How do we carry on?
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Starr, I feel for you and I'm so sorry you find yourself amongst us.
I found the early days after the knock very difficult to deal with. It was all very raw and confusing. I tried to go back to work immediately but I couldn't cope with my stressful job on top of what was happening to us privately. I ended up being signed off for a couple of weeks. I could have pushed for longer but knowing that this process could take years, I knew I had to get back to work somehow, and the sooner the better. It was tough to start with and I felt that everyone knew (they didn't). I disclosed to my line manager, HR and Security (because I had to really) and they were supportive.
It's a cliche but it does get easier as the days pass. My advice is to be very wary of who you tell - the fewer the better. Even disclosing to my closest friend in whom I thought I could depend, reacted in a way I didn't expect. We are still friends but I'm not sure what will happen if convicted.
Has your person spoken to you about it? Have they had a chance to tell you their side? I have found that quiet talks about the what, the why and how we're both feeling helped us build some bridges in our somewhat fractured relationship. I only hope that he's told me the whole truth and there's not something else I will need to deal with down the line.
Take care and do read some of the pinned posts which contain masses of advice x
I found the early days after the knock very difficult to deal with. It was all very raw and confusing. I tried to go back to work immediately but I couldn't cope with my stressful job on top of what was happening to us privately. I ended up being signed off for a couple of weeks. I could have pushed for longer but knowing that this process could take years, I knew I had to get back to work somehow, and the sooner the better. It was tough to start with and I felt that everyone knew (they didn't). I disclosed to my line manager, HR and Security (because I had to really) and they were supportive.
It's a cliche but it does get easier as the days pass. My advice is to be very wary of who you tell - the fewer the better. Even disclosing to my closest friend in whom I thought I could depend, reacted in a way I didn't expect. We are still friends but I'm not sure what will happen if convicted.
Has your person spoken to you about it? Have they had a chance to tell you their side? I have found that quiet talks about the what, the why and how we're both feeling helped us build some bridges in our somewhat fractured relationship. I only hope that he's told me the whole truth and there's not something else I will need to deal with down the line.
Take care and do read some of the pinned posts which contain masses of advice x
We had knock last July for our 16yr old son. At first I felt exactly like that and at time wasn't working. When it came to starting my new job I was panicking how am I going to be able to leave him. Our case is we believe our son is innocent and he's fully cooporated with police. But I have the mum guilt why didn't I set tighter controls on devices. Because of this I felt my story was so different to everyone else.
It does become easier in a way and having something to occupy your mind is good. I won't lie I have times still when I think of the future where is this all going to end and moments of feeling anxious.
All I can say is use this group for support if only just to sound off and get stuff out of your head.
Sending hugs xx
It does become easier in a way and having something to occupy your mind is good. I won't lie I have times still when I think of the future where is this all going to end and moments of feeling anxious.
All I can say is use this group for support if only just to sound off and get stuff out of your head.
Sending hugs xx
Hi Starr
I'm sending you a virtual hug and I 100 % completely echo what runawaygirl said.
I'm 5 months post knock and still have days I can't believe we are going through this. I fear the future and our small towns reactions if our situation goes all the way. I want to stay in a safe bubble & shut the world out.
This forum has given me comfort in the most stressful situation I believe i'll ever face. I hope it helps you too.
We are all here for you x
I'm sending you a virtual hug and I 100 % completely echo what runawaygirl said.
I'm 5 months post knock and still have days I can't believe we are going through this. I fear the future and our small towns reactions if our situation goes all the way. I want to stay in a safe bubble & shut the world out.
This forum has given me comfort in the most stressful situation I believe i'll ever face. I hope it helps you too.
We are all here for you x
Hi
You are still very early in this awful journey. The only advice I can give is to just take one hour/day at a time. Look after yourself however you can.
This is not a quick process so you need to find a way to manage things long term. The first month was like a blur for me, I just felt I was on auto pilot. I am now 3 months in and although it it still awful it is much better than it was.
You are still very early in this awful journey. The only advice I can give is to just take one hour/day at a time. Look after yourself however you can.
This is not a quick process so you need to find a way to manage things long term. The first month was like a blur for me, I just felt I was on auto pilot. I am now 3 months in and although it it still awful it is much better than it was.
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