Does anyone regret staying in the relationship
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This is my first post but I have been obsessively reading through posts on the site for the last few months.
My situation is a bit strange as my now ex partner (25 years together) live at separate addresses, always have. We have a daughter together who lives with me and is now over 18.
He got the knock in August 2023, but managed to keep it all from us until he appeared in court in October 2024. He still didn't tell us, a third party who worked in the court told me. I laughed it off as a joke, I thought it couldn't possibly be true but I confronted him and he fell apart and admitted it to me and our daughter, I think we went into shock. I just can't believe that the man I thought I knew and loved has been hiding this awful secret life. He has constantly lied about the charges, the ages, the amount of IIOC found that I really can't believe a word out of his mouth anymore. I finished our relationship immediately as I was horrified by not only the charges but the lies for the past 14 months since he was caught. I know I could never be with him again as the trust is gone. He is driving me mad with his poor me act though. I agreed not to tell friends the truth about why we split up, more to protect my daughter and I than him but people assume I've just left him on his own and are feeling sorry for him. Inviting him out so he's not lonely! Some days I feel so angry. We had, or so I thought, a good life, he was my best friend and I miss that. Not enough to forgive though.
When I read others posts it feels like most stand by their people, do any of you regret that decision?
he has now been sentenced 2 years suspended, 10 years SOR and SHPO and 240 community service. One of my biggest fears was the media circus that some of you have had to endure, somehow, there has been none, as yet,thank goodness.
My daughter and I have been to hell these last few months, I really don't know how many of you spend years in the state of anxiety, waiting so long for the legal process to conclude. I feel emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted but I also feel strong, if I can get through this, I can get through anything.
Sorry for such a long post
My situation is a bit strange as my now ex partner (25 years together) live at separate addresses, always have. We have a daughter together who lives with me and is now over 18.
He got the knock in August 2023, but managed to keep it all from us until he appeared in court in October 2024. He still didn't tell us, a third party who worked in the court told me. I laughed it off as a joke, I thought it couldn't possibly be true but I confronted him and he fell apart and admitted it to me and our daughter, I think we went into shock. I just can't believe that the man I thought I knew and loved has been hiding this awful secret life. He has constantly lied about the charges, the ages, the amount of IIOC found that I really can't believe a word out of his mouth anymore. I finished our relationship immediately as I was horrified by not only the charges but the lies for the past 14 months since he was caught. I know I could never be with him again as the trust is gone. He is driving me mad with his poor me act though. I agreed not to tell friends the truth about why we split up, more to protect my daughter and I than him but people assume I've just left him on his own and are feeling sorry for him. Inviting him out so he's not lonely! Some days I feel so angry. We had, or so I thought, a good life, he was my best friend and I miss that. Not enough to forgive though.
When I read others posts it feels like most stand by their people, do any of you regret that decision?
he has now been sentenced 2 years suspended, 10 years SOR and SHPO and 240 community service. One of my biggest fears was the media circus that some of you have had to endure, somehow, there has been none, as yet,thank goodness.
My daughter and I have been to hell these last few months, I really don't know how many of you spend years in the state of anxiety, waiting so long for the legal process to conclude. I feel emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted but I also feel strong, if I can get through this, I can get through anything.
Sorry for such a long post
I'm so sorry to read this. You have been through such a lot. I can hear your anger (been there - it is unfair - you have very good reason to feel rage) and perhaps loneliness in your asking about people who remained in their relationships. I questioned this myself many times but my ex husband was also someone who lied a lot. My understanding is that if a couple decided to stay together after the knock it is because of total honesty, often therapy, an equal power balance and acceptance that change needs to happen. It sounds like your ex is not that person (mine wasn't either). I got excuses, blame, lies and gaslighting. It's not about staying with them through the knock - it's about the knock presenting a situation where you see who they really are and that the person that is isn't a good partner. It's really hard when they have 2 sides - like you say the best friend side is sorely missed. But that cannot make up for the other side.
