we haven't been over seas during the suspended sentence due to the fact it would not be sanctioned by probation. The law regarding overseas travel by offenders was charged recently by the Justice department following wide publicity in the press of 'alleged' offenders relaxing in the sun whilst still on license.

It extremely sad we will never now be able to visit America and Australia... etc so many cruises either begin or end at these countries and his conviction means they will always have to be discounted. On a bright note... Europe and the Middle East is OK to visit...

We have a holiday booked next year. Our first since this nightmare started.. He has already given the police full details... itinerary... hotel... flights etc. He expects to be stopped and questioned at the airport...

Finally depending on how serious the offenders offence was the Police can sometimes send a 'green' notice to other countries warning them of the offender... I have read that if this happens they are normally detained on arrival and returned to where they travelled from on the next flight....

Best wishes.. Its tough... Sending you hugs..

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sat November 30, 2019 9:08amReport post

Wow.

As a couple who loved holidays, worked hard for them, weekend breaks away, this would all change? He couldn't be near my kids or be in my house without social services involvement in my life. I'm assuming he's not allowed to see his daughter alone? This is huge. Mines my ex partner. I haven't seen him since his arrest. However, I love him. I've no idea what he's alleged to have done. Except it involves Twitter so assuming communications. Or maybe photo sharing? I absolutely have no idea. I haven't seen him.since. I love him. Just unsure whether to deal with the fact our relationship is over or open the can of worms and reconnect. It's the facts of whether a relationship is possible moving forward I suppose. He is still under investigation so goodness knows what will happen. I do know his world will implode when it goes public. My heart breaks for him, breaks for us as a couple, breaks for me as I miss and love him, but, I still don't know if he was a threat to my daughter.

mjl73

Member since
August 2019

240 posts

Posted Sat November 30, 2019 10:25amReport post

Hi Partner, as well as the SOR if convicted he may also get a Sexual Harm Prevention Order that contains additional conditions. These are personalised, but can limit internet access, contact with anyone under 16, exclusion areas etc. He'll also get regular visits from the police.



We've still to go on holiday since this happened. I'm less bothered about going abroad, but we did use to go away for long weekends a lot in this country. Hopefully next year things will have settled down enough that we'll go away if only for a few days.

Rainbow

Member since
January 2019

282 posts

Posted Mon December 2, 2019 5:36pmReport post

I'm still confused with what my husband can or cant do. I rang the court but they were quite rude just saying only restrictions are what is on the order. So my husband's doesnt mention anything about not being able to be with children under 16 so does that mean he can be? It just says about technology and not install apps etc and will be checked by police regularly however the last time his phone was checked was april so am I assuming they dont think hes high risk? Shame ss aren't of the same view!

mjl73

Member since
August 2019

240 posts

Posted Mon December 2, 2019 6:03pmReport post

Hi Rainbow, I would contact either your husbands probation officier or his police risk manager, both of those should be able to explain it all to you. I had a bunch of questions to try and understand exactly what each of the conditions meant and asked them when the police did a home visit.

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Mon December 2, 2019 6:20pmReport post

Hello Rainbow...

Just read your query and before I answered thought I would read the copy of my husband's SOR policy... It covers the jurisdictions of England and Wales so if u live in Scotland there policy may be different.

It clearly states that if he resides or stays at any premises where a person is under 18 for 12 hours or more he MUST attend at a police station within 3 days and notify them of the address where the child lives.

My partner has queried what would happen if he failed to comply... He was told by probation he would then be in breach of his suspended sentence which would be automatically activated and he would go yo prison

Can I add that this requirement is separate to any SHPO which will be drafted to cover his internet activity... mobile devices... travel etc. They can be also more draconian by adding conditions such as no access to under 16...no loitering near schools or play parks etc...

Hope this helps...

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Mon December 2, 2019 9:25pmReport post

Thanks for everyones honesty. I'm still praying for NFA but I'm preparing myself. I thank God daily for this forum and others in my position. A very unique club x

Rainbow

Member since
January 2019

282 posts

Posted Tue December 3, 2019 6:42amReport post

Thanks snowdrops. Yes he has given the police 2 addresses as he still visits us. His order doesnt mention about under 16 and I've never asked the question as I'm scared police will think I feel hes safe etc and will put my kids at risk. His probation officers keep leaving so hes had quite a few. I'm just to scared to ask questions to anyone as people will think I'm not putting my kids first but I am. It's all so confusing. That's why I rang the court x

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Tue December 3, 2019 7:35amReport post

Rainbow I know how you feel with being scared about being a risk in asking questions. Mine is still under investigation and as a result I have the investigating officers mobile. I don't know if I'm lucky but he has been brilliant with any questions. I've asked him every step of the way. I've gone from no contact to contact but I've spoken to the IO every step of the way to ensure anything I do is within legal guidelines and does not put my kids at risk. I have seen him but my kids won't. Ever. Sadly.

mjl73

Member since
August 2019

240 posts

Posted Tue December 3, 2019 12:39pmReport post

Hi snowdrop, if the order doesn't mention it then I wouldn't ask either. The advise we were given in the initial visit from the police was to be sensible, not put ourselves at risk, and don't put ourselves in the situation where people might ask questions why they hadn't been informed as they felt their children were at risk. People jump to the worse conclusions about these offences especially if the press have got hold of it. I guess in your situation I wouldn't be going out of my way for him to have regular contact with other children but at the same time occasional doesn't sound like it's an issue.

mjl73

Member since
August 2019

240 posts

Posted Tue December 3, 2019 12:40pmReport post

Sorry that was meant to be for Rainbow not snopdrop.

Class31

Member since
December 2019

20 posts

Posted Wed December 4, 2019 10:49pmReport post

Like living in the old East germany or other communist country.

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Thu December 5, 2019 12:03amReport post

Class31

Is that really necessary?

It's not helpful in anyway

This forum is about supporting each other through the most traumatic time not to make comments that are quite offensive!

Class31

Member since
December 2019

20 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2019 3:58pmReport post

But that is exactly what it is like.They act as if someone has been murdered and do not think about the harm they are doing to the children of alleged offenders.

Becky

Member since
May 2019

48 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2019 4:43pmReport post

Class 31 as far as I'm concerned as a parent of children who's father is an offender that you need to understand that the harm caused by them is down to the actions af the parent. If for the situation that the accused was found not guilty or nfa as a mother who is bound to protect her children I would be annoyed yes but understand the need for social services to be involved in this process. You sound like you have a huge bee in your bonnet and quite frankly you need to go and either vent in the right place or actually ask for help in understanding what ever has happened to you. This is a support forum for people who have been effected by this crime so please be a little bit more understanding that your comments are actually offensive to some people

lee1969

Member since
June 2019

3993 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2019 6:31pmReport post

Actually I say that if my husband had committed murder it would of been more acceptable and mine was very public!! Class31 if you want things to change then go to the right places as this isn't the place for your views!! This is a SUPPORT FORUM as in supporting each other through the most difficult times of our lives and the last thing we want to think about is anything else just getting through each day the best we can for our children. You are very vocal but extramely quiet about exactly what your situation is!! Now please show some RESPECT to the people here that just want support not have views shoved down their throats.