Couples Therapy
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I was just wondering if anyone since the knock has gone to couples therapy. And if you did how did it go. My OH will not go and see anyone and has only ever spoken to his probation officier. But insists on waiting for the NHS to wait for councilling. But it is now 2.5 years so i dont think that will happen. He is also very ill so it is hard to get him to engage in anything. So i was thinking on suggesting couples therapy. I must admitt i am not that keen myself but I am at a loss on how we can move forward. I have been happy for a while that I had made a decision to make no decision. But now that is not working for me, especially as we are not getting on too well.
Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks. Xx
Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks. Xx
Hi Webb, I'd be interested to hear answers on this too. I'm having psychological therapy, and my husband is seeing a StopSO therapist weekly, but we're very much on our own paths.
His is all about understanding his own behaviour and attitudes specific to offending and why he became addicted, how to live a better life etc, and mine is about the trauma and how to rebuild, grow, provide a better future for my children.
I feel like we need joint therapy to help us cooperate / collaborate on coparenting. I'm just not sure when - I think I need to wait for the criminal process to conclude as I want to know exactly what's happened (charges) and what the future is logistically (supervision, conviction, etc), before I can enter in to joint therapy. In the meantime however, I'm struggling with how to communicate my feelings and it'll be another 18 months+ until it's all done and dusted.
i'm wondering if there's a benefit to having a few sessions now, just to open lines of communication with him, or if it'll be a waste of time and money, or will undermine my own therapy.
His is all about understanding his own behaviour and attitudes specific to offending and why he became addicted, how to live a better life etc, and mine is about the trauma and how to rebuild, grow, provide a better future for my children.
I feel like we need joint therapy to help us cooperate / collaborate on coparenting. I'm just not sure when - I think I need to wait for the criminal process to conclude as I want to know exactly what's happened (charges) and what the future is logistically (supervision, conviction, etc), before I can enter in to joint therapy. In the meantime however, I'm struggling with how to communicate my feelings and it'll be another 18 months+ until it's all done and dusted.
i'm wondering if there's a benefit to having a few sessions now, just to open lines of communication with him, or if it'll be a waste of time and money, or will undermine my own therapy.
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Hi Lisa - I just wanted to say - I am in the same place at you! it is hard
I need to get brave and suggest couples work I feel but I am not ready yet.
I have some idea I want to write down before we do it, and some journally I need to share (once I have written it).... maybe this is the NY resolution that I need to focus on but equally I am working pretty full time, so don't half a day off each week like he does to see his counsellor.
I need to get brave and suggest couples work I feel but I am not ready yet.
I have some idea I want to write down before we do it, and some journally I need to share (once I have written it).... maybe this is the NY resolution that I need to focus on but equally I am working pretty full time, so don't half a day off each week like he does to see his counsellor.
I would be mindful that if joint therapy is to discuss the offending, then check the therapist is trained in IIOC offences. Not all are trained and can struggle to not pass bias or give informed advice. See if stopSo cover couple therapy.
Was the NHS referral clear it relates to IIOC? If it is for general therapy then again I doubt many NHS therapists are trained on the matter
I would love for my person to have one to one therapy. But the costs are prohibitive at the moment
Was the NHS referral clear it relates to IIOC? If it is for general therapy then again I doubt many NHS therapists are trained on the matter
I would love for my person to have one to one therapy. But the costs are prohibitive at the moment
I am unsure about the NHS councillor. It is probably general, but he wont engage with anyone. Thats why i thought about couples therapy. I will contact LFF and ask them about it, as Buckets you make a good point. Originally the post was how successful people found couples therapy with this type of conviction. Just clutching at straws at the moment to be honest.
My oh has been attending private therapist as still nothing from nhs I have attended on a few occasions with him mostly been when he was at his lowest and to give him reassurance and the therapist an understanding of where I am at, our daughter has went to a few joint sessions with him to allow him to see where she is at with it all, the therapist has been amazing with us all, I have still not had a solo appt as I feel I am not ready I need my oh in a better place first, we are 5 weeks away from conviction being spent it's been a quick year in some ways and feel we're another step closer to moving on