First nightmare about everyone finding out
Notifications OFF
I had my first nightmare last night in the 6+ years of finding out about my person's offending. It was all about everyone in my life finding out and then disowning me and I got a horrible sense of total isolation and loneliness.
I woke up sweating and quite shaken from it. It hangs over me from time to time and when I told my person I don't think really understand how distressing it was.
I feel I'm delusional. On the outside we are a normal couple. Have our own house, good jobs etc. but that can all go so quickly in an instant if his conviction is known.
I know we can't dwell on it all the time, but I'm frustrated he didn't even hug me and validate my concerns.
I woke up sweating and quite shaken from it. It hangs over me from time to time and when I told my person I don't think really understand how distressing it was.
I feel I'm delusional. On the outside we are a normal couple. Have our own house, good jobs etc. but that can all go so quickly in an instant if his conviction is known.
I know we can't dwell on it all the time, but I'm frustrated he didn't even hug me and validate my concerns.
The dreams are a horrible part of all of this. I regularly have dreams where my (now ex) walks through the door and everything is fine and then I wake up to the crushing reality, or I had a really disturbing dream that I found him after he had taken his own life and woke up sobbing for hours having a panic attack.
The dreams are a very real symptom of the trauma you have been through, your brain is processing a very complex trauma whilst still trying to function 'normally' your person should of recognised that you have been subjected to a life altering trauma (to me it almost feels like an assault on my life, like my life has been threatened by their actions)
You are totally valid in these dreams having a real impact on you, you're experiencing your worst fears and unfortunately they have a possibility of coming true. Be kind to yourself, you are valid, you are going through a complex trauma, your person has caused you pain and fear and now you have to try to live with that.
The dreams are a very real symptom of the trauma you have been through, your brain is processing a very complex trauma whilst still trying to function 'normally' your person should of recognised that you have been subjected to a life altering trauma (to me it almost feels like an assault on my life, like my life has been threatened by their actions)
You are totally valid in these dreams having a real impact on you, you're experiencing your worst fears and unfortunately they have a possibility of coming true. Be kind to yourself, you are valid, you are going through a complex trauma, your person has caused you pain and fear and now you have to try to live with that.
My dreams are very sad. I dream of seeing my son again, reaching up to give him an embarrassing mummy kiss, it's usually on a beach (?). Then other times I fear the next time I see him I won't recognise him.......
I immediately try to reconcile myself and reel in the positive thoughts and what we have right now..... and shelve those thoughts.
I immediately try to reconcile myself and reel in the positive thoughts and what we have right now..... and shelve those thoughts.
I too have bad dreams linked to the journey we've been on. They wake me with a jolt and stay with me all day. Sending all you dreamers a big hug..