Will social services ever let him home
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I guess im just looking for some hope.
3 children and due my fourth in 3 months time. 2 older children are my exes. Youngest& u born is my partners at the moment social services are saying no contact with my older two. And only supervised with my youngest. The children are all on a CPP as of last month and that meeting was just absolutely horrendous. The things that wer said still keeps me up. Recently because of pressure from SS I decided to tell the rest of my family who didn't know and they haven't taken it well. My ex after 2 years from the knock has now also decided he's not happy with this (after previously being on board and having no issue at all, he even had meetings witb social services and said he wanted him to be allowed home to be a better man) and has been literally telling anyone and everyone who will listen. Within the last month it really feels like what was left of normal life is now gone. I have 0 support anymore other than this group amd my partner is living for away so it's hard for him to support me. I'm just looking for a bit of hope that it will get better and eventually social services are going to let him home or atleast just let me supervise. I am waiting to start the inform course and my partner too is waiting to start it, they are doing a protective parenting assessment but I just know that's not going well. I could just really do with a little bit of hope to cling on to right now.
3 children and due my fourth in 3 months time. 2 older children are my exes. Youngest& u born is my partners at the moment social services are saying no contact with my older two. And only supervised with my youngest. The children are all on a CPP as of last month and that meeting was just absolutely horrendous. The things that wer said still keeps me up. Recently because of pressure from SS I decided to tell the rest of my family who didn't know and they haven't taken it well. My ex after 2 years from the knock has now also decided he's not happy with this (after previously being on board and having no issue at all, he even had meetings witb social services and said he wanted him to be allowed home to be a better man) and has been literally telling anyone and everyone who will listen. Within the last month it really feels like what was left of normal life is now gone. I have 0 support anymore other than this group amd my partner is living for away so it's hard for him to support me. I'm just looking for a bit of hope that it will get better and eventually social services are going to let him home or atleast just let me supervise. I am waiting to start the inform course and my partner too is waiting to start it, they are doing a protective parenting assessment but I just know that's not going well. I could just really do with a little bit of hope to cling on to right now.
I'm afraid nobody can give you any hope, it's some work, some luck but I wish you all the best.
I have replied to one of your earlier posts quite at length and emphasised the work you have to put in, in order to be marked protective. I hope you had seen it and taken some of it on board. You being marked protective will certainly change things for the better.
I hope your brothers eventually come around and support you and realise you are just doing your best navigating a very difficult situation.
I have replied to one of your earlier posts quite at length and emphasised the work you have to put in, in order to be marked protective. I hope you had seen it and taken some of it on board. You being marked protective will certainly change things for the better.
I hope your brothers eventually come around and support you and realise you are just doing your best navigating a very difficult situation.
Sounds identical to my situation and I'm worried about wether he can ever come home too.
Unfortunately I can't help much but say I understand how your feeling.
I took a very hard road through all of this and eneded up losing my baby girl to the system for 18 months.
However she is now home and my partner is slowly moving home to with social services approval.
It was a long road and one I would not wish on anyone.
Every social services are different and it's hard to say if they will or won't let him come home.
All I can say is he needs to put the work in attend courses, therapy. Prove he can change.
And at the same time so do you. Don't minimize what he's done at any point.
Work hard on trying to understand where they are coming from.
Also regarding family that's a hard one.
My family mainly walked away from me when I stood by him and again when I decided to have a baby with him and when she went into care when born etc. I have never forgiven them from walking out on me but more so my child. She did nothing wrong.
His family on the other hand have been nothing but supportive and have often have our daughter so we can have us time. As well as being there when ever we are struggling. Or even if I am just struggling which happens sometimes.
I hope your family can come round one day.
But they might not unfortunately and they may be very hard.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time
I took a very hard road through all of this and eneded up losing my baby girl to the system for 18 months.
However she is now home and my partner is slowly moving home to with social services approval.
It was a long road and one I would not wish on anyone.
Every social services are different and it's hard to say if they will or won't let him come home.
All I can say is he needs to put the work in attend courses, therapy. Prove he can change.
And at the same time so do you. Don't minimize what he's done at any point.
Work hard on trying to understand where they are coming from.
Also regarding family that's a hard one.
My family mainly walked away from me when I stood by him and again when I decided to have a baby with him and when she went into care when born etc. I have never forgiven them from walking out on me but more so my child. She did nothing wrong.
His family on the other hand have been nothing but supportive and have often have our daughter so we can have us time. As well as being there when ever we are struggling. Or even if I am just struggling which happens sometimes.
I hope your family can come round one day.
But they might not unfortunately and they may be very hard.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time
Hi Skysie. Did you stay with him when you lost your daughter or had you separated? I am doing everything I possibly can as is he. Our problem is getting him the help he needs appears to be to coat money which we don't have right now. But time will tell I suppose.
My family that is what it is. There have been underlying issues for a few years this just topped it.
Yeah his family are super supportive, always have been. If my older children didn't see their dad as much as they did we'd pack up and move to his family but I can't take them away from their dad for myself. I'm debating moving somewhere completely different but close enough for them to still see their dad but I don't know. We shall see.
My family that is what it is. There have been underlying issues for a few years this just topped it.
Yeah his family are super supportive, always have been. If my older children didn't see their dad as much as they did we'd pack up and move to his family but I can't take them away from their dad for myself. I'm debating moving somewhere completely different but close enough for them to still see their dad but I don't know. We shall see.
So originally we separated but I made some mistakes and lied to them we were in contact and told them we weren't. They found out.
They knew along I wanted to fight as a family but I felt so pressured by family and social to leave that I did something I didn't want to. And it made me more messed up to be honest.
We fought as a family from 8 weeks after she was born and taken. We fought especially hard.
We found therapists that would offer discount due to low income. We did couples therapy as well as separate therapy to do with his offending.
Stopso offer some reduced cost therapy. Also I think if you ask lucy faithful inform course can help with funding for the course if he really can't afford it. My partner was going to but his stopso therapy was basically the same and my partner preferred 1 on 1.
We lived separately from a month before she was born and currently moving back in slowly. I need a 2 bed before he can fully move back in hoping to move in the next few months waiting for council application to be approved.
Family is hard and i think always will be.
I have never really got on with my family (adopted myself and it broke down over the years tbh) they still can't see why I am so upset that they walked out on her. When she came home they all suddenly wanted to be involved again and I don't want my daughter growing up around people who only want to be involved when it's easier if that makes sense.
And that must be hard especially since they still see there dad and moving would make that harder.
Maybe move somewhere a bit further away but not to far that they can stil see him?
They knew along I wanted to fight as a family but I felt so pressured by family and social to leave that I did something I didn't want to. And it made me more messed up to be honest.
We fought as a family from 8 weeks after she was born and taken. We fought especially hard.
We found therapists that would offer discount due to low income. We did couples therapy as well as separate therapy to do with his offending.
Stopso offer some reduced cost therapy. Also I think if you ask lucy faithful inform course can help with funding for the course if he really can't afford it. My partner was going to but his stopso therapy was basically the same and my partner preferred 1 on 1.
We lived separately from a month before she was born and currently moving back in slowly. I need a 2 bed before he can fully move back in hoping to move in the next few months waiting for council application to be approved.
Family is hard and i think always will be.
I have never really got on with my family (adopted myself and it broke down over the years tbh) they still can't see why I am so upset that they walked out on her. When she came home they all suddenly wanted to be involved again and I don't want my daughter growing up around people who only want to be involved when it's easier if that makes sense.
And that must be hard especially since they still see there dad and moving would make that harder.
Maybe move somewhere a bit further away but not to far that they can stil see him?