Christmas. The most emotional time of the year!
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Thank you to those that reassurance me that I wasn't upsetting people. I am relieved that I can remain on the forum, I find it so helpful!
So, it's started. The Christmas cards are arriving. 2 piles, one addressed to me only (from people who know) and one addressed to us both wishing us a happy Christmas (clearly they don't know). There's more in the pile of those that do sadly. They will be my only 'Christmas decorations' this year. I normally go all out on fresh flowers and real trees, cooking and baking, entertaining. Now the house is quiet and subdued. This is when I wish I had other family to focus on. Party invites coming in with 'if you feel up to it'. Lots of Christmas Day invites too.
This situation is hard enough, without the pressure of 'Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year'!!!
Thanks to TutleyMutely for mentioning The Dali Lama book, I'm reading it, and it's given me some hope and confidence that I WILL find happiness within me. I am already feeling calmer, and I'm feeling that I CAN face others, and hold my head up high!! I am still ME. I can do it. I have nothing to hide. Those that care know more than the video, those that don't care don't matter. But I am not going to hide from them.
Husband is still away. Says he never wants to come back to our home. So the future is uncertain. But he is getting lots of help, and seems not to really be present, I believe that will come. Thanks to Lee69, your advice re husband has been such a help. im not going to try not to worry about him too much. But at least we have now moved forward to talking on the phone more. He is really trying to find himself, therapy is raising lots of things that are a suprise to him, he needs to work through them and get well before thinking about me, I understand that.
So, wish me luck as I try to move towards happiness. I hope you all find much happiness too. We have to find out inner strength to help us get through. All you ladies are amazing....thank you so much for sharing your stories. I hope we all get through this and all come out the other end stronger, healthier and happier!
xxx
So, it's started. The Christmas cards are arriving. 2 piles, one addressed to me only (from people who know) and one addressed to us both wishing us a happy Christmas (clearly they don't know). There's more in the pile of those that do sadly. They will be my only 'Christmas decorations' this year. I normally go all out on fresh flowers and real trees, cooking and baking, entertaining. Now the house is quiet and subdued. This is when I wish I had other family to focus on. Party invites coming in with 'if you feel up to it'. Lots of Christmas Day invites too.
This situation is hard enough, without the pressure of 'Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year'!!!
Thanks to TutleyMutely for mentioning The Dali Lama book, I'm reading it, and it's given me some hope and confidence that I WILL find happiness within me. I am already feeling calmer, and I'm feeling that I CAN face others, and hold my head up high!! I am still ME. I can do it. I have nothing to hide. Those that care know more than the video, those that don't care don't matter. But I am not going to hide from them.
Husband is still away. Says he never wants to come back to our home. So the future is uncertain. But he is getting lots of help, and seems not to really be present, I believe that will come. Thanks to Lee69, your advice re husband has been such a help. im not going to try not to worry about him too much. But at least we have now moved forward to talking on the phone more. He is really trying to find himself, therapy is raising lots of things that are a suprise to him, he needs to work through them and get well before thinking about me, I understand that.
So, wish me luck as I try to move towards happiness. I hope you all find much happiness too. We have to find out inner strength to help us get through. All you ladies are amazing....thank you so much for sharing your stories. I hope we all get through this and all come out the other end stronger, healthier and happier!
xxx
Sorry for my rubbish posts, it's hard when you can't reread what you've typed!!!x
Blimey Tabs - there are no typos or spelling mistakes in your wonderfully articulate post - and you can't see what you're typing?! I am so sad your Christmas has been tarnished by this. (Politics hasn't helped the Christmas cheer either!). I am touched that you are finding 'The Art of Happiness' helpful - I'll let my partner know. He wishes he had read the part about knowing the difference between 'pleasure' and happiness' BEFORE he got hooked on internet porn - but hindsight is a fine thing let us know how it goes for you. I know I'll be checking the forums.
We are going to join HIS family - they have a self contained annexe that partner can hide away in - but I'm hopeful he will take more steps towards the light and face hi relatives. I'm also hoping we won't spoil their holiday. Big Sigh (what an accurate monicker THT is.).
love to you and yours Tabs.
We are going to join HIS family - they have a self contained annexe that partner can hide away in - but I'm hopeful he will take more steps towards the light and face hi relatives. I'm also hoping we won't spoil their holiday. Big Sigh (what an accurate monicker THT is.).
love to you and yours Tabs.
Glad you decided to stay, this forum is a lifeline for a lot of us. Christmas can be a tough time, I can't say I'm looking forward to it that much. I hope you can find that happiness, I'm going to search out that book too as it sounds like a good read.
Poster, I love that quote from your Dad :)
Poster, I love that quote from your Dad :)
I haven't posted in a while things ah a been up and down for me recently but like the rest of you I am surviving. So nearly 6 months post knock after given a 3 month timescale I thought this nightmare would have concluded one way or another and I would be getting on with xmas. We are getting on with life his story remains the same and only time will tell. Part of me wants to forget the whole thing but I have 2 little ones to think of and not going to let him ruin this for us. He's not being particularly helpful with regards to xmas preparations but I guess that's most men anyway. I'm just trying to make memories for the kids and me. There is minimal people who know our current situation so trying to paint on happy cheery face when with others many think I have the 'perfect' life we are far far from it! I always make new year resolutions this year will prob be something simple and achievable. Take care lovley ladies and stay strong!
Thank you everyone. I love 'Life gave you a muddy patch & you put on your wellies' ! X