Fridays check in x
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Good afternoon lovlies x
I hope you are all keeping as well as can be,
Webb89 I will definitely join you on the 16th x
My favourite Christmas films has to be Elf & the holiday ;-) oh to be in a remote cottage with an open fire and snow falling outside, bliss
My week has been full on, a few long days but its Friday so.time to unwind x
I have a visit with HC in the morning and have a suprise for him, he thinks its just me visiting but in fact his Uncle & Aunt are coming with me, I feel like its Christmas morning already and cannot wait to see his face when he sees us ( I know it will be a bit emotional as he hasnt seen them in 3 years) xx
He is done well in himself and his studies is going really well, x
No furbaby this weekend due to the visit so I am hoping to finish my xmas shopping on Sunday x
I hope.you all have something nice to look forward to the weekend xx
And for those of.you struggling please reach out and know you are not alone xx
Love sent as always xx
I hope you are all keeping as well as can be,
Webb89 I will definitely join you on the 16th x
My favourite Christmas films has to be Elf & the holiday ;-) oh to be in a remote cottage with an open fire and snow falling outside, bliss
My week has been full on, a few long days but its Friday so.time to unwind x
I have a visit with HC in the morning and have a suprise for him, he thinks its just me visiting but in fact his Uncle & Aunt are coming with me, I feel like its Christmas morning already and cannot wait to see his face when he sees us ( I know it will be a bit emotional as he hasnt seen them in 3 years) xx
He is done well in himself and his studies is going really well, x
No furbaby this weekend due to the visit so I am hoping to finish my xmas shopping on Sunday x
I hope.you all have something nice to look forward to the weekend xx
And for those of.you struggling please reach out and know you are not alone xx
Love sent as always xx
For the most part my week has been good, I've been getting everything ready for the kids for Christmas and it's our eldest sons birthday next week, 2 days after my own so it's been quite full on preparing everything but today my good mood has been shattered. The social worker went to see our children at school today and my youngest has barely spoken since he got home and is being unusually quiet which has made me cry because I hate that I can't make all this better for our kids. They hate being made to talk to a stranger. They love their daddy so much and we are lucky to see him everyday but knowing we have to deal with this for at least another 2 years which is when his trial is booked for is so hard, especially as we are alresdy 15 months in. I'm the fixer of the family so I'm struggling knowing I can't fix this xx
Hello Friday Check in,
So exciting for HC to see some family he hasn't seen in a while. Bub, sorry to hear about your child being quiet and not sharing with you.
I've had a busy week catching up at home and work after my youngest was sick last week. I can't believe Christmas is around the corner as I'm nowhere close to ready. Tonight I am hosting my family for an annual tradition of making a Christmas tree ornament. This year we will be making origami stars out of my grandma's piano sheet music.
My husband is doing ok. This week he started going to church (this is new for him), and a general 12 step program offered at the prison. He starts a job in "textiles" on Monday. Visits have not yet been approved but he calls every day. Time is marching on.
So exciting for HC to see some family he hasn't seen in a while. Bub, sorry to hear about your child being quiet and not sharing with you.
I've had a busy week catching up at home and work after my youngest was sick last week. I can't believe Christmas is around the corner as I'm nowhere close to ready. Tonight I am hosting my family for an annual tradition of making a Christmas tree ornament. This year we will be making origami stars out of my grandma's piano sheet music.
My husband is doing ok. This week he started going to church (this is new for him), and a general 12 step program offered at the prison. He starts a job in "textiles" on Monday. Visits have not yet been approved but he calls every day. Time is marching on.
hello
hope everyone is well
Ive just got back from a little break away where my Oh should of been with us but after ppu approving, social didnt so they sided with her.
Soon as i walked into the home, our social worker rang to ask to come and see us on wednesday. Only seen her twice since she reopened it due to sentancing coming up next month but our old social worker has left so we have her and ive literally been in tears since.
I feel so pressured to leave my OH after being together for 10 years, hes a fantasic dad and our kids absolutley adore him. They constantly asking when is he coming home and i can only supervise in public at the moment which in the weather we are having at the moment, is making it difficult as i dont drive and he dont have his car (not had one since before the knock...its not been our priority although i am now wishing we did just bite the bullet and get one). She entered our lives with a pre judgement and has been constantly asking me why i would want to be with him and how do i know hes not done it before and just not been caught.
