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Access following separation

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Tabbycat

Member since
December 2024

5 posts

Posted Mon December 30, 2024 10:18amReport post

We had the knock back in November and I've decided to split with my partner for the sake of my children and their future. I'm now trying to figure out how much access to give him. He would prefer to be here everyday, but I think that is confusing for my young children. But equally they love him and would WANT him here everyday. I think less contact is kinder in the long term, but soooo hard short term. I had wondered two dinners / bed times a week and a day on the weekend with my mother in law?!

Just wondered what other people did? At present my partner requires supervised access and SS / police described him as a low risk.



Thank you x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1091 posts

Posted Mon December 30, 2024 4:44pmReport post

Hi,

I think that sounds fair. Our daughter hasn't ever known dad to be at home, contact was initially once a week but as she has got older that didn't feel right for any of us. We're at around 3 times a week now which I would be happy to continue if we decided our relationship isn't working. I think it's about striking a balance for all of you. You don't want to give the children false hope that things will go back to how they were but also want them to maintain a relationship with their dad xxx

Tabbycat

Member since
December 2024

5 posts

Posted Tue December 31, 2024 1:26pmReport post

Thanks so much xxx

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

177 posts

Posted Sun January 26, 2025 9:39pmReport post

Hi Tabby

my partner was a very involved dad, good relationship with our child. It's hard, my child wants to see them every day, and they do because family have always been our wrap around/after school care and they also can supervise. Then an afternoon or evening on a weekend so I have some time to myself. This is as close to our "old" routine as we could adapt. However the thing I'm struggling to explain to other separated parents (and my family who don't know all the details) is why dad doesn't take him overnight or a full weekend. It's getting harder to explain the longer it goes on, so I'm hoping to maybe reduce the frequency.

its just so hard to know what to do for the best, and how well the kids will adapt.

then there's the added pressure of the unknown future and what if more restrictions are put in place.



it's just a miserable scenario to be in really. But so long as our kids are safe and happy that's a good start....I think

Edited Fri January 31, 2025 7:45pm