You sound like you make good choices xx I wish you all the best
You sound like you make good choices xx I wish you all the best
I totally agree with Cloud. I left at the knock and only decided to work on rebuilding our relationship after two years of seeing him actively work on himself. He still has therapy regularly, has engaged with courses to address his offending and we have had some challenging but honest conversations that were vital for change.
In your ex's case it seems like he still has an inability to see things from your perspective and expects some kind of unconditional love from you despite continuing to lie rather than facing the consequences of his actions. I hope that you and your daughter manage to heal from this. Sending love and support xxx
In your ex's case it seems like he still has an inability to see things from your perspective and expects some kind of unconditional love from you despite continuing to lie rather than facing the consequences of his actions. I hope that you and your daughter manage to heal from this. Sending love and support xxx
I stayed for quite a while wanting to believe what he was telling me. He had always been a bullshitter and telling white lies. I never thought too much about it.
More unrelated stuff came out just before he was sentenced which finally made me realise I couldn't believe a word he said. So I ended my long marriage.
Even in his release he told me what I believe is his biggest lie to date. I knew I had made the right decision and have very few regrets.
If anything I should have got out years ago but wasn't strong enough.
Who knows. Maybe the knock was a good thing....
More unrelated stuff came out just before he was sentenced which finally made me realise I couldn't believe a word he said. So I ended my long marriage.
Even in his release he told me what I believe is his biggest lie to date. I knew I had made the right decision and have very few regrets.
If anything I should have got out years ago but wasn't strong enough.
Who knows. Maybe the knock was a good thing....
I left, at first I supported as it seemed so out of character and he admitted what he'd been upto but had mitigating circumstances and insisted they would not find anything. At every stage there has been more revealed. At first he promised to work on himself but he hasn't been to his support meetings for weeks, he still hasn't registered for LFF course, still hasn't put the monitoring software on his phone, has since bought another non-brick phone and a games console. I understand he's bored but I'm not happy about these devices as I have no oversight or control of them. He hasn't challenged anything that I've pointed out is different to what he's told family.....he just seems to have lost all motivation, and doesn't realise how lucky he is to have any contact even though it's supervised. He's hardly told anyone we've split as has just been avoiding people so he doesn't have to tell them. And the only people he has told think the relationship just fizzled out. I'm raging as I've got the lions share of everything, what he's done massively affects my life, I'm having to jump through social services hoops because my child wants to see his dad. If I was being accused of this and stopped from living and seeing my child I'd be fighting tooth and nail. I've already done so much, courses, education, put restrictions at home internet etc, safeguarding, family plan, I've sorted out all the single parent finances, I've done all the Xmas presents. I've wiped the tears and sat up comforting when little one misses dad. I've lost hours of sleep worrying. I've made my decision I'm sticking to it, although I loved my person when this happened and was absolutely gobsmaked and couldn't believe what they'd done.....they have done it. The person I love wouldnt do that, I can't stay with someone who does this, who would lie to my face and keep such big and terrible secrets; a completely different side to them. The trust is gone and I still struggle to fathom how this could be the same person I've known for 30 years! You have to do what's best for you.
Thank you for your responses, it's just nice not to feel so alone. I know deep down that I have made the right decision for me but I wasn’t sure if it was a knee jerk reaction from the shock. For years I have been made to feel like I was the problem, too needy in wanting to talk about emotions etc, I think I stopped bothering to try with him. What I realise now is that he was the one with the problems and he is emotionally stunted. I can't change him and now, I don't want to, not my job.
It seems odd to me that suddenly when some of these men are caught, they're really sorry, my ex included. I know he knew what he was doing was wrong, we'd had open, honest (laugh) conversations about people who did this type of thing and the damage it causes the victims, I worked in a child protect team so had seen first hand. He condemned them, all the time he was offending, the absolute arrogance! But to me at the time, and everyone else who's ever met him you would think he's the nicest, kindest, calmest most trustworthy person in the world. It's so conflicting, but I'll give him this, he's a bloody good actor! He says he's just been really stupid and he's so sorry he's ruined his whole life but again, I feel like it's all about him, not what he's done to us and others. If he was truly sorry I feel he would have tried to get help before being caught, I feel he's just sorry that he was caught and has been held to account for his actions. He says he's working through the LFF modules and trying to get counselling and I've said "good, because if you don't there is a high chance you'll reoffend " to which he's said that will never happen.
