Family and Friends Forum

is this a more unusual situation

Notifications OFF

mum1982H

Member since
September 2022

26 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 1:20pmReport post

My partners arrest wasn't strictly based on Internet based intelligence.

They had seen a flag at my address from a few years prior which they now know was due to my son at 13 being sent iioc(I'm sure they'll investigate that properly now) police came and spoke to him, seem satisfied he understood the reason for questioning, left and we heard nothing since. He was very honest in recalling what and when this happened. they looked at his phone but didn't take anything.

Now this investigation is In relation to someone else, I know that it's a female who he has been having an online relationship with for a good 2 years, he assured me he's never met or spoken with her in person(this is what he felt most important to tell me) he admits the conversations were often very sexual(he admits to porn addiction which doesn't surprise me) it seems very clear they've sent eachother pictures, porn ect. what I don't know is if this lady is being investigated or if she has accused. she's noted in his bail conditions as someone he must not contact(social services mistakenly read out her name to me thinking it were me)I know in either situation that would be the case.

The police didn't want to take any devices other than his personal devices, when they saw this contact in his phone they were basically ready to leave and arrest him.

They did call and tell me nothing was immediately found on his devices other than adult porn but they had to be sent away. They didn't even ask if was ending the relationship just said they saw no reason ss couldn't asses the home situation and have him back home for the time being and that they didn't see him as a risk to us(16yr old at home)

maybe I'm just clinging to some hope that in someway this is either mallicious or the police not comprehending a female could commit these crimes.

He has shattered my world, currently 34 weeks pregnant and realising I'm doing this alone and trying to fight for him to just have some kind of contact with the baby. His grown up children are devastated. ss tell me they know more and wouldn't allow him anywhere near a child if it were their child. Every good day I have is followed by hopelessness, I cannot sleep just constant googling to find a similar scenario.

he cannot afford a solicitor currently but as he obviously can't live with us I've asked he stop supporting us and I'm in the process of claiming benefits and my maternity is due to start next week. hopefully he does get one although he's just so he'll bent on having done nothing wrong.

Anyone know of or been in a similar situation? People can lie I'm so aware of that. I'm just so devastated

WorriedAndConfused

Member since
November 2024

33 posts

Posted Sun January 5, 2025 2:41pmReport post

Not been in this exact situation other than the experience with SS. My first SW said he shouldn't be allowed home, that she knew loads about the investigation, claimed he had hundreds of images (the images he was sent are under 100) that we will never be a family again. The new SW told me my person should be living at home as per his bail conditions, that he will make sure we can stay a family for now. He also said each SW works on personal opinion