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Hello all,
i came on this forum in desperation and found everyone so helpful, kind and supportive, however a few new members have popped up on the forum who i feel have some hidden agendas.... i no longer feel safe here.....my life has been traumatised enough over the last 2 years i dont need any more grief by reading some inappropriate and rude posts by a minority who have an axe to grind with the powers to be!
thanks to everyone that has given me the support and kindness in my hour of need, i will be leaving the form
Best wishes for everyone
i came on this forum in desperation and found everyone so helpful, kind and supportive, however a few new members have popped up on the forum who i feel have some hidden agendas.... i no longer feel safe here.....my life has been traumatised enough over the last 2 years i dont need any more grief by reading some inappropriate and rude posts by a minority who have an axe to grind with the powers to be!
thanks to everyone that has given me the support and kindness in my hour of need, i will be leaving the form
Best wishes for everyone
Oh fairandlovely
Please don't do that because of one or 2 people
The support in here is amazing generally although I do feel at the moment it's a little tainted with hidden agendas
Are you on Mumsnet? My user name is TB14
Please try and get support in other ways if not through here
Lots of love xx
Please don't do that because of one or 2 people
The support in here is amazing generally although I do feel at the moment it's a little tainted with hidden agendas
Are you on Mumsnet? My user name is TB14
Please try and get support in other ways if not through here
Lots of love xx
Fairandlovely,
Dont let one or 2 people make you leave. 99.9% of the people on here are very supportive. I hope you are ok and do take care of yourself. Hugs, Sea x
Dont let one or 2 people make you leave. 99.9% of the people on here are very supportive. I hope you are ok and do take care of yourself. Hugs, Sea x
Am I one of the people that is being referred to? I am new and I have strong views. I am going through hell, and my way of trying to deal with things is to try and make sense of them. And this whole process makes no sense.
I will come off this forum if that's the case. As I had hoped that the forum would be a safe place to talk about all our concerns. We are all suffering grief. Part of that is feeling anger. It's ok to be angry. We may feel angry about different things. I sadly, and not a mum or grandma but I can emphaise with how hard it is with Social Servicea restrictions, and I feel hurt and anger for people going through difficulties. It seems acceptable to be angry about that, but not for the justice system.
I am on my own. My husband cannot be in the area. People who are supporting me can't know how the system is treating us. As far as others are concerned, he is a sexual offender. He's crossed the line. I had hoped for this safe space to be somewhere where I could share my views. Which may of course change over time. But I can't do this is I am causing others distress. That's not my intention at all. I am in tears at this point, as again I am feeling judged by others.
I will come off this forum if that's the case. As I had hoped that the forum would be a safe place to talk about all our concerns. We are all suffering grief. Part of that is feeling anger. It's ok to be angry. We may feel angry about different things. I sadly, and not a mum or grandma but I can emphaise with how hard it is with Social Servicea restrictions, and I feel hurt and anger for people going through difficulties. It seems acceptable to be angry about that, but not for the justice system.
I am on my own. My husband cannot be in the area. People who are supporting me can't know how the system is treating us. As far as others are concerned, he is a sexual offender. He's crossed the line. I had hoped for this safe space to be somewhere where I could share my views. Which may of course change over time. But I can't do this is I am causing others distress. That's not my intention at all. I am in tears at this point, as again I am feeling judged by others.
Tabs
I've read a fair few of your messages and I don't believe it's you on here that is making it unsafe. I do feel like there is at least one person on here making me feel unsafe but it isn't you. I have only been on here a few weeks and I have found so much support. You can stay on here it is a good place of support 99.9% of the time. Big virtual hugs. X
I've read a fair few of your messages and I don't believe it's you on here that is making it unsafe. I do feel like there is at least one person on here making me feel unsafe but it isn't you. I have only been on here a few weeks and I have found so much support. You can stay on here it is a good place of support 99.9% of the time. Big virtual hugs. X
Hi Tabs
It isn't you my lovely, I'm just going to put it out there
I feel it's Class31 who is making others feel unsupported and uncomfortable which is a huge shame as we could support her too if only she would let us and not be quite so radical and forthright
You're doing so well Tabs, this whole situation is absolutely awful for everyone involved in it and the support so limited for people. Is hate to think people would leave our feel unsafe
Lots of love xx
It isn't you my lovely, I'm just going to put it out there
I feel it's Class31 who is making others feel unsupported and uncomfortable which is a huge shame as we could support her too if only she would let us and not be quite so radical and forthright
You're doing so well Tabs, this whole situation is absolutely awful for everyone involved in it and the support so limited for people. Is hate to think people would leave our feel unsafe
Lots of love xx
Tabs - as I've already said - your situation resonated with me probably the most out of what I've read. I most certainly haven't found your posts to be anything but supportive. But that's just me. Sadly , class 31 is feeling very angry and is lashing out all over (and she/he has a point but it's being expressed in a way that's a little hurtful to people already hurting). Love to you all on this forum. I find it really helpful to link up to folk who really do know what I'm going through. I'm not sure how successful I'm going to be with mumsnet.
