Just a little update on life going on…
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Hello lovely people. I just wanted to update you as I've posted some fairly despairing, hopeless/helpless things since the knock on 4th June.
My person was arrested following chat w/decoy, he's been very candid that it wasn't the only illegal conversation that look place on Snapchat/kik/god knows what.
I'm now 6 months down the line. My person has moved out thanks to the incredible generosity of dear friends, who could see me shrinking and crumbling by the day and were financially able to assist.
Even more unbelievably, I'm 3 weeks into a phased return to work and am absolutely loving it! I never thought I'd be able to log back in without feeling absolutely terrified, partly because the job is bananas (public sector civil defence lawyer) and possibly partly because I was logged in from home at 6.30am when the knock happened, and I think that's carried some negative power for me.
I'm enjoying getting dressed, going into the office, talking to colleagues, some of whom know what happened, and using my brain again. I need to be super careful to pace myself, and am working my way up to doing 'school hours' from January. I don't know how I'll handle the next step (second interview, charges, etc) but I've got a steady hand on the tiller right now. My children are starting to get used to things and I'm able to recognise and take pride in my abilities as a mum, lawyer, friend etc.
I have no doubt I'll be posting desperate sad hopeless things again over the course of the journey, but I wanted to share some bright glimmers of hope, so others can take comfort.
My person was arrested following chat w/decoy, he's been very candid that it wasn't the only illegal conversation that look place on Snapchat/kik/god knows what.
I'm now 6 months down the line. My person has moved out thanks to the incredible generosity of dear friends, who could see me shrinking and crumbling by the day and were financially able to assist.
Even more unbelievably, I'm 3 weeks into a phased return to work and am absolutely loving it! I never thought I'd be able to log back in without feeling absolutely terrified, partly because the job is bananas (public sector civil defence lawyer) and possibly partly because I was logged in from home at 6.30am when the knock happened, and I think that's carried some negative power for me.
I'm enjoying getting dressed, going into the office, talking to colleagues, some of whom know what happened, and using my brain again. I need to be super careful to pace myself, and am working my way up to doing 'school hours' from January. I don't know how I'll handle the next step (second interview, charges, etc) but I've got a steady hand on the tiller right now. My children are starting to get used to things and I'm able to recognise and take pride in my abilities as a mum, lawyer, friend etc.
I have no doubt I'll be posting desperate sad hopeless things again over the course of the journey, but I wanted to share some bright glimmers of hope, so others can take comfort.
Lisa x
What a lovely inspirational post
Firstly well done to you for getting back in to your highly pressurized job, juggling the children also
Look at how far you have come , that is down to your inner strength
The road ahead is full of anticipation, the uncertainty of the outcome , however never forget who you are as a person, this journey is not something we would ever want to be on, but we do our best to get through each day at a time xx
If ever it seems overwhelming remember we are here xx
You are amazing xx
What a lovely inspirational post
Firstly well done to you for getting back in to your highly pressurized job, juggling the children also
Look at how far you have come , that is down to your inner strength
The road ahead is full of anticipation, the uncertainty of the outcome , however never forget who you are as a person, this journey is not something we would ever want to be on, but we do our best to get through each day at a time xx
If ever it seems overwhelming remember we are here xx
You are amazing xx
Lisa,
Thank you for sharing. Congratulations at getting a piece of yourself back.
Thank you for sharing. Congratulations at getting a piece of yourself back.
Thank you for posting this, you really have made me feel inspired! I'm so glad life is getting back to normal for you!
Oh I'm so pleased Spell. How far down the line are you?
I thought going back to work was impossible, but I managed it after 'only' 6 months off!
There are so many pieces of jigsaw that needed to be in place before it felt 'safe' to try. My youngest had to feel more secure in school, my person had to move out, I had to undertake A LOT of therapy which will be ongoing for a while. Best advice my therapist gave about work is that my employer will be happier with me giving a consistent 60%, as opposed to 150% some weeks and 0% the next as I'm exhausted / burnt out.
sending a big hug to all you lovely ladies whose stories, courage, kindness and support is literally vital to all xx
I thought going back to work was impossible, but I managed it after 'only' 6 months off!
There are so many pieces of jigsaw that needed to be in place before it felt 'safe' to try. My youngest had to feel more secure in school, my person had to move out, I had to undertake A LOT of therapy which will be ongoing for a while. Best advice my therapist gave about work is that my employer will be happier with me giving a consistent 60%, as opposed to 150% some weeks and 0% the next as I'm exhausted / burnt out.
sending a big hug to all you lovely ladies whose stories, courage, kindness and support is literally vital to all xx
Lovely to hear your story.
We got the knock in July 22. I ended my marriage shortly before he was sent to prison. He is now out and we have some contact. We still have the marital home to sell so we both can move on. I don't hate him although I'm sad for what I have lost.
But I have the most amazing support network of friends who include me in stuff. I enjoy being able to do as I please without having to consult anyone else.
I've taken up new hobbies and met lots of new people and had new experiences.
I have even dipped my toe back in the dating scene and do you know what - after initial fears and nerves it's actually good fun.
I won't deny I still have rough days and worry about what the future holds - on the whole I'm enjoying life. Never thought back in 22 or even 6 or 12 months ago I would be feeling like this.
There is life after the knock. It takes a while to get there. We don't need to let this ruin the rest of our lives.
We got the knock in July 22. I ended my marriage shortly before he was sent to prison. He is now out and we have some contact. We still have the marital home to sell so we both can move on. I don't hate him although I'm sad for what I have lost.
But I have the most amazing support network of friends who include me in stuff. I enjoy being able to do as I please without having to consult anyone else.
I've taken up new hobbies and met lots of new people and had new experiences.
I have even dipped my toe back in the dating scene and do you know what - after initial fears and nerves it's actually good fun.
I won't deny I still have rough days and worry about what the future holds - on the whole I'm enjoying life. Never thought back in 22 or even 6 or 12 months ago I would be feeling like this.
There is life after the knock. It takes a while to get there. We don't need to let this ruin the rest of our lives.