Social Services AFTER sentencing (I am sorry for the long post but any help is much appreciated)
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Hello everyone
i havent been on here for quite a while now to focus on my mentality,
We had the knock last november and i can finally say that we are nearly at the end of the journey and we are back at crown court middle of January for my partners sentance. He was released on unconditial bail from both Magistrates and Crown court.
Now PPU officers have visitied him (hes currently living at his parents as part of a safety plan from social services) and told him not to go home until social services have had a chance to speak to us but he could come and spend time overnight etc with me as long as our children were there.
we were orginally on a CIN plan from November 2023 to January 2024 where the case was closed with a safety plan in place which we have stuck by despite how incredibly difficult it has been and the affect this has had on our children no words can describe it.
Now his PPU (purely due to having to sign the SOR but i do understand this is from this point on) made the referal to social services which we expected.
Today i recieved a call from Social services who at first sounded lovely until she asked me to confirm that the END goal was for him to be able to move back home. Now i understand this may not be straight away and it may be a staggered return but after 13 months in appreciating zoom calls and meeting out in public with me supervised , i think its only fair i start hoping that i can start supervising in our home that he has been away from all this time espeically with how cold it is outside and getting colder etc so when its too cold, its a weekend they dont see thier dad as we currently dont have a car.
Her tone suddenly changed when i confirmed what i wanted and that i wanted to work WITH them for our end goal. After this she asked me if i was okay to undergo a FULL assesment as the previous social worker we had who has now left had only done the assesment based on the allegation but now hes been charged and ready to be sentanced(although hes admitted it from the beginning) that we would need a full assessment and she would pass it on to a social worker to get in touch with me and him in a day or 2 to meet up to start the assesment. She then rang him with a whole different tone in a positive way, asked what his likely outcome was and as he works from home 9-5pm that "not to worry as they will work around him)
my children have just come home from school and told me a teacher has spoken to them about dad such as "do they see him", what do they do see him etc" and we are due to go to disneyland next week that has been approved by PPU etc and we are okay with social as long as hes not in the same room as the children (grandparents are also going).
Now they told me they had this chat this morning, however we didnt recieve the calls until this afternoon. Its shocked me that a teacher would talk to the children before we even had any calls from social services. No teacher has pulled me at pick up to inform me of anything (although i guess they dont have to). We dont have anything to hide and im appreciative that the children have other support but i feel really down with everything.
Does anyone have any positive stories in getting their person home?
Does anyone know what a Full assessment includes and on average how long it takes?
sorry for the long message but just when i thought i was coping, all the emotions from last year has suddenly hit me again?
Thank you in advance x
i havent been on here for quite a while now to focus on my mentality,
We had the knock last november and i can finally say that we are nearly at the end of the journey and we are back at crown court middle of January for my partners sentance. He was released on unconditial bail from both Magistrates and Crown court.
Now PPU officers have visitied him (hes currently living at his parents as part of a safety plan from social services) and told him not to go home until social services have had a chance to speak to us but he could come and spend time overnight etc with me as long as our children were there.
we were orginally on a CIN plan from November 2023 to January 2024 where the case was closed with a safety plan in place which we have stuck by despite how incredibly difficult it has been and the affect this has had on our children no words can describe it.
Now his PPU (purely due to having to sign the SOR but i do understand this is from this point on) made the referal to social services which we expected.
Today i recieved a call from Social services who at first sounded lovely until she asked me to confirm that the END goal was for him to be able to move back home. Now i understand this may not be straight away and it may be a staggered return but after 13 months in appreciating zoom calls and meeting out in public with me supervised , i think its only fair i start hoping that i can start supervising in our home that he has been away from all this time espeically with how cold it is outside and getting colder etc so when its too cold, its a weekend they dont see thier dad as we currently dont have a car.
Her tone suddenly changed when i confirmed what i wanted and that i wanted to work WITH them for our end goal. After this she asked me if i was okay to undergo a FULL assesment as the previous social worker we had who has now left had only done the assesment based on the allegation but now hes been charged and ready to be sentanced(although hes admitted it from the beginning) that we would need a full assessment and she would pass it on to a social worker to get in touch with me and him in a day or 2 to meet up to start the assesment. She then rang him with a whole different tone in a positive way, asked what his likely outcome was and as he works from home 9-5pm that "not to worry as they will work around him)
my children have just come home from school and told me a teacher has spoken to them about dad such as "do they see him", what do they do see him etc" and we are due to go to disneyland next week that has been approved by PPU etc and we are okay with social as long as hes not in the same room as the children (grandparents are also going).
