Struggling
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Hi all, first post from me, been reading all of your stories for a while.
I'm 4 months in to this hell. Husband is under investigation for iioc and police have so far found 3 cat A, 5 cat B on his phone. They haven't disclosed any ages, but my hubby says the content was from what he thought was a legitimate and legal porn site, that he has used for years.
Firstly, he feels absolutely disgusted about what he might have looked at by mistake and I do believe that he hasn't intentionally looked for it. The investigation continues, he hasn't been charged yet... but I think it's only a matter of time.
He is a broken man due to this ongoing investigation, he can't come home and is away from me, his daughter and our dogs - which is destroying him. We all miss him terribly and hope for the best outcome.
I'm trying to support him and my stepdaughter through all of this, but sometimes find the whole thing overwhelming. Trying to juggle work, looking after dogs and a 13 year old, plus find time to meet up with my husband.
It is taking its toll on us all mentally and financially (meeting up for meals out, paying two rents, etc). Does anyone have any words of encouragement at this point? Does it get easier?
Just feeling quite down today.
I'm 4 months in to this hell. Husband is under investigation for iioc and police have so far found 3 cat A, 5 cat B on his phone. They haven't disclosed any ages, but my hubby says the content was from what he thought was a legitimate and legal porn site, that he has used for years.
Firstly, he feels absolutely disgusted about what he might have looked at by mistake and I do believe that he hasn't intentionally looked for it. The investigation continues, he hasn't been charged yet... but I think it's only a matter of time.
He is a broken man due to this ongoing investigation, he can't come home and is away from me, his daughter and our dogs - which is destroying him. We all miss him terribly and hope for the best outcome.
I'm trying to support him and my stepdaughter through all of this, but sometimes find the whole thing overwhelming. Trying to juggle work, looking after dogs and a 13 year old, plus find time to meet up with my husband.
It is taking its toll on us all mentally and financially (meeting up for meals out, paying two rents, etc). Does anyone have any words of encouragement at this point? Does it get easier?
Just feeling quite down today.
Hi,
My husband was charged for having iioc on his computer, so I can relate to your situation. We don't have children but we do have a dog too.
We got kicked out of our flat when It came to light and ended up living with his parents in a 1 bed flat. Covid hit and we struggled living there for 11months until I could afford to pay for another flat. He lost his job. So it was just me earning.
I feel your struggles. Over time it does get easier. We are 5 months off him being off the register and it all being over.
Rather than going for meals, why don't you just go for a walk with the dog. Have you looked into him getting financial help while living away from you.
This forum saved my life as 2 ladies contacted me and we chatted at all hours. If I didn't have them I know I wouldn't be here now. If you need to chat/text at any time come onto the forum. Or if you wanted i could help support you through this. You could have my number or email address.
My husband was charged for having iioc on his computer, so I can relate to your situation. We don't have children but we do have a dog too.
We got kicked out of our flat when It came to light and ended up living with his parents in a 1 bed flat. Covid hit and we struggled living there for 11months until I could afford to pay for another flat. He lost his job. So it was just me earning.
I feel your struggles. Over time it does get easier. We are 5 months off him being off the register and it all being over.
Rather than going for meals, why don't you just go for a walk with the dog. Have you looked into him getting financial help while living away from you.
This forum saved my life as 2 ladies contacted me and we chatted at all hours. If I didn't have them I know I wouldn't be here now. If you need to chat/text at any time come onto the forum. Or if you wanted i could help support you through this. You could have my number or email address.
We are also 4 months into this horrendous journey. My person is my son. He has also had to move out as we have minors at home so I completely understand when you say about trying to juggle work, home, child as well as meet with your person, I am so tired, stressed, anxious and running on zero.
I've nothing really helpful to add, but sometimes knowing you are not the only person in this journey is a tiny slice of comfort.
I am so consumed by the thought that my son is going to have to plead guilty for something he never knew was on his devices. He will be labeled with all sorts and be made to sign SOR and possibly looking at a custodial sentence.
I am also grieving the lovely life we had prior to the knock and the plans we had made.
Sending you all my love x x
I've nothing really helpful to add, but sometimes knowing you are not the only person in this journey is a tiny slice of comfort.
I am so consumed by the thought that my son is going to have to plead guilty for something he never knew was on his devices. He will be labeled with all sorts and be made to sign SOR and possibly looking at a custodial sentence.
I am also grieving the lovely life we had prior to the knock and the plans we had made.
Sending you all my love x x
My advice to both of you is try not to grieve the life before. Try finding a new normal. It's a mega struggle i understand that. I feel your pain and frustration. It does get better I can reassure you of this.
Sending my love to both x
Sending my love to both x
First time post for me too, I just wanted to say you aren't alone I've really struggled this week too. I'm currently 3 months in with my person and everything I've read keeps telling me it gets a little easier as time goes on (I really hope its true!)
Like you I'm worried about the future and even though I'm trying not to grieve for the life I had its really hard not to think about how easy thing were just a few months ago.
I wish I could offer some words of wisdom but can't at the moment, but I've read some of the other comments on here and they have given some great advice. I just thought I'd offer some solidarity that you aren't alone.
Sending love xx
Like you I'm worried about the future and even though I'm trying not to grieve for the life I had its really hard not to think about how easy thing were just a few months ago.
I wish I could offer some words of wisdom but can't at the moment, but I've read some of the other comments on here and they have given some great advice. I just thought I'd offer some solidarity that you aren't alone.
Sending love xx
Thank you all for your kind words and yes it does help knowing you're not the only one going through this awful journey.
It is comforting to know that things will hopefully get easier and no matter what the outcome is, life does/will go on.
I'm so grateful for this forum and all the support that it provides.
Wishing you all the very best outcomes xx
It is comforting to know that things will hopefully get easier and no matter what the outcome is, life does/will go on.
I'm so grateful for this forum and all the support that it provides.
Wishing you all the very best outcomes xx