SS and school
Notifications OFF
Morning my friends,
Can anyone help me understand what happens when SS get involved with the safeguarding lead at the school. How much information do they give them about the case? Will I be asked in for a meeting? Will they definitely want to speak to the kids - or as my OH doesn't live with us will that make a difference? I live in a small close village community, the headteacher is brilliant and I have a huge amount of respect for him, but fear I'll be judged. I only live round the corner from the school, will this mean my OH will no longer be able to visit my address when they found out he's on the SOR?
Any advice, experiences and thoughts welcomed xx
Can anyone help me understand what happens when SS get involved with the safeguarding lead at the school. How much information do they give them about the case? Will I be asked in for a meeting? Will they definitely want to speak to the kids - or as my OH doesn't live with us will that make a difference? I live in a small close village community, the headteacher is brilliant and I have a huge amount of respect for him, but fear I'll be judged. I only live round the corner from the school, will this mean my OH will no longer be able to visit my address when they found out he's on the SOR?
Any advice, experiences and thoughts welcomed xx
Hi, what stage are you at? If you're at investigation stage the school will receive pretty minimal information. If your OH has been charged they will likely be told what he has been charged with. Ss informed the safeguarding lead at my sons school but school never called me in. It was during covid so we were put on a list for a welfare check in call either weekly or fortnightly, I can't remember but it was a very basic how is everyone coping with being at home nothing about ss involvement etc.
I have had interactions with my daughters school since she started in September but thankfully they've been rational and dad is allowed on the premises with me supervising. A massive part of safeguarding is confidentiality so regardless of whether everyone knows everyone in the village it should remain confidential. I hope this puts your mind at ease xxx
I have had interactions with my daughters school since she started in September but thankfully they've been rational and dad is allowed on the premises with me supervising. A massive part of safeguarding is confidentiality so regardless of whether everyone knows everyone in the village it should remain confidential. I hope this puts your mind at ease xxx
That's very reassuring thank you. My OH received charges end of November but we've not heard anything as yet, no contact at all from SS although equally and curiously he's never been asked about his relationship status since his initial arrest. He has ADHD and sub threshold autism so isn't great at dealing with stressful situations and clams up, so unless he was asked to inform in the future diring the time of his arrest, I'm just not sure and he's adamant he wasn't.
Our story although isn't unique I know it might be rarer, in that we met a couple of months after his arrest. He was totally upfront with me, told me on our second date because we knew we'd found something special. That was 15 months ago. He only met my children (my choice) after being together 6 months and after I had heard/seen the outcome of a psychological assessment, accompanied him to Leeds to complete the Safer Lives programme and also hearing the thoughts of his specialist sex addiction counsellor and the solicitor. Over time he has spent a bit more time at mine, but not excessively because we want to spend time together, just the two of us - not with kids in tow! I would never leave him unsupervised and he has never stayed overnight with them in the house. He has been hugely respectful of my boundaries and never behaved or said anything that would be cause for concern.
During the last 15 months with all interactions with the police - all of which I have attended with him, the OIC hasn't asked who I was or what our relationship status was - even though it's obvious we're a couple. My OH has never been asked about new relationships or told that he needed to notify anyone if he was. So as far as we were aware - if we were abiding by the bail conditions and I was managing things safely, and of course as he doesn't live with me, then we thought that's why SS wouldn't need to be involved.
Fast forward to today, charged end of November and then gave his guilty plea and signed on the SOR on 5 December. He's still waiting for the police to do their follow up visit from the SOR, which is when we know SS will need to make contact as he will obviously tell them that he spends time at my address. That hasn't happened yet and we're creeping ever closer to Christmas. I'll be attending his probation interview on the 23rd with him so again (now that he'll have a probation officer assigned) that might be when it happens.
So that's where we are ....I've been in limbo deciding whether to reach out to SS in advance or just wait for the process to kick in. I know I've not done anything wrong, but it does feel as though (from what I'm reading here) that things should probably have been picked up by now.
Xxx
Our story although isn't unique I know it might be rarer, in that we met a couple of months after his arrest. He was totally upfront with me, told me on our second date because we knew we'd found something special. That was 15 months ago. He only met my children (my choice) after being together 6 months and after I had heard/seen the outcome of a psychological assessment, accompanied him to Leeds to complete the Safer Lives programme and also hearing the thoughts of his specialist sex addiction counsellor and the solicitor. Over time he has spent a bit more time at mine, but not excessively because we want to spend time together, just the two of us - not with kids in tow! I would never leave him unsupervised and he has never stayed overnight with them in the house. He has been hugely respectful of my boundaries and never behaved or said anything that would be cause for concern.
During the last 15 months with all interactions with the police - all of which I have attended with him, the OIC hasn't asked who I was or what our relationship status was - even though it's obvious we're a couple. My OH has never been asked about new relationships or told that he needed to notify anyone if he was. So as far as we were aware - if we were abiding by the bail conditions and I was managing things safely, and of course as he doesn't live with me, then we thought that's why SS wouldn't need to be involved.
Fast forward to today, charged end of November and then gave his guilty plea and signed on the SOR on 5 December. He's still waiting for the police to do their follow up visit from the SOR, which is when we know SS will need to make contact as he will obviously tell them that he spends time at my address. That hasn't happened yet and we're creeping ever closer to Christmas. I'll be attending his probation interview on the 23rd with him so again (now that he'll have a probation officer assigned) that might be when it happens.
So that's where we are ....I've been in limbo deciding whether to reach out to SS in advance or just wait for the process to kick in. I know I've not done anything wrong, but it does feel as though (from what I'm reading here) that things should probably have been picked up by now.
Xxx
Personally I'd strongly advise you contact social services yourself and inform them, if they get told by someone else that could look worse on you further down the line. Or atleast disclose it to the police otherwise they may accuse you of hiding it. Other than that the school have been pretty relaxed to be fair they know everything but they have no concerns about the children. Social services on the other hand, complete new ball game hahaha
Yes I think that might be wise, we'll speak to the probation service on Monday and explain we were expecting to be contacted after he'd registered on the SOR but haven't heard anything yet and wanted to have the discussion to find out what we need to do from here. Thank you ! Xx