Now they told me they had this chat this morning, however we didnt recieve the calls until this afternoon. Its shocked me that a teacher would talk to the children before we even had any calls from social services. No teacher has pulled me at pick up to inform me of anything (although i guess they dont have to). We dont have anything to hide and im appreciative that the children have other support but i feel really down with everything.
Does anyone have any positive stories in getting their person home?
Does anyone know what a Full assessment includes and on average how long it takes?
sorry for the long message but just when i thought i was coping, all the emotions from last year has suddenly hit me again?
Thank you in advance x
Also in addition i have done:
INFORM course
NSPCC Pants (even bought the book so we can keep revisiting it over again)
Talked to the children about Thier "safe people", not keeping secrets etc
Got back on my medication for my anxiety and recieve weekly therapy sessions for anxiety although they are coming to the end and have helped alot
Read through Parents Protect website and done online moduies
Spoken to Stop It Now Helpline
Changed Settings on broadband to the maximum protection
Written my own safety plan showing my understanding and capability to protect covering as many situations i can possibly think of
Recently have discovered the NSPCC have a new dinosaur (or its new to me) that connects to the Pantosarus and its called the Technosarus which i have talked about with my children about keeping safe online
INFORM course
NSPCC Pants (even bought the book so we can keep revisiting it over again)
Talked to the children about Thier "safe people", not keeping secrets etc
Got back on my medication for my anxiety and recieve weekly therapy sessions for anxiety although they are coming to the end and have helped alot
Read through Parents Protect website and done online moduies
Spoken to Stop It Now Helpline
Changed Settings on broadband to the maximum protection
Written my own safety plan showing my understanding and capability to protect covering as many situations i can possibly think of
Recently have discovered the NSPCC have a new dinosaur (or its new to me) that connects to the Pantosarus and its called the Technosarus which i have talked about with my children about keeping safe online
I have no advice, but I am in the exact same situation with them keep swapping and changing their mind about what the process is and they're going to start a protective parenting assessment on me. One conversation I feel like she's willing to help and the next it's like she's doing everything she can to keep us all apart and it's so frustrating. I am waiting to start the inform course currently but that's just a waiting game. Children have expressed how much they miss him and want him home but its just like banging my head on a brick wall. The children kept asking when he was coming home because they missed him so I said he did some terrible things when he was younger and so they just need to know he's not going to hurt you and I can keep you safe, told social services and then I was accused of "brain washing" the children into thinking its their fault he's not allowed home. I just feel like I can't do anything right but I'm hopeful that with Christmas coming tomorrow I can finally get some answers and an end goal. Although I'll not get my hopes up just yet haha. I'll let you know what she says to me about the assessment though!
There's a lot to unpick here and it's always tricky as I can't see your original post as I type this out so bear with me.
There are essentially two types of assessments a social worker can do.
1) an assessment under the Children Act 1989, which can take up to 45 working days. This can be done for child in need or child protection. This is what you had done before.
2) a parenting assessment, which does not have a legal framework behind it, and the timescales can vary.
I personally think that the first time around you had option 1, and I think that this time around they are also talking about option 1 but using different language.
I think the reason the SW is saying this will be a 'full' assessment is because they did a speedy job of assessment type 1 first time around, because there wasn't that much to assess as there were bail conditions in place, so they just did a quick 'this is the situation, this is the safety plan' type job and closed you down. They might have only done one or two visits and might have finished the assessment in 20 days.
This time, they probably want to take the full amount of time, do more visits - maybe 5 including trips to see the children - to understand more about your family, because this time they are properly assessing the safety aspect of your husband coming home, whereas last time they were checking the children were safe whilst he was out of the home - a lower risk situation in their eyes (this irritates me as it ignores the emotional harm of all the disruption but anyway, that's another story).
To find out, you can ask the social worker what part of the children act they are working under. If they say section 17 assessment, this means it is a 45 working day assessment under child in need. If they say section 47, it's the same thing but under child protection - but you should know this as they should have informed you about a strategy meeting and a potential child protection conference.
Child in need is technically voluntary, but as you want him home it's important to work with them as you've said you want to do.
The separate point is talking to your children without consent. This is not acceptable and you can certainly complain about this, and say you do not want your children spoken to about the topic without your explicit consent in advance. Explain this is important so that you are prepared for when they come home and tell you what's happened and you need to prepare how to handle those conversations. Sometimes professionals have the conversations without telling parents because they are worried the parent will 'coach' them in what to say, but legally they should be telling you, especially under the voluntary child in need legislation
We got my husband home around 3 or 4 months after sentencing, including a 6 week gradual reintroduction. About 2 months after this he had fully unsupervised and unrestricted contact
For context and full transparency I am a social worker in children's services :)
There are essentially two types of assessments a social worker can do.
