how to carry on with life?
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me and my partner had been together for almost 3 years when i found IIOC on his computer. i was the one to phone the police on him that day,however, i have made the decision to stay in a relationship on the condition he is completely open and honest with me throughout this journey. the only issue im worried about is the fact that we worked together. our employer was alerted and has terminated his contract, they are unaware of my decision to stay with him right now, but are aware it was me who reported him. im just worried that this will effect my job, im prepared to find a new job but its just not ideal. i feel as though my situation is so niche and just wondered if anyone else has any experience whatsoever in this kind of situation and can offer any advice?
Hi,
I've seen your other post as well and please know you're not alone. I also found images on my partners devices around July and reported it to the police and ended the relationship. It is a really difficult position to be in and not an easy thing to pick up the phone but you did the right thing! People will not fully understand unless they have been in the situation themselves, no matter what they say.
The first few months were awful and I didn't think I wanted to be in a relationship with him again but we have reconnected and are trying to make things work, though I know o won't have peace of mind until the investigation is over, he has assured me he has told me everything.
re: the contact with him questions on your other post. As part of my partners bail conditions he was not allowed contact with me and it was agreed he had to stay at another address until I agreed he could come back (though this wasn't a bail condition as such, the police advised us if we wanted to contact each other in the early stages we'd have to go through a mutual third party eg. Family member or friend). I then asked the police to lift the no contact restriction after a few weeks so it really does depend on what his bail conditions are. If you have a contact with the police I would recommend asking them what's allowed.
We also used to work together so have mutual friends there which has made it a bit difficult as not everyone knows. I can't see any reason why you're employer would have any work related issues with you but you may need to report your circumstances to HR as some organisations require you to let them know if you're part of a criminal investigation or maybe if you have a DBS or anything. In my case, as is yours, the police probably informed you you may have to attend court at a later date to be a witness? So worth checking with HR or your employee guidance.
Stay strong and be kind to yourself, it will get a bit easier in time but it's okay to have bad days.
I've seen your other post as well and please know you're not alone. I also found images on my partners devices around July and reported it to the police and ended the relationship. It is a really difficult position to be in and not an easy thing to pick up the phone but you did the right thing! People will not fully understand unless they have been in the situation themselves, no matter what they say.
The first few months were awful and I didn't think I wanted to be in a relationship with him again but we have reconnected and are trying to make things work, though I know o won't have peace of mind until the investigation is over, he has assured me he has told me everything.
re: the contact with him questions on your other post. As part of my partners bail conditions he was not allowed contact with me and it was agreed he had to stay at another address until I agreed he could come back (though this wasn't a bail condition as such, the police advised us if we wanted to contact each other in the early stages we'd have to go through a mutual third party eg. Family member or friend). I then asked the police to lift the no contact restriction after a few weeks so it really does depend on what his bail conditions are. If you have a contact with the police I would recommend asking them what's allowed.
We also used to work together so have mutual friends there which has made it a bit difficult as not everyone knows. I can't see any reason why you're employer would have any work related issues with you but you may need to report your circumstances to HR as some organisations require you to let them know if you're part of a criminal investigation or maybe if you have a DBS or anything. In my case, as is yours, the police probably informed you you may have to attend court at a later date to be a witness? So worth checking with HR or your employee guidance.
Stay strong and be kind to yourself, it will get a bit easier in time but it's okay to have bad days.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! He doesn't have any bail conditions stating he can't contact me, he's bailed to his mums address, therefore i'm guessing contact with me is fine? as it's not been stated otherwise?