Social Workers
Notifications OFF
I wonder if anyone has any experience of this. I'm doubting myself so much this evening. We had the knock 3 weeks ago and my husband has been bailed pending investigation. He's not allowed to the house or to see my 15 year old daughter but there are no restrictions on my seeing him to try and sort things out.
Our social worker has been around twice and last time he asked me some questions I found it hard to answer including what was the nature of my relationship with him and was I supporting him? I said I was trying to support him to work through his recovery (he is doing the Lucy modules and trying to get on an Inform course) but the Sw said I mustn't be the driver of this (I don't think I am, he's doing it on his own.) Anyway, after the meeting I felt a bit paranoid as I thought the SW felt I was kind of colluding with him or something.
I then had the wind put up me further by finding out that the fact husband hadn't been given access was quite unusual. That got me really worried and I was getting so paranoid that SS didn't think I was a safe enough parent.
So today my huband got notified by the police that he's allowed access but only in a public place under my supervision. That's great and a big relief. The reason no notification by now is that police officer was on annual leave.
But they also stipulated he wasn't allowed to the house (to pick up stuff etc) without arranging a police escort. This seemed slightly harsh and has anyone ever heard of it and how does it work logistically?
Now I come to the crux. I hadn't heard anything from the social worker so I built up my courage to give him a ring and tell him what I'd heard and ask him if he knew when his next visit would be. And I took the opportunity to stress once again how much I was putting my daughter first and how I totally realised the seriousness of my husbands crimes. I felt like I was protesting too much and that I may have doone my case more harm than good. He commented that my husband kept me "very well-informed" of his dealing with the police, and that he had been intending to speak to us about it. (Though he then said he's had no intention of visiting this week and was just aiming on talking to my daughter at school).
I suppose I'm just seeking some reassurance really. Ha anyone got any thoughts. Sorry about length. First time I've posted and hard to get my thoughts straight.
Our social worker has been around twice and last time he asked me some questions I found it hard to answer including what was the nature of my relationship with him and was I supporting him? I said I was trying to support him to work through his recovery (he is doing the Lucy modules and trying to get on an Inform course) but the Sw said I mustn't be the driver of this (I don't think I am, he's doing it on his own.) Anyway, after the meeting I felt a bit paranoid as I thought the SW felt I was kind of colluding with him or something.
I then had the wind put up me further by finding out that the fact husband hadn't been given access was quite unusual. That got me really worried and I was getting so paranoid that SS didn't think I was a safe enough parent.
So today my huband got notified by the police that he's allowed access but only in a public place under my supervision. That's great and a big relief. The reason no notification by now is that police officer was on annual leave.
But they also stipulated he wasn't allowed to the house (to pick up stuff etc) without arranging a police escort. This seemed slightly harsh and has anyone ever heard of it and how does it work logistically?
Now I come to the crux. I hadn't heard anything from the social worker so I built up my courage to give him a ring and tell him what I'd heard and ask him if he knew when his next visit would be. And I took the opportunity to stress once again how much I was putting my daughter first and how I totally realised the seriousness of my husbands crimes. I felt like I was protesting too much and that I may have doone my case more harm than good. He commented that my husband kept me "very well-informed" of his dealing with the police, and that he had been intending to speak to us about it. (Though he then said he's had no intention of visiting this week and was just aiming on talking to my daughter at school).
I suppose I'm just seeking some reassurance really. Ha anyone got any thoughts. Sorry about length. First time I've posted and hard to get my thoughts straight.
Sorry, me again. I just wanted to add that this sw is in every other way kind and calm and gets on well with my daughter.
I suppose I'm concerned that he wants me to stop seeing husband though he hasn't said this at all--my paranoia.
I suppose I'm concerned that he wants me to stop seeing husband though he hasn't said this at all--my paranoia.
Oh thankyou so much poster I have been reading your many kind and encouraging posts on this forum. Thankyou for posting so quick--the trouble with posting is that then you get quite obsessed with looking to see if anyone's replied!
I haven't actually had to sign anything yet? At what kind of stage does that happen?
I do think what's been put in place is fine. It's just my paranoia about being not considered a safe mum.
As you say, we know we are!
Hope xx
I haven't actually had to sign anything yet? At what kind of stage does that happen?
I do think what's been put in place is fine. It's just my paranoia about being not considered a safe mum.
As you say, we know we are!
Hope xx
Thanks so much, poster. You've hit the nail on the head with the surrealness. I feel like I've been thrust straight into this surreal world where I don't know any of the rules...
It's so good to read you think I'm doing OK xx
It's so good to read you think I'm doing OK xx