1) an assessment under the Children Act 1989, which can take up to 45 working days. This can be done for child in need or child protection. This is what you had done before.
2) a parenting assessment, which does not have a legal framework behind it, and the timescales can vary.
I personally think that the first time around you had option 1, and I think that this time around they are also talking about option 1 but using different language.
I think the reason the SW is saying this will be a 'full' assessment is because they did a speedy job of assessment type 1 first time around, because there wasn't that much to assess as there were bail conditions in place, so they just did a quick 'this is the situation, this is the safety plan' type job and closed you down. They might have only done one or two visits and might have finished the assessment in 20 days.
This time, they probably want to take the full amount of time, do more visits - maybe 5 including trips to see the children - to understand more about your family, because this time they are properly assessing the safety aspect of your husband coming home, whereas last time they were checking the children were safe whilst he was out of the home - a lower risk situation in their eyes (this irritates me as it ignores the emotional harm of all the disruption but anyway, that's another story).
To find out, you can ask the social worker what part of the children act they are working under. If they say section 17 assessment, this means it is a 45 working day assessment under child in need. If they say section 47, it's the same thing but under child protection - but you should know this as they should have informed you about a strategy meeting and a potential child protection conference.
Child in need is technically voluntary, but as you want him home it's important to work with them as you've said you want to do.
The separate point is talking to your children without consent. This is not acceptable and you can certainly complain about this, and say you do not want your children spoken to about the topic without your explicit consent in advance. Explain this is important so that you are prepared for when they come home and tell you what's happened and you need to prepare how to handle those conversations. Sometimes professionals have the conversations without telling parents because they are worried the parent will 'coach' them in what to say, but legally they should be telling you, especially under the voluntary child in need legislation
We got my husband home around 3 or 4 months after sentencing, including a 6 week gradual reintroduction. About 2 months after this he had fully unsupervised and unrestricted contact
For context and full transparency I am a social worker in children's services :)
Hi Marema2233,
It is difficult to advise, as dealing with SS is a minefield. No two social workers are the same, no two authorities are the same, no two families are the same, much like our dealings with police/court/media it's part luck, part procedure.
It appears from the long list of courses you had taken, you have extensively educated yourself, which is great. All I could say is talk through what you've learnt with your social worker, it is possible they do not know the content of the course.
In this forum we are all in different stages, many have their children in CIN/CPP plan with eventual goal of moving husband back.
Unfortunately my experience has been nothing short of a nightmare as I had been issued care proceedings for wanting husband back home. Timeline for specialist risk assessments that also assess the non offending parent for protectiveness is about 6-9 months. The wheels move ever so slowly.
Good luck and reach out privately should you ever wish.
It is difficult to advise, as dealing with SS is a minefield. No two social workers are the same, no two authorities are the same, no two families are the same, much like our dealings with police/court/media it's part luck, part procedure.
It appears from the long list of courses you had taken, you have extensively educated yourself, which is great. All I could say is talk through what you've learnt with your social worker, it is possible they do not know the content of the course.
In this forum we are all in different stages, many have their children in CIN/CPP plan with eventual goal of moving husband back.
Unfortunately my experience has been nothing short of a nightmare as I had been issued care proceedings for wanting husband back home. Timeline for specialist risk assessments that also assess the non offending parent for protectiveness is about 6-9 months. The wheels move ever so slowly.
Good luck and reach out privately should you ever wish.
Hi,
My OH offended in 2016 and 2019.
We had a little girl together in 2022. She was removed at birth by social services. However was returned earlier this year and we live seperatly currently.
My partner and I have a year saftey plan with social services for my OH moving back home with me and my daughter. He's started having overnights due to her birthday and Christmas and spends most days seeing us at home etc.
It was a long road and we still have a little way to go but I hope this would give you some positivity that it is possible to live together again :)
He's allowed unsupervised contact as well as long as he doesn't do personal care (so has to bring her back if needs changing etc or have someone who can change her with him)
Skysie98
My OH offended in 2016 and 2019.
We had a little girl together in 2022. She was removed at birth by social services. However was returned earlier this year and we live seperatly currently.
My partner and I have a year saftey plan with social services for my OH moving back home with me and my daughter. He's started having overnights due to her birthday and Christmas and spends most days seeing us at home etc.
It was a long road and we still have a little way to go but I hope this would give you some positivity that it is possible to live together again :)
He's allowed unsupervised contact as well as long as he doesn't do personal care (so has to bring her back if needs changing etc or have someone who can change her with him)
Skysie98