11 days to go
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Hi all! Can't tell you how pleased I am Christmas is over and I can stop pretending that I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders. However it does mean we're 11 days to crown court sentencing and a potential 'life as we know it' flip......
in good news, I had a lovely walk for an hour and a half round the village yesterday with my sister in law and her dog! We chatted non stop, she listened, she asked good questions, she got a much better insight in to the context of problematic porn use and the way our CJS responds to these offences (which as we know differs greatly in other countries). We talked about the circumstances and like many people in society assumes there has to be an overwhelming amount of evidence to get a conviction, but as many of us here know that's not always the case. The CJS and press can be harsh and cruel - labelling people as sex offenders no matter what the context of the offending. There's a fear that surrounds our OHs and a wide belief that rehabilitation isn't possible, which again as many of us know is simply untrue. I explained about secondary victims - particularly the children of offenders which I think has given her real food for thought given the nature of her role. I think she understood much better about why I'm standing by him - she just feels heartbroken for me that I won't get the happiness or the life I deserve. I know that feeling all too well. Due to the nature of her job it's highly likely she won't be able to be in his company going forward - and I respect tha might have to be the case. Certainly if this gets out, there's no way that can happen. However she asked how she and my brother can support me and I said just giving me the space and ability to talk to them was exactly what I needed at this moment in time. So let's see ....
I know my family love me, understand and can plainly see how in love me and my OH are and they won't abandon me, so that's been very reassuring to hear. So let's see .....
I hope you all survived the festivities as best you could and that our people have made it through okay. If anyone needs to talk my invox is always open.
Today I can get back to mundane things, cleaning the house and sorting some prescriptions (my eldest just found out it's highg likely he has ceoaliac disease and his iron levels are at 4, when they should be over 20, so we've got that to explore and manage now.
The sun comes up and the sun goes down, take each day as it comes. Love to you all xxx
in good news, I had a lovely walk for an hour and a half round the village yesterday with my sister in law and her dog! We chatted non stop, she listened, she asked good questions, she got a much better insight in to the context of problematic porn use and the way our CJS responds to these offences (which as we know differs greatly in other countries). We talked about the circumstances and like many people in society assumes there has to be an overwhelming amount of evidence to get a conviction, but as many of us here know that's not always the case. The CJS and press can be harsh and cruel - labelling people as sex offenders no matter what the context of the offending. There's a fear that surrounds our OHs and a wide belief that rehabilitation isn't possible, which again as many of us know is simply untrue. I explained about secondary victims - particularly the children of offenders which I think has given her real food for thought given the nature of her role. I think she understood much better about why I'm standing by him - she just feels heartbroken for me that I won't get the happiness or the life I deserve. I know that feeling all too well. Due to the nature of her job it's highly likely she won't be able to be in his company going forward - and I respect tha might have to be the case. Certainly if this gets out, there's no way that can happen. However she asked how she and my brother can support me and I said just giving me the space and ability to talk to them was exactly what I needed at this moment in time. So let's see ....
I know my family love me, understand and can plainly see how in love me and my OH are and they won't abandon me, so that's been very reassuring to hear. So let's see .....
I hope you all survived the festivities as best you could and that our people have made it through okay. If anyone needs to talk my invox is always open.
Today I can get back to mundane things, cleaning the house and sorting some prescriptions (my eldest just found out it's highg likely he has ceoaliac disease and his iron levels are at 4, when they should be over 20, so we've got that to explore and manage now.
The sun comes up and the sun goes down, take each day as it comes. Love to you all xxx
Hello
i thought id post on how much i am thinking of your and your person. We have 13 days to go until sentencing and as much as i am looking forward to putting it behind us and moving on and my OH just getting on with whatever he may get, its the stress of it all.
I am not attending court with him as i have my little one to take to afternoon nursery (and with SS involved , i darent keep her off to just wait around for him even though nursery is not compulsory) so its just waiting for him to call me.
The judge told his barrister, it will not be a custodial and that starting point was either 18 month suspended or a high level community order but obvioulsy thats without the mitigating factors and his 2 character refrences.
hes got to go on monday for his pre sentence report which im hoping goes really well. Hes already briefly spoken to the probaiton officer who is doing it and my OH gets a nice feeling from him so fingers crossed and he told him the judge likes to have the sentence reports in so she can really go through them and make it smoother on the day so he can be in and out without any issues or waiting around.
then our awful journey with SS continues.
thing thats scares me is the possibilty it could be made public.
Judge is aware he has a young family, released him on no conditions except to sign the SOR and his barrister is going down family pathway but i know that isnt going to stop any media. We've not had it from magistrates or his plea at crown so im praying luck is on our side and we dont get any on the day of sentencing.
Wishing you all the best luck in the world, and my inbox is always open xx
i thought id post on how much i am thinking of your and your person. We have 13 days to go until sentencing and as much as i am looking forward to putting it behind us and moving on and my OH just getting on with whatever he may get, its the stress of it all.
I am not attending court with him as i have my little one to take to afternoon nursery (and with SS involved , i darent keep her off to just wait around for him even though nursery is not compulsory) so its just waiting for him to call me.
The judge told his barrister, it will not be a custodial and that starting point was either 18 month suspended or a high level community order but obvioulsy thats without the mitigating factors and his 2 character refrences.
hes got to go on monday for his pre sentence report which im hoping goes really well. Hes already briefly spoken to the probaiton officer who is doing it and my OH gets a nice feeling from him so fingers crossed and he told him the judge likes to have the sentence reports in so she can really go through them and make it smoother on the day so he can be in and out without any issues or waiting around.
then our awful journey with SS continues.
thing thats scares me is the possibilty it could be made public.
Judge is aware he has a young family, released him on no conditions except to sign the SOR and his barrister is going down family pathway but i know that isnt going to stop any media. We've not had it from magistrates or his plea at crown so im praying luck is on our side and we dont get any on the day of sentencing.
Wishing you all the best luck in the world, and my inbox is always open xx
I am in a similar position although waiting until the end of the month for sentencing. Sadly preparing for the worst so we are ready for anything. It's harder because geographically we are spread across the country with my sister currently living overseas. I'm so glad for this group that keeps me sane!
I am going to be without internet access for the next few days (probably a blessing!) so just wanted to wish you and OH all the luck in the world. I hope you get fair treatment and I am sure it will be a huge load lifted off your shoulders not having to worry about the endless possibilities when it's all done and dusted.
Thank you - there was mention of adjourning yesterday due to court capacity, but we think its still going ahead ....take care xxx
Joining you all for my persons January sentencing.