Tutleymutley
If you go on your phone top right there is normally a head for your profile if you click on that and inbox it will then show at the bottom a menu to send messages or to reply to the ones you have.
Poobear86 is my name if you or anyone wants to get on touch
If you go on your phone top right there is normally a head for your profile if you click on that and inbox it will then show at the bottom a menu to send messages or to reply to the ones you have.
Poobear86 is my name if you or anyone wants to get on touch
Going out now - but I'll try that later. Ta!
The only agenda is that the authorities are not doing the right thing to stop IIOC in the first place.If everyone sits around and washes their hands of that then these nightmares will never stop.I should like to see it stopped and have some ideas which I am not prepared to post on here but to my mind they are very obvious.
I have read with horror at what is going on and what is happening to the innocents in all this and my heart does go out to all of you.Also,you have to ask yourself "what other "crime" on first offence ruins several lives ?" (Apart from the obvious,murder etc.),and even then it does not ruin the lives of innocents.
I have read with horror at what is going on and what is happening to the innocents in all this and my heart does go out to all of you.Also,you have to ask yourself "what other "crime" on first offence ruins several lives ?" (Apart from the obvious,murder etc.),and even then it does not ruin the lives of innocents.
Class 31
Are you actually serious that you reply that to this thread?
Have you ever been in this situation as a family member?
The first post on this thread said they wanted to leave the SUPPORT forum because of comments. And with all honesty made by you!! You are on the wrong place to air your views. Leave all the people on here alone with your agenda. This is not the place for it. We have all been through the most horrific experience in our lives and comments like you have been posting are ruining the only support network some people have. Have some consideration to that please.
Are you actually serious that you reply that to this thread?
Have you ever been in this situation as a family member?
The first post on this thread said they wanted to leave the SUPPORT forum because of comments. And with all honesty made by you!! You are on the wrong place to air your views. Leave all the people on here alone with your agenda. This is not the place for it. We have all been through the most horrific experience in our lives and comments like you have been posting are ruining the only support network some people have. Have some consideration to that please.
Tabs, i hav not signalled anyone out, who am i do that? I suffered in silence for 2 years until i found this forum, people on here gave me sound advice without which i could have really messed up my job prospects, people share thier knoweldge of things that i didnt know as i have never had to deal with these kind of situations in my entire life, i felt safe sharing my situation, i felt confident that my confidentiality would be perserved, i have suffered enough already, i dont want to be an actvist, i dont want any unnecessary contact with the police or any organisation, i am trying to get my life back on track again. I have family but in my culture you dont share these kind of things as on the face of it family will feel sorry for the situation but within seconds will be gossiping with each other and making a mountain out of a mole hill! I have supported my husband through this nightmare as he is genuinely remorseful, has made 110% effort to change, get support and be honest from the word go, however this supporting him alone has taken its toll om me to the point of near breakdown when DBS were going to disclose on my application which is the point i came to this forum and discovered the wonderful supportive people on here.
Ladies my apologies if i hurt anyone's feelings however i an no longer confident about confidentiality on the forum anymore and hence will stay in touch via mumsnet
thank you
Ladies my apologies if i hurt anyone's feelings however i an no longer confident about confidentiality on the forum anymore and hence will stay in touch via mumsnet
thank you
Fair and Lovely, I wish this forum was around when my husband was charged. It has been a great support even years after. I hope you find some comfort in knowing I will help wherever I can.
I have tried really hard to stay quiet on the matter if Lucy Faithful not doing enough to stop IIOC. I am a calm person but after seeing so much drivel I feel now I must voice my opinion. Stop It Now/Lucy Faithful saved me in my darkest times. They saved my husband. Can they remove every image? No. Are they doing what they can with the resources they have? Too right they are! These images are everywhere, uploaded to hundreds and hundreds of sites, sharing sites and downloaded to hard copy. In my area a worker within the police copied all these images they recieved for court cases and distributed them. No one can stop it all in an instant. This crime has been around for so long, some images people are viewing even now are from decades ago and have found there way back into offenders hands. They are doing everything they can to stop it and by claiming they ate not helpful can only mean that they have never recieved support from any of the workers.
My husband committed an offence, only one. He is autistic. Did he deserve prison? I dont think so as it was too short a sentence to have any use. Did he deserve punishment? ABSOLUTELY! I have been through a lot of crap in my life, sexual assault, self harm, mental abuse just to name a few but nothing has hit me harder than when my husband was charged. Without the support I recieved I would still be under the illusion of what we are told to believe. The helpline says at as it is. No one can stop these images instantly but by just stopping a few and educating offenders, comforting the family they are doing a damn good job.