I know I need to let go of the anger, it will only hurt me in the long run, and I will, but it might take a little time.
You are strong, amazing ladies, supporting each other and me, for that I am truly thankful
It seems odd to me that suddenly when some of these men are caught, they're really sorry, my ex included. I know he knew what he was doing was wrong, we'd had open, honest (laugh) conversations about people who did this type of thing and the damage it causes the victims, I worked in a child protect team so had seen first hand. He condemned them, all the time he was offending, the absolute arrogance! But to me at the time, and everyone else who's ever met him you would think he's the nicest, kindest, calmest most trustworthy person in the world. It's so conflicting, but I'll give him this, he's a bloody good actor! He says he's just been really stupid and he's so sorry he's ruined his whole life but again, I feel like it's all about him, not what he's done to us and others. If he was truly sorry I feel he would have tried to get help before being caught, I feel he's just sorry that he was caught and has been held to account for his actions. He says he's working through the LFF modules and trying to get counselling and I've said "good, because if you don't there is a high chance you'll reoffend " to which he's said that will never happen.
I know I need to let go of the anger, it will only hurt me in the long run, and I will, but it might take a little time.
You are strong, amazing ladies, supporting each other and me, for that I am truly thankful
That's a really good word that sums up a lot of it....conflicted. This is someone you love but you hate what they've done, you can't believe it but it's true, they're sorry but went and did it anyway, they say they've been honest but have lied up until being caught...sometimes after. It's a lot to get your head round.
I stayed. And now I deeply regret it, because we had another knock. Just as I thought our lives are getting back to normal, out of the blue, my world imploded again. And it's much worse than last time. My children are older too, so I really worry about the horrific impact this situation has on them. I feel old. Tired. Used. Stupid. And so very guilty for putting my children through this. I'm also angry at myself for missing him. The person I loved and spent two decades married to does not exist. . I never really knew the real him, have I?
Mumoftwo I do so sympathise with you. I also stayed and it happened again, and yes I regret my decision to trust, to rebuild and give a second chance. The fallout is so much worse having been made a complete fool of. My advice now would be to separate as soon as you learn the truth. I now realise that my person has had a lifetime's experience of concealing the truth and is very convincing. The kinder you are, the more you get hurt.
I don't regret my decision. I've still got to go through the trauma of selling the house, buying a new place then starting divorce proceedings. Won't lie it all scares the shit out of me. I'm dreading this Christmas alone but I know that next Christmas will be much better.
Everything takes time but we all need to put our own needs and those of our kids first - and be kind to ourselves.
Everything takes time but we all need to put our own needs and those of our kids first - and be kind to ourselves.
I initially kicked him out then tried to rebuild our relationship. He was full of remorse agreed to therapy etc. OIC didn't even know if there would be charges from CPS.
I fell pregnant & we then had sentancing. It was quite clear from the evidence I heard in court OH had lied & there was no way this was all an 'accident.'
I Still persevered trying to get him into therapy to address his issues. His life carried on as normal to a certain extent. Mine not so much. I was terribly burnt out from supervising with a young child & the media attention was awful and the knock on effects with problems with neighbours.
He then started with the denial in regards to his offending & gaslighting me.
I found him offending again & called the police myself.
I lost our marital home etc & have PTSD now. Honestly yes, I wish I had just walked away initially. But then I wouldn't have had my LO.
For all me & my little one have been through we are now very happy in our new home.
There was a post a few days ago asking are women too understanding? I think if you are an empathetic person it can very easily lead you to be manipulated. I would say to any women going through this to listen carefully to what their other halfs say.
