16 year old autistic son
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Hi I'm new here we had the knock for our autistic son he is 16 he has IIOC on his phone and there is alot he has had to leave out of family home as we have 5 other children and he is living with his aunty but I keep crying on and off not knowing when this nightmare will be over and what he will be convicted with or what will happen to him. Could he be sent away? Or prison even? Jsut recently the police done a surprise visit and told us there was a pic of our other son on the phone too whilst he was asleep, our heads are all over the place -
Hello Nellie
I am so sorry that you find yourself here and I am thinking of you and your son.
The young member in our family was only 16, like your son, when they received the knock and they too are on the autistic spectrum.
One of the best things we did in the early days was make contact with the Stop it Now helpline. The young person in our family was not able to speak to them for the first few months (left very traumatised by the knock) but I did so we were being supported by them and it helped to gently encourage the young person in our family to eventually engage in the young person's Inform course. This helped them a lot to fully understand and process how this had happened to them and educate them on the law around internet use.
Have you made contact with the helpline yet? Does your son have any outside agencies that support him in anyway? If so , it may be worth thinking about if they can help support you through all this too?
From our personal experience I want to say be wary of the police, - for us we felt they did not really care about the wellbeing of our young family member but were only interested in securing a conviction.
I hope this information helps you in some way.
I am so sorry that you find yourself here and I am thinking of you and your son.
The young member in our family was only 16, like your son, when they received the knock and they too are on the autistic spectrum.
One of the best things we did in the early days was make contact with the Stop it Now helpline. The young person in our family was not able to speak to them for the first few months (left very traumatised by the knock) but I did so we were being supported by them and it helped to gently encourage the young person in our family to eventually engage in the young person's Inform course. This helped them a lot to fully understand and process how this had happened to them and educate them on the law around internet use.
Have you made contact with the helpline yet? Does your son have any outside agencies that support him in anyway? If so , it may be worth thinking about if they can help support you through all this too?
From our personal experience I want to say be wary of the police, - for us we felt they did not really care about the wellbeing of our young family member but were only interested in securing a conviction.
I hope this information helps you in some way.
Hi thanks for replying and no he hasn't had any contact with any other company, yes I am aware the police jsut want to get a conviction.
I feel for him as he come out as gay last year and got himself caught up in this mess even now he says he feels sorry for the children involved and it's hard because the p olice don't him and don't get how he got himself in this situation.
I keep crying on and off as I don't think he will be spending Xmas with us and his siblings and he has been out of the house since July and I just want this to all be over and I'm so worried what punishment he will get
I feel for him as he come out as gay last year and got himself caught up in this mess even now he says he feels sorry for the children involved and it's hard because the p olice don't him and don't get how he got himself in this situation.
I keep crying on and off as I don't think he will be spending Xmas with us and his siblings and he has been out of the house since July and I just want this to all be over and I'm so worried what punishment he will get
They even turnt up unexpected last week to see if he was here looking in kids room even talking to our daughter asking where everyone slept I think it was wrong
Hello Nelly
You may find the book 'The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law' interesting to read. It helped us make sense of the situation we found ourselves in and how someone being on the autistic spectrum could have significantly contributed to this happening. The authors are Tony Attwood, Isabelle Henault and Nick Dubin.
In part of this book Nick Dubin explains his journey as a young gay man and ending up in the criminal justice system and a criminal record.
Another piece of advice I would give is it is very important that police/cps decisions and any court proceedings happen before your son turns 18 so he is fairly treated as a youth.
Look after yourself the best you can and try to take one day at a time.
You may find the book 'The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law' interesting to read. It helped us make sense of the situation we found ourselves in and how someone being on the autistic spectrum could have significantly contributed to this happening. The authors are Tony Attwood, Isabelle Henault and Nick Dubin.
In part of this book Nick Dubin explains his journey as a young gay man and ending up in the criminal justice system and a criminal record.
Another piece of advice I would give is it is very important that police/cps decisions and any court proceedings happen before your son turns 18 so he is fairly treated as a youth.
Look after yourself the best you can and try to take one day at a time.
Thank you so much for that it all jsut feels surreal and I keep crying on and off some days are harder then others as I am emotional person anyway.
it's hard that he kept this from me as he would always come to me for everything he didn't understand. I feel I've failed my son as I couldn't protect him from seeing them things ????????????
it's hard that he kept this from me as he would always come to me for everything he didn't understand. I feel I've failed my son as I couldn't protect him from seeing them things ????????????
And the police want this sorted asap