Family and Friends Forum

Hello everyone, i havent been on the forum for while now as i decided my mental health was declining along with dealing with the trauma from all this and looking after 3 young children.

But now we thankfully on the journey to the end of this.
My partner is at crown court mid january for an adult attempt to communicate with a child under the age of 16 (it was a police decoy via snapchat), 1xcat b image and 3x cat c image (although his solictor and barrister still have yet to see the images or even the description of them and he was only interviewed once about the conversation and nothing was mentioned about images so my partner dont know what they are) but he was told by his barrister that unless he had proof to prove that the images werent his then for that low level, it would be more in his benefit to plead guilty anyway which he has done from the beginining.
The "conversation" was over a couple mornings and the chat fills 1 of a A4 piece of paper (not minimizing btw).



He was at crown court for plea and trail last week where he plead guilty, was giving no conditional bail and his barrister was told that the judge wanted it adjurned until she can see a pre sentance report but she said that it was not custodial and the starting point was 18 month suspended or a high community order (thats without at the migating factors, no trouble with police before and the pre sentance report).
His barrister asked if the court date could be after the festive period as he had a young family and the judge was understanding and agreed, He was told to go and sign the SOR and to enjoy Christmas and the No bail conditions and she will see him in January.
He left the court straight away and signed.
Couple days later the PPU came for a visit to confirm the details (and i guess to prove where he was living as hes currently living with his parents) until Social approve him coming home but thats a different worry and suggested we stuck to the safety plan we have in place with social until they can speak to us and hes welcome to come back home with me overnight etc providing the children arent there. He also got a date from the probation officer whos doing his report and he said he sounded lovely and told him, he was already "in his good books and impressed" as he went straight from court to sign. Hes got proof the courses hes done and character refrences.

i really thought mentally we were nearly at the end until social services got in touch with us today where reality hit that this was is going to go on forever.

We've been incredibly lucky that there has been no press at the moment (fingers crossed theres none at sentancing too) and was so looking forward to getting to the end of this and moving on. We've grown as indivuals and as a couple despite a long time working on ourselves and me needing time on where i want to go forward and i have decided to stand by. Ive seen him break, ive seen his remorse and the work hes done.
Ive done work on myself and also Inform course.

We still getting our heads around the do and dont's on the SOR and if he was to get a SHPO , how to get used to that.
Does it get easier?
i mean i know like anything in life, we just learn to live with it and it becomes the new normal but we have a young family (7,6 and 3) and a possibilty of the fight with social, but can live become settled again?

What was peoples outcomes for a similar charge? etc

I know everyones stories are different but its brought back so many memories and emotions from those early days despite it being towards the end (Roll on mid jan).
We've booked a couple weekend away end of Febuary (uk break) and i cant wait but that seems like forever just to forget about all this.
I just want to be able to look back and say we've done it. weve made it through and lessons have been learned and weve both grown but just feeling hopeless



sorry for the rant. any stories are welcome (with or without social services involvment too)



Thank you everyone in advance x