As with in real life, not forum life. If no one has anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Let us support each other, grieve together and learn things we need to know.
Phew, sorry folks. I am always here to help wherever I can. I survived the knock, the harrassment, the media and loads inbetween. If I can help just shout! I'm on mumsnet too and would love to hear from you all. Stay safe my friends x
I have tried really hard to stay quiet on the matter if Lucy Faithful not doing enough to stop IIOC. I am a calm person but after seeing so much drivel I feel now I must voice my opinion. Stop It Now/Lucy Faithful saved me in my darkest times. They saved my husband. Can they remove every image? No. Are they doing what they can with the resources they have? Too right they are! These images are everywhere, uploaded to hundreds and hundreds of sites, sharing sites and downloaded to hard copy. In my area a worker within the police copied all these images they recieved for court cases and distributed them. No one can stop it all in an instant. This crime has been around for so long, some images people are viewing even now are from decades ago and have found there way back into offenders hands. They are doing everything they can to stop it and by claiming they ate not helpful can only mean that they have never recieved support from any of the workers.
My husband committed an offence, only one. He is autistic. Did he deserve prison? I dont think so as it was too short a sentence to have any use. Did he deserve punishment? ABSOLUTELY! I have been through a lot of crap in my life, sexual assault, self harm, mental abuse just to name a few but nothing has hit me harder than when my husband was charged. Without the support I recieved I would still be under the illusion of what we are told to believe. The helpline says at as it is. No one can stop these images instantly but by just stopping a few and educating offenders, comforting the family they are doing a damn good job.
As with in real life, not forum life. If no one has anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Let us support each other, grieve together and learn things we need to know.
Phew, sorry folks. I am always here to help wherever I can. I survived the knock, the harrassment, the media and loads inbetween. If I can help just shout! I'm on mumsnet too and would love to hear from you all. Stay safe my friends x
Well said Sallyblue. Can I ask what you username on mumsnet is as it would be good to chat to someone who is post conviction about life afterwards.
Well said Sally....
My husband has gone to pieces... Yes he deserved punishment... However people are very judgemental, he's lost the majority of his family and all of his children and grandchildren... But I love him... I married for better or worse... There are times when I could hit him with a brick for causing this nightmare but he's remorseful and broken.
This forum has been a godsend... and your comments about the first Christmas together after 5 years with family gave me hope.. I pray one day his children will forgive him before its too late... Thank you for the message...
My husband has gone to pieces... Yes he deserved punishment... However people are very judgemental, he's lost the majority of his family and all of his children and grandchildren... But I love him... I married for better or worse... There are times when I could hit him with a brick for causing this nightmare but he's remorseful and broken.
This forum has been a godsend... and your comments about the first Christmas together after 5 years with family gave me hope.. I pray one day his children will forgive him before its too late... Thank you for the message...
mjl73 My mumsnet username is BlueSally. Message anytime.
Snowdrop, Time heals. My sister hasn't forgiven my husband, not for his offenses but for the pain he put me through. She is very defensive of me. No matter how old we get I am still her baby sister. I hope your family unites again x
Snowdrop, Time heals. My sister hasn't forgiven my husband, not for his offenses but for the pain he put me through. She is very defensive of me. No matter how old we get I am still her baby sister. I hope your family unites again x
Sallyblue
You are one special lady, you've just said everything else we all wanted to say and needed to hear
Take care my friend xx
You are one special lady, you've just said everything else we all wanted to say and needed to hear
Take care my friend xx
Good morning,
We understand that there have been some concerns regarding some of the posts and users on the forum lately, and this has made the environment feel unsafe for some. We are really sorry to hear this, our intention has been to create a safe, inclusive and non-judgemental space to seek support from each other.
In response to this, we have deleted a user of concern.
The forum is moderated continuously, but we do appreciate users reporting anything that they may find concerning or inappropriate and we endeavour to respond to these reports promptly with the appropriate action.
If you have any concerns or want to discuss this any further please do call us on our helpline (0808 1000 900) or alternatively email us at forum@lucyfaithfull.org.uk.
Best wishes,
Lucy
We understand that there have been some concerns regarding some of the posts and users on the forum lately, and this has made the environment feel unsafe for some. We are really sorry to hear this, our intention has been to create a safe, inclusive and non-judgemental space to seek support from each other.
In response to this, we have deleted a user of concern.
The forum is moderated continuously, but we do appreciate users reporting anything that they may find concerning or inappropriate and we endeavour to respond to these reports promptly with the appropriate action.
If you have any concerns or want to discuss this any further please do call us on our helpline (0808 1000 900) or alternatively email us at forum@lucyfaithfull.org.uk.
Best wishes,
Lucy
Thank you Lucy.