To stay and make things work, there needs to be complete honesty, a willing to go through therapy (individually and as a couple) and a willingness to move forwards without ignoring the reasons behind the offending.
You hear alot about porn addiction leading to these offences & that can be very true. However there is also a percentage of men who will blame porn addiction to disguise their sexual interest in children. Unfortunately it's difficult to find out where the offender sits until more evidence comes to light. Therapy is available to both sets of persons if willing though
I highly recommend Circles for therapy.
Good luck. X
I fell pregnant & we then had sentancing. It was quite clear from the evidence I heard in court OH had lied & there was no way this was all an 'accident.'
I Still persevered trying to get him into therapy to address his issues. His life carried on as normal to a certain extent. Mine not so much. I was terribly burnt out from supervising with a young child & the media attention was awful and the knock on effects with problems with neighbours.
He then started with the denial in regards to his offending & gaslighting me.
I found him offending again & called the police myself.
I lost our marital home etc & have PTSD now. Honestly yes, I wish I had just walked away initially. But then I wouldn't have had my LO.
For all me & my little one have been through we are now very happy in our new home.
There was a post a few days ago asking are women too understanding? I think if you are an empathetic person it can very easily lead you to be manipulated. I would say to any women going through this to listen carefully to what their other halfs say.
To stay and make things work, there needs to be complete honesty, a willing to go through therapy (individually and as a couple) and a willingness to move forwards without ignoring the reasons behind the offending.
You hear alot about porn addiction leading to these offences & that can be very true. However there is also a percentage of men who will blame porn addiction to disguise their sexual interest in children. Unfortunately it's difficult to find out where the offender sits until more evidence comes to light. Therapy is available to both sets of persons if willing though
I highly recommend Circles for therapy.
Good luck. X
I initially kicked him out then tried to rebuild our relationship. He was full of remorse agreed to therapy etc. OIC didn't even know if there would be charges from CPS.
I fell pregnant & we then had sentancing. It was quite clear from the evidence I heard in court OH had lied & there was no way this was all an 'accident.'
I Still persevered trying to get him into therapy to address his issues. His life carried on as normal to a certain extent. Mine not so much. I was terribly burnt out from supervising with a young child & the media attention was awful and the knock on effects with problems with neighbours.
He then started with the denial in regards to his offending & gaslighting me.
I found him offending again & called the police myself.
I lost our marital home etc & have PTSD now. Honestly yes, I wish I had just walked away initially. But then I wouldn't have had my LO.
For all me & my little one have been through we are now very happy in our new home.
There was a post a few days ago asking are women too understanding? I think if you are an empathetic person it can very easily lead you to be manipulated. I would say to any women going through this to listen carefully to what their other halfs say.
To stay and make things work, there needs to be complete honesty, a willing to go through therapy (individually and as a couple) and a willingness to move forwards without ignoring the reasons behind the offending.
You hear alot about porn addiction leading to these offences & that can be very true. However there is also a percentage of men who will blame porn addiction to disguise their sexual interest in children. Unfortunately it's difficult to find out where the offender sits until more evidence comes to light. Therapy is available to both sets of persons if willing though
I highly recommend Circles for therapy.
Good luck. X
I fell pregnant & we then had sentancing. It was quite clear from the evidence I heard in court OH had lied & there was no way this was all an 'accident.'
I Still persevered trying to get him into therapy to address his issues. His life carried on as normal to a certain extent. Mine not so much. I was terribly burnt out from supervising with a young child & the media attention was awful and the knock on effects with problems with neighbours.
He then started with the denial in regards to his offending & gaslighting me.
I found him offending again & called the police myself.
I lost our marital home etc & have PTSD now. Honestly yes, I wish I had just walked away initially. But then I wouldn't have had my LO.
For all me & my little one have been through we are now very happy in our new home.
There was a post a few days ago asking are women too understanding? I think if you are an empathetic person it can very easily lead you to be manipulated. I would say to any women going through this to listen carefully to what their other halfs say.
