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Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Thu December 5, 2024 7:20pmReport post

What a day everyone!

Had our pre-magistrates meeting with the solicitor today and quite frankly I'm angry and frustrated that my OH has found himself in this sad position. A fantasy chat lured in by an undercover police officer that took place on one day via Kik, and because he deleted the app there's no record of it on his phone. Due to that they carried out the forensics and found 9 cat b (which had been deleted) pseudo-images on the cache. On the same day as the fantasy chat they've determined there are 4 search terms that provide evidence of actively searching for IIOCs - all of which in my opinion do not. I genuinely fear for the safety of my two sons if a provoked chat, generic search terms and a small number of 'deleted' images can lead to a prosecution - and of course all the fallout that goes with it, scary scary times!

Despite this it seems his solicitor thinks his best bet will be to plead guilty on Monday with the probability of a community order, SHPO (internet only) 5 years and SOR 5 years. Don't get me wrong it's the better outcome given the stage we are now at due to the police/CPS 'evidence' but for me this shouldn't have got to prosecution stage and a conditional caution would have been a far fairer and more just outcome.



There we go, rant over! I've written what I think is a robust family safety plan and I've completed lots of online courses to demonstrate I'm a protective parent who is aware of risks and manages accordingly, so we'll see what SS make of the whole affair when the time comes!

My ex will need to be told this weekend. We have a great relationship and he's also had issues with online pornography in the past so I'm hoping for his full support. Still not a great conversation to be having with anyone, but at least the offence can be explained more easily to those that need to know. I'm glad I waited until we knew exactly what we were dealing with.



love to all xxx

Edited Thu December 5, 2024 7:44pm

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

139 posts

Posted Thu December 5, 2024 11:17pmReport post

Really sorry you couldn't get a solution to this out of court! Take some reassurance in the fact you know a custodial sentence is very unlikely. Hang in there though, it'll all be put behind you soon.

What were the search terms? I think often they know perfectly well that legal porn is labelled in quite provactive ways but they decontextualise it and spin it to make it sound worse even though half of the world is using the same search terms as we speak...

Edited Thu December 5, 2024 11:19pm

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 7:24amReport post

Thank you, I know I should look at the positives, it all just feels a bit draconian and unfair. The fall out implications and having SS in our lives, for what!

I'm in no way defending the conversation but hearing the full report it all happened in a few hours on one day, a stupid mistake for attention at a very low point in his life. The search terms included 'teens' - well I'm not been funny I went on X to do my own investigation to to how easy things are to come by and on the first page of looking it mentioned that term - a very common search term. He'd also searched '7 year old boy' (I think they've cut and paraphrased) because his son was 7 at the time and he was buying school uniform for him! The other 2 I can't recall but were equally vague - how they can use this as evidence is terrifying. Xx

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 7:29amReport post

He's become another 'sex offender' that the police can say they've caught! Looks great for public perception and their statistics doesn't it! As you can tell, pretty angry with it all right now. X

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

323 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 4:18pmReport post

Hi, the Police say it is illegal for them to "lure" anyone. X

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

154 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 4:55pmReport post

Hi, I feel your anger and have lost faith in the justice system.

My OH downloaded a lot of porn and within that was iioc which he didn't know about. A couple of images were described as Lisa Simpson in a compromise position. Now he is on the SOR for being stupid. The judge at sentencing wanted him to admit to being attracted to children which he couldn't do as it isn't true.

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 8:12pmReport post

It is illegal perhaps but equally entrapment isn't a legal defense in the UK, so in effect the undercover police can contact/approach out the blue and engage in conversations and catch people off guard to encourage them to say things they wouldn't have done .....but everyone has their own view points and I respect that. I just know my OH wouldn't be in this position had it not been for one conversation with an undercover PO. The rest of the 'evidence' is patchy at best, but we daren't pursue a not guilty because the police/criminal justice system is a dangerous and unpredictable place.

On a bright note after 15 months of living with this in isolation I told my ex what was happening today, and what a wonderfully supportive, loving and compassionate response I got. I feel so relieved he knows and I know he will be a great support for me. He's had issues with pornograohy and was taken aback by the seriousness of what is happening. He's even text tonight to say if my OH ever needs a friendly ear he's there for him. I've cried a lot today! X

lostinthewoods

Member since
September 2024

52 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 8:45pmReport post

I'm glad your ex was understanding and supportive, I can't even begin to imagine the sneers and hatred I would receive from mine - I'm dreading him ever finding out. Fortunately I don't have a lot to do with him now the kids are grown but we have a daughters wedding next year to get through. X

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Fri December 6, 2024 8:56pmReport post

Lostinthewoods I'm certainly counting my blessings tonight. I hope you continue to keep it away from him. Not everyone's support is guaranteed, so today has been my first step to creating my new ring of support xx

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

392 posts

Posted Sat December 7, 2024 10:31amReport post

Just for clarification, entrapment is not treated as a defence, but as an abuse of process. If there is some evidence of it found in a conversation, then the defence can ask the judge to have the case dismissed.

If a decoy was involved, then the police should have a full record of the conversation, so even if it were deleted from his phone, his solicitor can still request the details.

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Sat December 7, 2024 10:22pmReport post

Thank you that's helpful to know...

In other news as of today my parents and brother now know and have also been supportive! The relief is immense! So let's see what happens in on Monday!

lostinthewoods

Member since
September 2024

52 posts

Posted Sun December 8, 2024 8:47amReport post

Fingers crossed for you for Monday! I'm pleased you are finding your family supportive - such a relief for you xx

Eye of storm

Member since
May 2024

71 posts

Posted Sun December 8, 2024 9:59amReport post

Thank you so much LostInTheWoods! After 15 months of isolation and having to tell white lies to the people I love the most it was certainly a huge weight off. It also means that me and my OH can start to look to the future and put this nightmare behind us. Although I know there'll be more challenges to come, knowing we have the important people in our corner means the absolute world, and that's all that matters xxx