I feel uncomfortable with her in our home, and although ive got nothing to hide etc , the fear her coming out wondering how else is she going to pressure me or make me think im making the wrong decision. she did see our children at our home (OH currently living with his parents until given the green light to come home and i told her from the start the end target was for him to move back home but i knew it was going to take time and id rather work with them to get to that target) and she told me when she went back to the office, she told the girls at work just how happy and confident and polite my children are which i thought could of been a turning point but then it was followed by so are you sure your not going to leave him. I was going to put a complaint in but i dont want to make things worse.
so after a lovely 4 days away (and i didnt want to go anyway but my OH told me i shouldnt miss the opporunity with the children and i shouldnt have to suffer because of him which made me fill with guilt as i just want all of this to go away) , ive come back to reality. A Reality i never thought was going to be mine.
Im stuggling with the thought of the next steps. shes coming out wednesday after school and i just want it over and done with, apparently its for an update/family history, well thats what she states in her follow up email and its for an hour. i should be looking forward to christmas, also another one my OH wont be at but i cant. It just feels like all the emotions from last year when we got the knock is hitting me again except that time, our SW was lovely and non judgmental. Our new one i find unapproachable.
on the plus side, its my childrens christmas play monday and tuesday and their christmas parties friday before they break up and also my youngest first party at nursery. its just ruined by wednesday and shes ringing my OH thursday for family history/parenting. im a bag of nerves so i cant enjoy anything.
oh and his parents are going to have our children overnight saturday whilst we finish our christmas shopping and as much as hes allowed in our house without the children their and confirmed by his offending manager, i literally worry about our SW trying to even stop us so tonight will be looking for a hotel we can stay at. Its well needed as we need time to breath.
anyway thank you for reading if you got this far, i needed to get it off my chest. I just want to scream!!
hope you all have a lovely weekend xxx
hope everyone is well
Ive just got back from a little break away where my Oh should of been with us but after ppu approving, social didnt so they sided with her.
Soon as i walked into the home, our social worker rang to ask to come and see us on wednesday. Only seen her twice since she reopened it due to sentancing coming up next month but our old social worker has left so we have her and ive literally been in tears since.
I feel so pressured to leave my OH after being together for 10 years, hes a fantasic dad and our kids absolutley adore him. They constantly asking when is he coming home and i can only supervise in public at the moment which in the weather we are having at the moment, is making it difficult as i dont drive and he dont have his car (not had one since before the knock...its not been our priority although i am now wishing we did just bite the bullet and get one). She entered our lives with a pre judgement and has been constantly asking me why i would want to be with him and how do i know hes not done it before and just not been caught.
I feel uncomfortable with her in our home, and although ive got nothing to hide etc , the fear her coming out wondering how else is she going to pressure me or make me think im making the wrong decision. she did see our children at our home (OH currently living with his parents until given the green light to come home and i told her from the start the end target was for him to move back home but i knew it was going to take time and id rather work with them to get to that target) and she told me when she went back to the office, she told the girls at work just how happy and confident and polite my children are which i thought could of been a turning point but then it was followed by so are you sure your not going to leave him. I was going to put a complaint in but i dont want to make things worse.
so after a lovely 4 days away (and i didnt want to go anyway but my OH told me i shouldnt miss the opporunity with the children and i shouldnt have to suffer because of him which made me fill with guilt as i just want all of this to go away) , ive come back to reality. A Reality i never thought was going to be mine.