To stay and make things work, there needs to be complete honesty, a willing to go through therapy (individually and as a couple) and a willingness to move forwards without ignoring the reasons behind the offending.
You hear alot about porn addiction leading to these offences & that can be very true. However there is also a percentage of men who will blame porn addiction to disguise their sexual interest in children. Unfortunately it's difficult to find out where the offender sits until more evidence comes to light. Therapy is available to both sets of persons if willing though
I highly recommend Circles for therapy.
Good luck. X
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for what you and your daughter have been through—your post truly broke my heart to read. The strength it takes to not only face something like this, but to share it publicly with others, is something I have deep respect for.
Your line about feeling like you’ve lost your best friend really hit me. I was with my former partner—who I’ll refer to as “Jean”—for around four years. Nowhere near the length of time you had, of course, but she was my best friend too. And in many ways, I think I stayed for as long as I did because I truly believed I was helping someone who was hurting. Like you, I was told a very edited version of events at first—one that presented her solely as a victim of past trauma. I loved her deeply, and I wanted to support her through that.
Over time, she began admitting far darker details to me. Things that didn’t match the narrative I’d first been told. Stories started to contradict each other. One moment she claimed she didn’t know the victims’ ages, the next she admitted she did—then tried to justify it by saying similar things had happened to her at that age, so she assumed it was “normal.” I can’t overstate how confusing and destabilising it is to receive that kind of information from someone you love and trust.
You titled your post “Does anyone regret staying in the relationship?” And I want to say, for me personally—no, I don’t regret staying. I stayed because I didn’t know the full truth. I was given a narrative, and I responded to what I was told with love and compassion. I tried to help. That’s not something I feel ashamed of. It’s something I feel proud of, even if the situation ended up being far darker than I ever expected.
Something that’s helped me in therapy, and that might help you too, is this: I wasn’t privy to the truth. I couldn’t have known what I wasn’t told. And when I was told—when the full extent of the harm and danger became clear—I acted accordingly. That’s helped me keep some kind of anchor. Some kind of sense of who I am. I imagine it might help you too. None of this is your fault. You did the best you could with the information you had. And the moment you were told the truth, you did what was right and necessary.
I also related strongly to what you said about people being kind to him because they don’t know the full truth. I experienced that too. There were professional environments where safeguarding was vital, and I saw her being embraced in those spaces. I knew they had no idea what she’d done—so I had to make the difficult decision to disclose it. It was never out of revenge. Just necessity. I didn’t want to ruin her life, but I couldn’t let her continue on in those settings without those people knowing what she was capable of.
And just like you, I stayed quiet for a long time to protect myself. But eventually I had to break that silence. The fallout from that decision has been heavy. She ran a misinformation campaign against me, claimed I had harassed her, and tried to paint herself as the victim. So your words really resonated—especially when you said you didn’t tell people, but now he’s being invited out and pitied. That same frustration lives in me too.
I want to echo what others have said: you’re not alone. I know how isolating it is. How strange it is to look at someone you shared a life with and realise they were living a secret existence all along. And even though I was only with Jean for four years, I felt something real. I saw a future. I gave her my best, and I grieve that future deeply—just as you said, “not enough to forgive though,” and I agree. There are some things that simply can’t be overlooked.
But just in reading your post, I could feel how strong you are. I truly hope that knowing others here understand helps lighten even a little of the weight you’ve been carrying.
With warmth and solidarity,
– Ashford Vale
Your line about feeling like you’ve lost your best friend really hit me. I was with my former partner—who I’ll refer to as “Jean”—for around four years. Nowhere near the length of time you had, of course, but she was my best friend too. And in many ways, I think I stayed for as long as I did because I truly believed I was helping someone who was hurting. Like you, I was told a very edited version of events at first—one that presented her solely as a victim of past trauma. I loved her deeply, and I wanted to support her through that.
