Why did he ask this?
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I have been going over this in my head for a while now and I want your opinion.
Our SW pointed at my stomach (I'm overweight and going through menopause so my stomach is bloated and I carry weight differently.) and said "oh you're pregnant. That wasn't in your notes" I was mortified. I replied saying no I'm definitely not pregnant and explained about menopause . He then asked "will you be having more?" I just felt so uncomfortable.
I don't know if he was just making conversation or trying to figure out if me and OH are active in that way.
Our SW pointed at my stomach (I'm overweight and going through menopause so my stomach is bloated and I carry weight differently.) and said "oh you're pregnant. That wasn't in your notes" I was mortified. I replied saying no I'm definitely not pregnant and explained about menopause . He then asked "will you be having more?" I just felt so uncomfortable.
I don't know if he was just making conversation or trying to figure out if me and OH are active in that way.
Hello
i am mortified at the comments of the SW!
you do not make small talk by saying things like that?
Personally that would be enough for me to put a complaint in straight away. could you possibly contact the SW Manager and explain how upset and mortified you are at what was said and how it made you feel?
really sorry you have had to experience this, Its not acceptable at all xx
sending love x
i am mortified at the comments of the SW!
you do not make small talk by saying things like that?
Personally that would be enough for me to put a complaint in straight away. could you possibly contact the SW Manager and explain how upset and mortified you are at what was said and how it made you feel?
really sorry you have had to experience this, Its not acceptable at all xx
sending love x
Oooh I would complain about this 100 percent. I know it's a different industry but I work in healthcare and I would never dream of saying this to a patient. It's very very insensitive and actually could be very damaging, it also shows a total lack of understanding/education about women's health and pregnancy that as a social worker I imagine you should know. If you don't like your SW now's the time to use this to swap, explain how hurtful it is and that you no longer feel comfortable with them and want to be assigned a new one.
Plus it's totally outside of his remit to ask that question that way. If he wanted to know if you were pregnant for a legitimate reason (which is possible he would need to know if you were) he should of just asked 'are you pregnant or planning any more children?' he shouldn't of pointed at your stomach and assumed. And he should know that menopause means planning a child is very unlikely.
Plus it's totally outside of his remit to ask that question that way. If he wanted to know if you were pregnant for a legitimate reason (which is possible he would need to know if you were) he should of just asked 'are you pregnant or planning any more children?' he shouldn't of pointed at your stomach and assumed. And he should know that menopause means planning a child is very unlikely.
I have to wait to Monday to make a complaint as his manager isn't until then.
I was absolutely mortified as I'm very self conscious about my weight but thankfully I'm strong enough to deal with it. I would hate to think of him making such a comment to someone who is at breaking point
I was absolutely mortified as I'm very self conscious about my weight but thankfully I'm strong enough to deal with it. I would hate to think of him making such a comment to someone who is at breaking point
Hello and boy, am I cross on your behalf! There is absolutely no excuse for his comments. At the very least he needs a strong word about insensitivity and how to make small talk with his clients, it's the kind of thing a child might say to someone, not a professional working with very vulnerable people. And if it's his way of finding out facts (becase he would need to know if there was a baby coming for child protection concerns) he needs training again in how to ask delicate questions respectfully and considerately. Either way he's out of order and obviously has no understanding of women's health or biology. I'm so sorry you had this to deal with.
If you want to make a complaint and get no joy doing it by just speaking to his manager (who will hopefully take you seriously and not close ranks with the SW) it's always best to do things in writing so you have a paper trail if you're ignored. If you want to do it very seriously then read this link which explains how to go about it in the most effective way. The organisiation (Family Rights Group) can also help you via their helpline. Good luck and if we could add emojis on here mine would be that red face with steam coming out of its nostrils on your behalf followed by the hug one for you.
https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/what/complaints/
If you want to make a complaint and get no joy doing it by just speaking to his manager (who will hopefully take you seriously and not close ranks with the SW) it's always best to do things in writing so you have a paper trail if you're ignored. If you want to do it very seriously then read this link which explains how to go about it in the most effective way. The organisiation (Family Rights Group) can also help you via their helpline. Good luck and if we could add emojis on here mine would be that red face with steam coming out of its nostrils on your behalf followed by the hug one for you.
https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/what/complaints/