Im stuggling with the thought of the next steps. shes coming out wednesday after school and i just want it over and done with, apparently its for an update/family history, well thats what she states in her follow up email and its for an hour. i should be looking forward to christmas, also another one my OH wont be at but i cant. It just feels like all the emotions from last year when we got the knock is hitting me again except that time, our SW was lovely and non judgmental. Our new one i find unapproachable.
on the plus side, its my childrens christmas play monday and tuesday and their christmas parties friday before they break up and also my youngest first party at nursery. its just ruined by wednesday and shes ringing my OH thursday for family history/parenting. im a bag of nerves so i cant enjoy anything.
oh and his parents are going to have our children overnight saturday whilst we finish our christmas shopping and as much as hes allowed in our house without the children their and confirmed by his offending manager, i literally worry about our SW trying to even stop us so tonight will be looking for a hotel we can stay at. Its well needed as we need time to breath.
anyway thank you for reading if you got this far, i needed to get it off my chest. I just want to scream!!
hope you all have a lovely weekend xxx
I really love the support this group gives, it is really inspiring.
I don't post often but this week has been hard, with the plea and my person returning to the state of shock. They have worked so hard to turn themselves around, working with Stop It Now and working hard on their mental health. I have to say I have been disappointed in the solicitor who hasn't really prepared my person.
On a positive note we can relax over Christmas as we wait for the sentencing. It gives a bit of time to think and prepare for whatever happens next.
Thanks x
I don't post often but this week has been hard, with the plea and my person returning to the state of shock. They have worked so hard to turn themselves around, working with Stop It Now and working hard on their mental health. I have to say I have been disappointed in the solicitor who hasn't really prepared my person.
On a positive note we can relax over Christmas as we wait for the sentencing. It gives a bit of time to think and prepare for whatever happens next.
Thanks x
Hello friday check in
Last weekend away for a great weekend away and been busy with work since. Working overtime again on the weekend so only really have Saturday. Having my hair done and going out with some friends for a meal and drinks. Should be a laugh. I might be going to a quiz on Sunday but not sure.
Next week not much on except work really.
Hope everyone is ok.
Last weekend away for a great weekend away and been busy with work since. Working overtime again on the weekend so only really have Saturday. Having my hair done and going out with some friends for a meal and drinks. Should be a laugh. I might be going to a quiz on Sunday but not sure.
Next week not much on except work really.
Hope everyone is ok.
Hi,
This is my first Friday check in. The knock was two weeks ago. My husband has been remanded since then and this forum has been such a massive support for me. I tried calling the helpline, but it cuts me off most times.
The exhaustion is settling in. I'm struggling and ugly crying when my two children are at school. Trying to be brave and positive in front of them.
Couldn't get any work done.
Don't really feel festive this year and the enormity of my marriage being over is something I can't quite grasp yet. Never is such an unrelenting word. But I cannot put my kids through this time and time again. They are everything to me.
We got some support from CHAS this week, which really helped to see the silver lining.
SW is a totally different story. Very young, inexperienced and basically unable to help with anything.
It's very early days for us, so I'm still in shock that this is happening. My emotions are all over the place, but trying to keep positive for the sake of my kids.
I never thought our story will end this way. I guess we never know what hides inside another person's head. It's very difficult to reconcile as an adult, not to mention how a child struggles with the whole betrayal and lies. Time will give us better perspective and we will be ok without him, I know that. But right now it's a very scary prospect and a long road to recovery after he tried to destroy our lives for the third time.
My plans for the weekend are simple. Probably watching some Christmas movies, a little walk in the freezing cold and a lot of rest and cuddles. Hopefully the children will get some sleep tonight. I will try not to cry. Small steps.
This is my first Friday check in. The knock was two weeks ago. My husband has been remanded since then and this forum has been such a massive support for me. I tried calling the helpline, but it cuts me off most times.
The exhaustion is settling in. I'm struggling and ugly crying when my two children are at school. Trying to be brave and positive in front of them.
Couldn't get any work done.
Don't really feel festive this year and the enormity of my marriage being over is something I can't quite grasp yet. Never is such an unrelenting word. But I cannot put my kids through this time and time again. They are everything to me.
We got some support from CHAS this week, which really helped to see the silver lining.
SW is a totally different story. Very young, inexperienced and basically unable to help with anything.
It's very early days for us, so I'm still in shock that this is happening. My emotions are all over the place, but trying to keep positive for the sake of my kids.
I never thought our story will end this way. I guess we never know what hides inside another person's head. It's very difficult to reconcile as an adult, not to mention how a child struggles with the whole betrayal and lies. Time will give us better perspective and we will be ok without him, I know that. But right now it's a very scary prospect and a long road to recovery after he tried to destroy our lives for the third time.
