Situationship - Please Help
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I am beyond distraught and am looking for some advice....
Quite a few months ago now i was looking for a casual relationship and met a lovely lady. We got to know each other and i was aware she had a boyfriend who was happy for her to explore her Bi side with another woman. We got on so well and ended up spending a lot of time together as friends as well as having a sexual relationship. As things progressed she asked if i would like to join her and her boyfriend one time for some "fun" which we all knew would probably end in sex which we all agreed on. We did this a couple if times whilst i still continued to see her separately.
Fast forward 10 months and she disclosed to me that when her boyfriend was in a "bad place" he had found himself on the dark web. He had downloaded and viewed indecent & pornographic images of children. He was caught after X amount of time, arrested and eventually received a suspended sentence and had to sign the sex offenders register.
i left immedately and have been tortured by it ever since. I cannot believe she would not have told me and she feels its not a big issue. For me its a huge betrayal and i feel sick and disgusting.
Anh advice on how i would come to terms with this or rationalise this with myself. I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse (which she knew) and also as an adult and this has let out a tsunami of emotions
Sorry if this isn't the rice place to put this i just didn't know where else to take this
Thank you
Quite a few months ago now i was looking for a casual relationship and met a lovely lady. We got to know each other and i was aware she had a boyfriend who was happy for her to explore her Bi side with another woman. We got on so well and ended up spending a lot of time together as friends as well as having a sexual relationship. As things progressed she asked if i would like to join her and her boyfriend one time for some "fun" which we all knew would probably end in sex which we all agreed on. We did this a couple if times whilst i still continued to see her separately.
Fast forward 10 months and she disclosed to me that when her boyfriend was in a "bad place" he had found himself on the dark web. He had downloaded and viewed indecent & pornographic images of children. He was caught after X amount of time, arrested and eventually received a suspended sentence and had to sign the sex offenders register.
i left immedately and have been tortured by it ever since. I cannot believe she would not have told me and she feels its not a big issue. For me its a huge betrayal and i feel sick and disgusting.
Anh advice on how i would come to terms with this or rationalise this with myself. I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse (which she knew) and also as an adult and this has let out a tsunami of emotions
Sorry if this isn't the rice place to put this i just didn't know where else to take this
Thank you
I'm sorry that you've been through this. It is absolutely a big deal that she wasn't honest with you before allowing intimacy.
You have been betrayed because you should have had all the information to make an informed decision. As consenting adults there isn't a legal obligation for disclosure but there is a moral one. If you disclosed your abuse then you obviously trusted this person and should have been met with honesty.
I would advise seeking therapy if you haven't already. In terms of the couple I think you have done the right thing for you by walking away. You can't make people see things from your perspective, you can share your feelings, which you have and hope that they won't do this to anyone else
You have been betrayed because you should have had all the information to make an informed decision. As consenting adults there isn't a legal obligation for disclosure but there is a moral one. If you disclosed your abuse then you obviously trusted this person and should have been met with honesty.
I would advise seeking therapy if you haven't already. In terms of the couple I think you have done the right thing for you by walking away. You can't make people see things from your perspective, you can share your feelings, which you have and hope that they won't do this to anyone else