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16 year old arrested

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Broken hearted mum

Member since
December 2024

2 posts

Posted Tue December 17, 2024 12:19pmReport post

Hi I'm new and never posted before

Beginning of December my 16yo was arrested as a social media platform had reported his account for having iioc category A he was 15 at the time and one image was of someone the similar age as him there was only 2 images on the acc and 2 images he's been arrested for. This has broken us as a family, myself and my husband (not biological father) are more like enemies now I 100% blame myself as I should of kept more of an eye on him

My son is Autistic and struggling with being gay he's got body issues and was constantly comparing himself to other boys and men and I feel he fell into this dark place by exploring other male bodies. I don't condone his behaviour at all he can't live with us as we have children under 16, it's all too much atm as I'm terrified of this getting out in the media and our lives being up rooted we would have to move

anyway thank you for reading just wanting to know I'm not alone and if there are any other parents of under 18s that can offer advice

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

139 posts

Posted Tue December 17, 2024 12:44pmReport post

I am sorry to hear this, sending you all strength. I am not a parent or a lawyer but from what I have seen:

The police tend to be less heavy-handed with minors exploring their sexuality with other minors especially if there isn't much of an age gap and he's clearly not doing this with hundreds of images. It would be easier to justify it was a picture of a boyfriend or someone he knew in real life and they were flirting etc. But I think a similar argument could be made in this case if he's gay and coming to terms with his sexuality without any peers to do it with. It doesn't guarantee they will drop it but I would get a solicitor now and try and nudge police and the CPS in the direction of this not being in the public interest to prosecute. Because, realistically, it isn't.

Edited Tue December 17, 2024 12:46pm

Crushed

Member since
July 2024

108 posts

Posted Tue December 17, 2024 1:28pmReport post

Hi, I am mom of an under 16 in this situation also. Just wondering if someone has said your son cannot live at home? As ours still is and we have younger children.

It is so hard at the beginning, try and take comfort in each other with your husband and take each day at a time. It does get easier. It is such a terrible shock at the beginning, especially if you think you have a normal and good life!

Thinking of you x

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

40 posts

Posted Tue December 17, 2024 9:17pmReport post

Hi my person is 16yrs old we had knock end of last July and like you it turned our world upside down.

We have no idea exactly what our son is accused of other than iioc had been viewed at our address under his log in. We have a feeling it may relate to snapchat because he reported things on their and one did come back as being accepted to violate. My concern is I thought snapchat is images people send you.

We've been told 12 months just for devices to be checked. But I'm praying it sooner because don't want it dragged to him nearing 18. The actual incident just on stuff we picked up happened when he was 15.

We have so many questions running through our head.

Broken hearted mum

Member since
December 2024

2 posts

Posted Sat December 21, 2024 12:51pmReport post

Thank you everyone for your replies



its so hard to look at the future. Yes he's been totally removed from the family home and we have been granted a day visit for Xmas day only so he can come home Xmas but but has to return to bail address in the evening

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

40 posts

Posted Sat December 21, 2024 9:46pmReport post

It interesting how the level of information the police gives varies in every case. We picked up on bits the police said and feel they are searching more for a particular image last october but the told us nothing specific. Thats why we think snapchat that he had for school. But like I said before he reported several things on snapchat and one was accepted as a violation. My son is allowed to stay at home despite having a younger sibling. I personally feel my son is an easy target for police stats.