My plans for the weekend are simple. Probably watching some Christmas movies, a little walk in the freezing cold and a lot of rest and cuddles. Hopefully the children will get some sleep tonight. I will try not to cry. Small steps.
Hello Friday Check In
Upset, enjoy your visit and how lovely your son will see his aunt and uncle. Look forward to hearing about the visit.
Its so sad to hear so many stories involving children and how badly families are treated by SW! We have no children so we didn't experience any of those issues.
Week has been ok, nightmare at work on Thursday when I totally lost it and then argued with OH. Had a good cry, told my boss I was struggling (who took some work off me) and then had to say sorry to OH for being a complete cow! Back on track today,thank goodness.
No plans this weekend, Xmas shopping done and only food to think about but that will be the following weekend.
Take care everyone and be kind to yourselves xxx
Upset, enjoy your visit and how lovely your son will see his aunt and uncle. Look forward to hearing about the visit.
Its so sad to hear so many stories involving children and how badly families are treated by SW! We have no children so we didn't experience any of those issues.
Week has been ok, nightmare at work on Thursday when I totally lost it and then argued with OH. Had a good cry, told my boss I was struggling (who took some work off me) and then had to say sorry to OH for being a complete cow! Back on track today,thank goodness.
No plans this weekend, Xmas shopping done and only food to think about but that will be the following weekend.
Take care everyone and be kind to yourselves xxx
Hello Friday check in!
I finally caved in to getting something to help me sleep after a particularly bad week emotionally. I tend to overthink everything and worry endlessly about how things will pan out in the future. I struggle with taking it one day at a time.
However last night we talked honestly about things and I feel much better now.
Been for a long walk along the seafront this afternoon, hand in hand, like nothing has happened, the tide was going out and the sun made it quite pleasant.
Looking forward to the Strictly final tonight - Vito gets my vote every time lol
Thanks as always to the ladies (and some gents) on this forum - for those who reach out privately when they can tell someone is struggling, and for those who post their hopes, fears and experiences with the aim of helping others. Together we are stronger xxx
I finally caved in to getting something to help me sleep after a particularly bad week emotionally. I tend to overthink everything and worry endlessly about how things will pan out in the future. I struggle with taking it one day at a time.
However last night we talked honestly about things and I feel much better now.
Been for a long walk along the seafront this afternoon, hand in hand, like nothing has happened, the tide was going out and the sun made it quite pleasant.
Looking forward to the Strictly final tonight - Vito gets my vote every time lol
Thanks as always to the ladies (and some gents) on this forum - for those who reach out privately when they can tell someone is struggling, and for those who post their hopes, fears and experiences with the aim of helping others. Together we are stronger xxx
Hi my friends.
So much sadness and fears expressed this week on the forum - what we have to endure is thoroughly heartbreaking - thank goodness we have each other for supportive hugs & cuddles.
My week has been a bit boring & routine. I was nervous about an event I had to face today but it went ok, and I was proud of myself for coping. Hopefully can relax a bit now!
Take care my lovely ladies xxxx
So much sadness and fears expressed this week on the forum - what we have to endure is thoroughly heartbreaking - thank goodness we have each other for supportive hugs & cuddles.
My week has been a bit boring & routine. I was nervous about an event I had to face today but it went ok, and I was proud of myself for coping. Hopefully can relax a bit now!
Take care my lovely ladies xxxx
As this year nears it's end I am constantly thinking what next year will bring. Reading others stories and feeling ours is so different in terms of not knowing exactly what he's accused of and knowing he's reported stuff. Our knock was end of July. Then earlier this week my person he's 16 wanted to try get part time job to have some spending money so I was trying to put him off without saying full reason, but he worked it out and again he was crying about not knowing what he's accused of. These past few weeks have been difficult me wanting normal Xmas as possible. Part of me wants to contact OIC to see if update, other part of me says let's forget it until 2025.
So after disastrous attempt to start christmas in previous week resulting in a meltdown by my person where he was in tears saying he has no idea what he's accused of, this weekend we tried again and we did go to a small christmas party and he was relaxed and joining in. Since this all happened I don't post anything on Facebook about my kids and I was fortunate my one friend who is aware what's going off was considerate and ensured neither of my kids were in the photos posted on social media.
