The knock
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The knock came in March this year. One day before our wedding anniversary. The children were getting ready for school when the knock happened. I was greeted by plain clothed officers, one of which said "don't worry no one has died. There is nothing to worry about" they then entered the flat. My OH was in the bathroom and the male officer pretty much dragged him out and into the living room. We were told why they were there and was told had I not answered they would have rammed the door open. We were read the caution, which took me by surprise. They explained everything. Then more officers arrived. They began to search the house (8 of them in total). My children (one in primary and one in high school) had their phones taken off them (one child is additional support needs and the phone was a distraction for the journey to school). They spoke to the kids separately and that only took 5 minutes of that.
Being a small flat the children heard absolutely everything. Two officers then escorted them to school.
I watched as my flat was searched. My underwear drawer was searched by a male officer and I felt violated. I know they had to look but I felt so uncomfortable. They left a mess and told me not to touch it until they came back later that day. They found the device, which wasn't hidden and they had missed on initial search). During the search one officer was talking to my husband and kept saying "have you accidentally come across images" the word accidentally was used at least 6 times. I thought ok it's been a horrible mistake. They left with my husband. I was left to watch as photos were taken of every room. Then I was alone and had to make calls to my parents to let them know and his parents. My dad came over right away. He sat with me for a few hours. Social worker came out to introduce herself then left and then the police were back to hand back mine and the kids phones. I tidied up in a daze.
ever since then when there is a knock at the door I feel sick and anxious. OH is back with us at the moment (court have said he must stay at this address) there is no court date so far and we have had no update other than they are waiting for the cyber report (content of his device). It's been 9 months since the knock but it feels like it's just happened.
Being a small flat the children heard absolutely everything. Two officers then escorted them to school.
I watched as my flat was searched. My underwear drawer was searched by a male officer and I felt violated. I know they had to look but I felt so uncomfortable. They left a mess and told me not to touch it until they came back later that day. They found the device, which wasn't hidden and they had missed on initial search). During the search one officer was talking to my husband and kept saying "have you accidentally come across images" the word accidentally was used at least 6 times. I thought ok it's been a horrible mistake. They left with my husband. I was left to watch as photos were taken of every room. Then I was alone and had to make calls to my parents to let them know and his parents. My dad came over right away. He sat with me for a few hours. Social worker came out to introduce herself then left and then the police were back to hand back mine and the kids phones. I tidied up in a daze.
ever since then when there is a knock at the door I feel sick and anxious. OH is back with us at the moment (court have said he must stay at this address) there is no court date so far and we have had no update other than they are waiting for the cyber report (content of his device). It's been 9 months since the knock but it feels like it's just happened.
It's so traumatising and the police are very often vile on the day. I'm so sorry this happened to you xx
Worried,
I so feel for you, I also experienced the search of our whole home, the police photographer photographing every room ("in case it features in any of the images we find" - dear god!) and the intrusive questions about whether we slept together (I remember pondering briefly at the time, "do they mean sleep together, or *sleep* together?), which side of the bed did I sleep on? (why was this relevant? Because they wanted to know whi the devices on the bedside tables belonged to...)
They were there for hours, and I remember cleaning the whole place after they left. I'd been embarrassed about the mess. We are not tidy people and there had been fairly messy, and I'd been embarrassed about that (and it being photographed looking like that) , but it had been reasonably clean - mainly I just wanted to cleanse our home of their presence.
I so feel for you, I also experienced the search of our whole home, the police photographer photographing every room ("in case it features in any of the images we find" - dear god!) and the intrusive questions about whether we slept together (I remember pondering briefly at the time, "do they mean sleep together, or *sleep* together?), which side of the bed did I sleep on? (why was this relevant? Because they wanted to know whi the devices on the bedside tables belonged to...)
They were there for hours, and I remember cleaning the whole place after they left. I'd been embarrassed about the mess. We are not tidy people and there had been fairly messy, and I'd been embarrassed about that (and it being photographed looking like that) , but it had been reasonably clean - mainly I just wanted to cleanse our home of their presence.
I never knew I could feel like this over someone being in my home. There was one officer who was so lovely. She spoke to me about football and stuff. Couldn't have been nicer but the others made me feel so uncomfortable and anxious. Like I was helping him hide something even though I had absolutely no clue. Social services also asked if I had any inclination that he was into such things. I was so angry because he hadn't gone looking for them or asked for them.
the inspector gave me her number and said any questions phone and she never once answered her phone.
Tidying up our room I felt heartbroken. We had been in the middle of decorating and the new bed was still in the box and the old one was at the recycling centre. They questioned where we slept as the room was "in such a state" yeah the paste table was out and ready to finish the wallpapering that morning.
I felt so judged and ridiculed
the inspector gave me her number and said any questions phone and she never once answered her phone.
Tidying up our room I felt heartbroken. We had been in the middle of decorating and the new bed was still in the box and the old one was at the recycling centre. They questioned where we slept as the room was "in such a state" yeah the paste table was out and ready to finish the wallpapering that morning.
I felt so judged and ridiculed
Reading some other people's experiences, I think I got away quite easily - once the 2 plain clothes had taken my hubby away I was left with one quite pleasant and seemingly understanding chap who went through all the paperwork while 3 others searched - yes they went though the bedroom, asked which my devices were, searched all the vehicles, shed etc. they left it tidy too.
It was only when one tried to open the box containing my father's ashes that I had to say something
It's the attitude of the OIC which stinks and makes him totally unapprochable. I get anxiety just thinking about it.
It was only when one tried to open the box containing my father's ashes that I had to say something
It's the attitude of the OIC which stinks and makes him totally unapprochable. I get anxiety just thinking about it.
Lostinthewoods, I had a similar experience. They even made my bed in the bedroom after they finished in there (my person was still asleep when the knock came. )
I had never thought of them taking photos, would they have to let you know if they did? I didn't see them do it but also I was in a bit of a daze and stunned by what was happening round me.
I had never thought of them taking photos, would they have to let you know if they did? I didn't see them do it but also I was in a bit of a daze and stunned by what was happening round me.
Find the lack of consistency of police approaches so strange. We only had one device taken but no paperwork, no warrant etc. Are they supposed to leave you with some?
Losingit
No warrant but a list of the devices taken and some bumph about helplines and charities available (StopSO/Lucy Faithful/Samaritans etc)
I only found the list several weeks after the knock - we are still flummoxed about a camera they took - we don't even know what camera it was!!! I have mine, he has his - I can only think it was an old broken one of my adult daughters which was in a cupboard in the study
There is no rhyme or reason to it.
No warrant but a list of the devices taken and some bumph about helplines and charities available (StopSO/Lucy Faithful/Samaritans etc)
I only found the list several weeks after the knock - we are still flummoxed about a camera they took - we don't even know what camera it was!!! I have mine, he has his - I can only think it was an old broken one of my adult daughters which was in a cupboard in the study
There is no rhyme or reason to it.
Hi, I went through the same thing. 4 hours they spent going through my entire home in front of 2 of my 4 children. X