Little message of hope <3
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Almost a year ago, my life was completely turned upside down. My partner was arrested, and in a matter of moments, everything I considered normal (my routines, my goals, my sense of stability) was stripped away. I was left grappling with questions that felt impossible to answer: Why? Why me? Why us?
That day marked the beginning of a journey I never expected to take. I made the decision to stay, to try to understand my partner, despite the uncertainty and without any promises. Through a lot of therapy I learned so much about him, about myself, and about life but I also had to face the reality that the life I once knew was gone.
Before all of this, my days were filled with work, the gym, and running. I thrived on the structure and satisfaction these routines gave me. But, truthfully, there was very little time left for my partner, for real deep communication. I don’t blame myself or feel guilty, but I understand now how difficult it must have been for to hide sadness and depression. While I don’t justify him actions, I’ve learned to truly listen and to empathize.
Since that day, my life has been centered on supporting someone else. I helped my partner survive the uncertainty of the investigation, the fear of court, the anxiety about jail, the crushing weight of depression, and the loss of their job - he still feels lost, purposeless at times.
Recently, my partner went to visit their mother in another country, and for the first time in a long time, I fully prioritized myself. I returned to the gym after four months of tries. I was scared. It might sound silly but that gym had seen me through the hardest days after the arrest. I remembered the corner where I worked out in those early days, clinging to any semblance of sanity, I do still remember going through my workouts crying. Walking in again brought all those memories and emotions rushing back.
I am now back home and experienced a weird feeling crying again but this time with relief. Relief that I had made it through, that I am okay, and that life, while different, is beginning to stabilize. I’m finding joy in every small victory, and I’m hopeful for what’s to come. Things may never go back to how they were, but I’m discovering new strengths, opportunities, and perspectives.
To anyone going through something similar I think and pray for you everyday, we didn't expects this, we did not choose this. To those whose lives have been shattered: you will find your way again. It may not look the same, and the journey may be messy and unpredictable, but you will rebuild. Whether you choose to stay or go, your life will transform, and you’ll emerge stronger and wiser.
If you have the chance, take a moment for yourself, a walk, a quiet moment alone, anything that lets you breathe. Don’t lose hope. Never give up. Everything will get better, little by little. One day, you’ll look back and see just how far you’ve come.
With lot of love
That day marked the beginning of a journey I never expected to take. I made the decision to stay, to try to understand my partner, despite the uncertainty and without any promises. Through a lot of therapy I learned so much about him, about myself, and about life but I also had to face the reality that the life I once knew was gone.
Before all of this, my days were filled with work, the gym, and running. I thrived on the structure and satisfaction these routines gave me. But, truthfully, there was very little time left for my partner, for real deep communication. I don’t blame myself or feel guilty, but I understand now how difficult it must have been for to hide sadness and depression. While I don’t justify him actions, I’ve learned to truly listen and to empathize.
Since that day, my life has been centered on supporting someone else. I helped my partner survive the uncertainty of the investigation, the fear of court, the anxiety about jail, the crushing weight of depression, and the loss of their job - he still feels lost, purposeless at times.
Recently, my partner went to visit their mother in another country, and for the first time in a long time, I fully prioritized myself. I returned to the gym after four months of tries. I was scared. It might sound silly but that gym had seen me through the hardest days after the arrest. I remembered the corner where I worked out in those early days, clinging to any semblance of sanity, I do still remember going through my workouts crying. Walking in again brought all those memories and emotions rushing back.
I am now back home and experienced a weird feeling crying again but this time with relief. Relief that I had made it through, that I am okay, and that life, while different, is beginning to stabilize. I’m finding joy in every small victory, and I’m hopeful for what’s to come. Things may never go back to how they were, but I’m discovering new strengths, opportunities, and perspectives.
To anyone going through something similar I think and pray for you everyday, we didn't expects this, we did not choose this. To those whose lives have been shattered: you will find your way again. It may not look the same, and the journey may be messy and unpredictable, but you will rebuild. Whether you choose to stay or go, your life will transform, and you’ll emerge stronger and wiser.
If you have the chance, take a moment for yourself, a walk, a quiet moment alone, anything that lets you breathe. Don’t lose hope. Never give up. Everything will get better, little by little. One day, you’ll look back and see just how far you’ve come.
With lot of love
Fantastic uplifting post - which we all need - thankyou for sharing xxxxx
Thank you, I really needed to read this this week
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Thank you for this.
Sometimes the future looks so bleak but posts like this make me believe I can do this x
Sometimes the future looks so bleak but posts like this make me believe I can do this x
I chose to leave. It's taken quite a while but I am now prioritising myself. Best thing I've done. Yes I'm lonely. Yes I would love to have someone to share stuff with and do things with - but hopefully that will come.
Thank you for sharing your message of hope. I needed this today.
Thank you for this x
This post is such a great help ! Thank you
Thank you for this, I really needed it today xx
Seeing this has helped me today. After 2 yrs of this hanging over us, my partner was sentenced this week.
I, like yourself, have chosen to stand by him. Now I face the next few months of being on my own which is something I haven't experienced in over 20+ years.
To say this has been one of the worst weeks of my life since the knock on my door 2 years ago.
No one thought he would go to prison even his barrister.
Now I have to face facts that I will be alone for the next 3 months at least and I need to find a new routine. I need to find me again then hopefully when my partner comes out of prison, we can be a better "us".
I, like yourself, have chosen to stand by him. Now I face the next few months of being on my own which is something I haven't experienced in over 20+ years.
To say this has been one of the worst weeks of my life since the knock on my door 2 years ago.
No one thought he would go to prison even his barrister.
Now I have to face facts that I will be alone for the next 3 months at least and I need to find a new routine. I need to find me again then hopefully when my partner comes out of prison, we can be a better "us".