Family and Friends Forum

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 12:08pmReport post

So after being re-arranged 4 times, it looks like we finally go to Court this week. I have been totally burying my head in the sand but now it's imminent (again) and all the stress and anxiety is back. It is 2 years now since the knock. My family is totally destroyed- I know many others are also in the same boat.

on the run up to the last court dates I felt a little confident that a custodial was 90% unlikely. Now, it's been so long that what little confidence I had has gone and can't help feel total despair that a custodial will happen.

If it does I just dont Know how I will cope on so many levels. He will lose his home on top of every thing else and I will have to be the one to deal with the fall out from that.



I don't want to go to court but feel I must.

I'm back to not sleeping - will this ever end?



this is the only place I can off load, no one else can remotely understand and I, like many of you here, am not willing to share with anyone I don't have to.

Saint Jude

Member since
January 2025

6 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 1:07pmReport post

Athena, I'm so sorry to read this so just wanted to say so. I'm only weeks into my nightmare so have little advice really. I will keep you and your loved one in my thoughts this week and hope you get the best possible outcome.

Starr

Member since
December 2024

30 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 1:54pmReport post

Athena, my heart goes out to you.

I hope you get the best outcome possible. I'll be thinking of you x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2446 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 2:00pmReport post

Athena x

As hard as it is at least you will have an outcome

I know its easier said than done but try not to overthink on the what ifs, focus on a day at a time, once you have an outcome you know what you will have to deal with , I have everything x that it is non custodial xx

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 4:39pmReport post

Thank you both for reading my ramble.

I'll find a way to cope with anything else. I struggle to see what a custodial will achieve to be honest. It will add so much stress for me though, being left to clear up as it were.



i am trying very hard to stay positive.

T2021

Member since
December 2020

129 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 5:44pmReport post

Athena have you looked up the sentencing guidelines on tbe charges: it may give you an idea of what you are facing x

S1lentScream

Member since
April 2023

26 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 11:51pmReport post

Please stay positive.

We had the same as you, with court date being put back on a monthly basis for 6 months then it being done on a weekly basis for 2 further weeks. This was unbearable, so I know how this in itself is very stressful as you build yourself up each time and there is the frustration when it is delayed again.

Although when it was definitely set to go ahead although part of me was dreading that the day was finally here I was also glad that it was not going to be deferred again. The barrister had to tell the judge that the delays were not down to us but the court's system so I would like to think that was taken into account as well as the mitigating factors.

The Barrister did put us at ease at the short meeting before we were called in so I hope that this is the case for you.

Wishing you all the very best. X

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 7:33amReport post

Good morning all

I have looked up the sentencing guidelines - we have been told it falls into a 2A. So it has a broad scope. Solicitors & Probation are both recommending a suspended with Community Service, but as I've been reading on here I understand that it is down to the judge on the day.

Has anyone else had similar charges?

Just waiting for the case to be confirmed as listed for this week. The last 2 times it was cancelled/ rearranged the day before.

T2021

Member since
December 2020

129 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 8:43amReport post

What are the charges x

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 8:58amReport post

Hi T2021

charge is Attempted Communication. There are no images.

T2021

Member since
December 2020

129 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 12:22pmReport post

Thank you. My person is the same charge.

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 4:45pmReport post

We are listed for tomorrow.

i hope to god it's not custodial. I just want it over now.

lostinthewoods

Member since
September 2024

76 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 5:14pmReport post

Will be thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome x

K4

Member since
October 2022

618 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 5:44pmReport post

Thinking of you and sending my best for tomorrow x

Stan cat

Member since
October 2024

48 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 5:57pmReport post

Thinking of you try to stay positive. I know it's hard to sending you love and hugs

Poppop

Member since
September 2023

73 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 6:01pmReport post

Athena007

My son was attempted communication, with a decoy

Was your other half real child or decoy



My son did send images



He got 2 yrs suspended sentence

100 hrs community, now complete

10 yrs sor and shipo

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 6:15pmReport post

Hi Poppop

my son is Attempted Communication (decoy). No images were sent.



thank you all so much for your support. I will of course let you all know.

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

820 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 9:33pmReport post

Hi, my son's charges were communication and incitement. He received a 2 year suspended sentence, 300 hours community service, a fine, attendance on the Horizon course, 10 year SHPO and SOR.

I'll be hoping for the best possible outcome for you both tomorrow and keeping you in my thoughts.

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Mon January 6, 2025 9:49pmReport post

Thank you all so much.

This really is my saviour! No one else on earth understands like you all do & I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for that.

Athena007

Member since
June 2024

33 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 4:38pmReport post

So today we finally got closure, of sorts!



it's taken 2 years , charge was Attempted Communication, no images. It was deemed to fall into cat 2A.

Due to the time elapsed since arrest, the fact he pled guilty straight away, he's done EVERYTHING possible to show remorse, written to the judge, got character references & has been in counselling ever since, outcome is



Community Order, 2 yrs, 100 hours unpaid work, 20 days rehab, 5 yrs SOR & SHPO.



Now we can hopefully move on. He has work to do but at least knows what he has to do. Closure of a kind is in touching distance, however there are many relationships to try and rebuild.



it was the best we could of hoped for. I'm truly exhausted & incredibly emotional.

LisaMargeMaggie

Member since
July 2024

131 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 4:42pmReport post

Huge hugs Athena xxx

mum1982H

Member since
September 2022

30 posts

Posted Tue January 7, 2025 4:44pmReport post

so glad you've finally got some closure and a more positive outcome. I bet its a huge weight lifted x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2446 posts

Posted Wed January 8, 2025 10:15amReport post

So pleased you have finally got an outcome sending hugs xx