Over time, she began admitting far darker details to me. Things that didn’t match the narrative I’d first been told. Stories started to contradict each other. One moment she claimed she didn’t know the victims’ ages, the next she admitted she did—then tried to justify it by saying similar things had happened to her at that age, so she assumed it was “normal.” I can’t overstate how confusing and destabilising it is to receive that kind of information from someone you love and trust.
You titled your post “Does anyone regret staying in the relationship?” And I want to say, for me personally—no, I don’t regret staying. I stayed because I didn’t know the full truth. I was given a narrative, and I responded to what I was told with love and compassion. I tried to help. That’s not something I feel ashamed of. It’s something I feel proud of, even if the situation ended up being far darker than I ever expected.
Something that’s helped me in therapy, and that might help you too, is this: I wasn’t privy to the truth. I couldn’t have known what I wasn’t told. And when I was told—when the full extent of the harm and danger became clear—I acted accordingly. That’s helped me keep some kind of anchor. Some kind of sense of who I am. I imagine it might help you too. None of this is your fault. You did the best you could with the information you had. And the moment you were told the truth, you did what was right and necessary.
I also related strongly to what you said about people being kind to him because they don’t know the full truth. I experienced that too. There were professional environments where safeguarding was vital, and I saw her being embraced in those spaces. I knew they had no idea what she’d done—so I had to make the difficult decision to disclose it. It was never out of revenge. Just necessity. I didn’t want to ruin her life, but I couldn’t let her continue on in those settings without those people knowing what she was capable of.
And just like you, I stayed quiet for a long time to protect myself. But eventually I had to break that silence. The fallout from that decision has been heavy. She ran a misinformation campaign against me, claimed I had harassed her, and tried to paint herself as the victim. So your words really resonated—especially when you said you didn’t tell people, but now he’s being invited out and pitied. That same frustration lives in me too.
I want to echo what others have said: you’re not alone. I know how isolating it is. How strange it is to look at someone you shared a life with and realise they were living a secret existence all along. And even though I was only with Jean for four years, I felt something real. I saw a future. I gave her my best, and I grieve that future deeply—just as you said, “not enough to forgive though,” and I agree. There are some things that simply can’t be overlooked.
But just in reading your post, I could feel how strong you are. I truly hope that knowing others here understand helps lighten even a little of the weight you’ve been carrying.
With warmth and solidarity,
– Ashford Vale
Hi, my husband of 30 years, 4 children, was sent to prison for 3 years for IIOC, first offence. He was completely honest with me about all the charges etc the day after the knock. Its appalling how you've been treated. My ex was a great husband and a phenomenal Dad but we divorced quite early on because he admitted having had an attraction to children from puberty, so for the entirety of our decades long relationship. Although we divorced, I decided to support him. I did so to show our children that just because someone does something wrong, even if it's illegal, you can show compassion. After he was released from prison, I let him back into my life as a friend and of course, he's still my children's Dad. I REALLY regret that. I can't stress that enough. He reoffended and is due to be sentenced soon. The first knock was 8 years ago. The second was 3 years ago and he's yet to be sentenced. He has utterly ruined my life, so much so that I'm now so ill that I have to have carers to help me shower etc. I wish I'd had the strength to walk away completely after the first knock.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through but for him to lie to you like he has, honestly, if you've got the strength and the means, walk away and rebuild your life with your daughter. I wish you both all the very best. X
I'm so sorry for what you're going through but for him to lie to you like he has, honestly, if you've got the strength and the means, walk away and rebuild your life with your daughter. I wish you both all the very best. X
Thank you everyone for you kind words and support. I just thought I would share an update on life now, 6 months from when I found out, 4 months since this post.
Life is good and getting better every day. I have found a new strength from within and I refuse to let my ex's behaviour continue to have a negative affect on my life going forward. It hasn't been easy, don't get me wrong, but I'm so glad I chose to walk away.
