Living in hell
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My partner was sentenced In June, moved back home and all was well. Until his visor officer went through his phone, see he was watching porn with phrases such as 'first time' and refered our case back to social services who have made him leave home again. I am having alot of issues with them at the moment questioning my intentions and things. Although I'm super angry with my partner, I sort of understand his point in the sense that he's a man with needs, I'm 24 weeks pregnant amd have 3 other children. He just clicked on different videos paying no attention to what he was watching but in doing so he's completely jeopardised our family. He just tells me and social services how watching porn isn't illegal and although he's sorry he doesn't understand why he's got to leave home. Porn is now blocked on his phone. He has an app on the phone for the police e and me to track him and that was alot but that's not what this post is about.
I am constantly going back and forward between moods. Some moments I am hopeful that he will be allowed home and things will be OK, others i sit and cry. Anxiety through the roof, especially first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I struggle to sleep and I really struggle to eat which being pregnant doesn't help. I'm just constantly on edge waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. Waiting for the phone to ring, but no idea who I'm waiting on a call from. Checking emails 800 times a day but again no idea who I'm expecting an email from. I am just so incredibly sad at times it is soul destroying but I know I have to be strong because I have 4 children depending on me and Christmas is a matter of days away, my partner isn't going to be allowed to be here which is absolutely killing me and the children but obviously we have to listen and I keep telling myself this is just one Christmas. We'll have many more.
On top of how I'm feeling my partner is feeling incredibly sad, helpless, confused and having to stay at his parents 2 hours away and I've no idea what he's capable of. In the sense he's mentioned a few times about how how me and the children would be better without him and things so that is constantly playing on my mind. I've told him of the charity and things and told them to ring them but he says he types the number in then its like his whole body freezes and he just can't bring himself to call.
I'm just feeling so helpless. We are waiting for an initial child protection conference and that absolutely terrifies me. My social worker has already decided that I am a terrible mum and constantly tells me how he cannot be rehabilitated amd he will forever have a preference for children and there is nothing I can do. I have done everything they have asked but there report just says so many lies. I don't know if we need a solicitor for this or what. This all feels like someone else's life. Like I'm living my own hell that was supposed to be over a few months ago. We was just supposed to breathe and enjoy life now.
I don't even know what the point of this is. I just have noone else to talk to about these things because noone else understands.
I am constantly going back and forward between moods. Some moments I am hopeful that he will be allowed home and things will be OK, others i sit and cry. Anxiety through the roof, especially first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I struggle to sleep and I really struggle to eat which being pregnant doesn't help. I'm just constantly on edge waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. Waiting for the phone to ring, but no idea who I'm waiting on a call from. Checking emails 800 times a day but again no idea who I'm expecting an email from. I am just so incredibly sad at times it is soul destroying but I know I have to be strong because I have 4 children depending on me and Christmas is a matter of days away, my partner isn't going to be allowed to be here which is absolutely killing me and the children but obviously we have to listen and I keep telling myself this is just one Christmas. We'll have many more.
On top of how I'm feeling my partner is feeling incredibly sad, helpless, confused and having to stay at his parents 2 hours away and I've no idea what he's capable of. In the sense he's mentioned a few times about how how me and the children would be better without him and things so that is constantly playing on my mind. I've told him of the charity and things and told them to ring them but he says he types the number in then its like his whole body freezes and he just can't bring himself to call.
I'm just feeling so helpless. We are waiting for an initial child protection conference and that absolutely terrifies me. My social worker has already decided that I am a terrible mum and constantly tells me how he cannot be rehabilitated amd he will forever have a preference for children and there is nothing I can do. I have done everything they have asked but there report just says so many lies. I don't know if we need a solicitor for this or what. This all feels like someone else's life. Like I'm living my own hell that was supposed to be over a few months ago. We was just supposed to breathe and enjoy life now.
I don't even know what the point of this is. I just have noone else to talk to about these things because noone else understands.
I am sorry I do not have experience of social services, but just wanted to say hello. I just wish I could give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Do you have anyone, a friend or family to help you, one that you can talk to? It sometimes takes someone from outside the situation to look at it objectively and then make suggestions on how to navigate your life at this moment. Have you spoken to your gp about your lack of sleep. I realise ebing pregnant is difficult enough, but things never look as bad when you have sleep. I should know, i do not cope well when i am tired and i still struggle with that.
I did not want your post, completed late at night, to go unanswered. Feel free to message me if you think I can help. I am here, listening to you.
I did not want your post, completed late at night, to go unanswered. Feel free to message me if you think I can help. I am here, listening to you.
I only have my mum or my partner and his family. Although these people are good to talk too they don't understand if that makes sense. His sister not so much she is a great help but she lives so far away it's just a quick chat on the phone until we see eachother but that isn't often. Other than that it's my mum who does try and help but as I said she doesn't no so she doesn't get it. She just tells me to suck it up and be strong because him and the kids need me.
I have debated going to the doctors but I'm just worried if I go to the doctors then they'll go to social services and tell them and then social services will say I can't cope. Which I can, my house is clean and tidy and my children are fed and well looked after. I'm just struggling mentally myself and I know it'll be used against me
I have debated going to the doctors but I'm just worried if I go to the doctors then they'll go to social services and tell them and then social services will say I can't cope. Which I can, my house is clean and tidy and my children are fed and well looked after. I'm just struggling mentally myself and I know it'll be used against me
Could you ring the doctors and ask them generically if patient information can be released to social services. This sounds wrong to me but, I have no experience of that. Perhaps start a new thread as there maybe people on the forum who may know the answer.
How are you feeling today?
How are you feeling today?
I gave consent for the GP to disclose medical records and give access to SS to access our medical records so I'm assuming they will. I'm just so tired at this point. Maybe I'll try something over the counter to help me sleep and go from there