My son says he's looking forward to christmas which is positive. Here's hoping it's not so bad.
So after disastrous attempt to start christmas in previous week resulting in a meltdown by my person where he was in tears saying he has no idea what he's accused of, this weekend we tried again and we did go to a small christmas party and he was relaxed and joining in. Since this all happened I don't post anything on Facebook about my kids and I was fortunate my one friend who is aware what's going off was considerate and ensured neither of my kids were in the photos posted on social media.
My son says he's looking forward to christmas which is positive. Here's hoping it's not so bad.
I'm so aware when reading the posts on here how hard this time of year is for so many of you and my heart goes out to you.
This is my second Christmas since sentencing and life really does seem easier. We've spent time this weekend taking the grandchildren to see Father Christmas attending an outdoor carol service last evening in a village square and driving round to see the best of the Christmas light displays.
I know some of you won't be able to see it at the moment but hang on in there taking one day at a time. You are all amazing and you're doing just what you can do at the moment and that's enough.
This is my second Christmas since sentencing and life really does seem easier. We've spent time this weekend taking the grandchildren to see Father Christmas attending an outdoor carol service last evening in a village square and driving round to see the best of the Christmas light displays.
I know some of you won't be able to see it at the moment but hang on in there taking one day at a time. You are all amazing and you're doing just what you can do at the moment and that's enough.
I know coming up to Christmas is a difficult time so I'm sending you all love and hope you have some moments of joy over the festivities.
We've had a difficult week, OH was in court on Thursday for his initial plea. When we arrived, his solicitor informed him that he would not actually be able to represent him because my OH does not qualify for legal aid and he only takes on legal aid cases (I dont know why he left it until we were at court to tell us this as OH has spoken to him a couple of times before). Anyway, he handed us over to another solicitor who he recommended and we only got less than 5 minutes to speak to him before OH was called. OH had planned to plead guilty however was instructed to enter 'no plea' at that time, I'm assuming because the solicitor had not had a chance to look at things. Bail conditions remain in place but it doesn't affect our life too much tbh, we don't have any children etc. So now we are just waiting for the new solicitor to get in touch - my first impressions of him were good given the circumstances so fingers crossed. Now I'm just worried about the cost of things since we don't qualify for legal aid - we are not particularly well off and I am devastated that the savings we have to try and buy a house will probably be eaten in to with legal fees. So far it appears we have escaped any media coverage thank god.
Aside from that, we are trying to live life as normally as we can. We are both working over Christmas which I think will be a good distraction to be honest. Aside from this hanging over us, we both lost our mums last year so are working through grief alongside everything which is hard. I miss my mum more than ever.
No Christmas spirit over here, just trying to battle on and make it to the new year! Thinking of you all x
We've had a difficult week, OH was in court on Thursday for his initial plea. When we arrived, his solicitor informed him that he would not actually be able to represent him because my OH does not qualify for legal aid and he only takes on legal aid cases (I dont know why he left it until we were at court to tell us this as OH has spoken to him a couple of times before). Anyway, he handed us over to another solicitor who he recommended and we only got less than 5 minutes to speak to him before OH was called. OH had planned to plead guilty however was instructed to enter 'no plea' at that time, I'm assuming because the solicitor had not had a chance to look at things. Bail conditions remain in place but it doesn't affect our life too much tbh, we don't have any children etc. So now we are just waiting for the new solicitor to get in touch - my first impressions of him were good given the circumstances so fingers crossed. Now I'm just worried about the cost of things since we don't qualify for legal aid - we are not particularly well off and I am devastated that the savings we have to try and buy a house will probably be eaten in to with legal fees. So far it appears we have escaped any media coverage thank god.
Aside from that, we are trying to live life as normally as we can. We are both working over Christmas which I think will be a good distraction to be honest. Aside from this hanging over us, we both lost our mums last year so are working through grief alongside everything which is hard. I miss my mum more than ever.
No Christmas spirit over here, just trying to battle on and make it to the new year! Thinking of you all x