Financially it was a struggle at first but I have since had a promotion at work so I'm able to manage now. The loneliness at times was almost unbearable but I have now confided the truth in a few good friends and all have been amazingly supportive. I have a new confidence in myself, I can meet new people, take up new hobbies, please myself and be a little bit selfish at times. I have bought my first house, on my own, in another country. It's feels quite extraordinary really. Six months ago I cried for 10 days straight, couldn't eat, sleep, was barely able to function because of something someone who claimed to love me had done.
I'm not saying that walking away is right for everyone but for me I have decided to make my own happy ending. For those just starting out on this horrific journey, my heart goes out to you. I just wanted to share my story and for people to know that things can get better in time.
Life is good and getting better every day. I have found a new strength from within and I refuse to let my ex's behaviour continue to have a negative affect on my life going forward. It hasn't been easy, don't get me wrong, but I'm so glad I chose to walk away.
Financially it was a struggle at first but I have since had a promotion at work so I'm able to manage now. The loneliness at times was almost unbearable but I have now confided the truth in a few good friends and all have been amazingly supportive. I have a new confidence in myself, I can meet new people, take up new hobbies, please myself and be a little bit selfish at times. I have bought my first house, on my own, in another country. It's feels quite extraordinary really. Six months ago I cried for 10 days straight, couldn't eat, sleep, was barely able to function because of something someone who claimed to love me had done.
I'm not saying that walking away is right for everyone but for me I have decided to make my own happy ending. For those just starting out on this horrific journey, my heart goes out to you. I just wanted to share my story and for people to know that things can get better in time.
Hi robin
Im so sorry about that. I wish you the very best and hope you heal from all of this overtime. Sometimes we don't have anything else other than someone we spent most of our life with.
He must have done something horrible if it is a first offence and got him a 3 year sentence. Doesn't help that he admitted to his illness and was still around the children.
I hope the kids are safe and you find your way back into life because you will. Don't let someone else control your life take back control x
lots of support groups and I genuinely cannot stress going into therapy x
Im so sorry about that. I wish you the very best and hope you heal from all of this overtime. Sometimes we don't have anything else other than someone we spent most of our life with.
He must have done something horrible if it is a first offence and got him a 3 year sentence. Doesn't help that he admitted to his illness and was still around the children.
I hope the kids are safe and you find your way back into life because you will. Don't let someone else control your life take back control x
lots of support groups and I genuinely cannot stress going into therapy x
Suziesweet
I don't know what you're trying to imply. My children are adults. He was sent to prison, first offence for IIOC, making. End of. Don't think your person is safe from a custodial sentence. Depends on the Judge on the day. My children are and always have been, perfectly safe. You seen to be implying that my ex admitted an attraction to children and just carried on being around children. Not the case at all.
I don't know what you're trying to imply. My children are adults. He was sent to prison, first offence for IIOC, making. End of. Don't think your person is safe from a custodial sentence. Depends on the Judge on the day. My children are and always have been, perfectly safe. You seen to be implying that my ex admitted an attraction to children and just carried on being around children. Not the case at all.
'The kinder you are, the more you get hurt'.... so true. I don't have the words to say anymore at the moment... other than I went back after 2 years apart believing he had tried his absolute best to make fundamental changes. 5 years later and I found the evidence. Straight to divorce. I feel so stupid, used, and naive. I keep telling myself that I did the best thing I thought I could do with the information I had at the time, but it makes it no better. I hope this hell will be over soon, because I don't have the capacity I had before to deal with it all anymore.
You know what, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't!
I hate him, I'll never EVER forgive him - the stress it has caused me and my family.
The fact I will never get these past 4 years back - my daughter is 4 this July and we have never been a normal family since the knock! Every birthday, every christmas, every holiday it just hangs over me!
I wish I never met him but then, I would not have my beautiful daughter!
But, I do love and care about him.
I hate him, I'll never EVER forgive him - the stress it has caused me and my family.
The fact I will never get these past 4 years back - my daughter is 4 this July and we have never been a normal family since the knock! Every birthday, every christmas, every holiday it just hangs over me!
I wish I never met him but then, I would not have my beautiful daughter!
But, I do love and care about him.